O1 World IC thread

Games and stories.
User avatar
Heretic
Posts: 1750
Joined: Wed May 21, 2008 4:45 pm
Location: IN AMERICA

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Heretic »

The secret service blacksuit who was standing next to Ire handed him a small letter. Ire, after opening it, read:

Dear Prime Minister,
The Space Funding Program has been a success. Our hired German and Athenian scientists are working on a spacecraft design. Due to limited resources and funds, our main construction overview is for a reusable orbital spacecraft, a different approach to spaceflight. Unlike the Soviet style expendable bottle rocket doctrine, we believe of an airplane style spacefaring vehicle which can go up to space as well as go gently down on planets. The name of the craft shall be called the X-15, from the X-series of special prototype aircraft. We have already selected special pilots from the Chinese Civil War for the test flights when the time comes.

But this is not why I'm writing this secret letter. It seems that our sponsors have ordered us to make landing mechanisms for landing on satellite surfaces. The biggest advocate for this is the DRILL Corporation, the mining and mineral extraction Titan. Does this give you any hints on what they want, Prime Minister? Already, the corporations are having their tendrils reach out to grab the ultimate unregulated area: Space, the Final Frontier. Unfortunately, we cannot do anything to stop them, or else they will cut off our funding. Sir, just be careful out there.

From,
Doctor X


Michael Ire gave a low sigh as he shredded the letter and gave the shreds to the secret agent blacksuit, who pocketed them.

"Goodbye, Utopian gender-equality spandex-wearing space traveling adventure," Ire muttered, "Hello, Space Marines."
Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
-Joseph Campbell
User avatar
Shroom Man 777
Global Mod
Posts: 4637
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 7:09 pm
Contact:

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

SOVIET SOVIETSKI
Image
A People's Publication for the Proletariat (1963 edition)

LEGENDARY LENIN PROLETARIAN PEACE PRIZE INDEMNIFIES INTERNATIONALIST INTEGRITY

Image

For the first time ever, the Soviet Union has opened the Legendary Lenin Proletarian Peace Prize to foreigners and people who are not citizens of the USSR or other communist countries in a bid to promote the socialist ideals of furthering peace not just in socialist nations but also amongst the international proletariats throughout the world as well. The Legendary Lenin Proletarian Peace Prize not only celebrates people renowned for their excellent virtue and commendable communist character, but it is also awarded to specific acts or achievements of greatness that - regardless of the person or persons responsible - contribute greatly to promoting peace and alleviating human suffering worldwide.

In this years issuance of the Legendary Lenin Proletarian Peace Prize, several key international figures will be awarded by the people of the Soviet Union in gratitude and appreciation, symbolized by a simple golden medal engraved face of First Premier Vladimir Lenin. There is no cash prize because the Legendary Lenin Proletarian Peace Prize does not endorse capitalism whatsoever.

The recepients for this year's Legendary Lenin Proletarian Peace Prize include:

Image

Lord Commander Eliphas I: For the redeeming act of eating cyanide and thus ridding the world of an Athenian war criminal, namely himself, held responsible for the European-Athenian War and the atrocities committed in the conflict. As the Lord Commander is no longer with us, the award will be given to his grieving family and his son.

Image

Former President John Coleman and Congressman Aaron Absuras: For the impeachment and stepping down of former president Coleman, leading to the last regime of Old Athenia and the subsequent balkanization and dismemberment of the Athenian nation. As this was done by the efforts of both men, impeached Former President John Coleman and Congressman Aaron Absuras - the representative who led the impeachment hearings - then they shall share the award.

Image

The Men and Women of the Swift Rajastani Navy: For the total atomic obliteration of the Athenian aircraft carrier Eliphas and the person of mass destruction contained within it, and the subsequent liberation of Shroomalia. As the identities of the seamen and submariners who launched the atomic torpedoes are secret, the award shall be presented to the Maharajah himself.

Image

Prime Minister John Renault Gabriel: For his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples and bridging the gap between the Quadruple Alliance nations and the rest of the world in the post-Athenian environment. While the new Prime Minister has yet fulfilled many of his goals, the Legendary Lenin Proletarian Peace Prize is an early vote of confidence intended to build global support for the policies of his young administration.
Image

"Sometimes Shroomy I wonder if your imagination actually counts as some sort of war crime." - FROD
User avatar
Heretic
Posts: 1750
Joined: Wed May 21, 2008 4:45 pm
Location: IN AMERICA

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Heretic »

The Chinese Tribune

Texas once again

Image
Texan mercs taking a snooze in the trenchline borderr in Southeastern Jillin. On the other side of the border, wild Manchurian horsemen bandits, Korean cowboys, and STRAK forces run amock.

Doctor Manchuria has stated in a press conference today stating that due to the Sovereign's need for manpower, despite being the most populous nations amongst the three Chinese nations, Texas's most famous occupation and activity in foreign affairs, Soldiering for Fortune, is coming back to China.

The Great War, the Sino-French War, the Chinese Civil Conflict. The Texan mercenary has been in it all, as well as in other operations such as Athenia and Shroomalia. These wild cowboys of war will blow anything up if the price is right. Texas's unofficial army. Amidst Texas's still present Racism, the profiteers consider each other equal. The Mercenaries whether they be Blacks, Natives, Orientals, or Whites, join up to kill the paid target, whether they be "Yellow Perils, Negro Savages, Elitist Euros, or Commie Ruskie". And this time, they will be helping the Soveriegn Army and Tualians push into Manchuria. The "Devil Ducks" F-101 Voodoo squadron, a group of Freelancing jet fighters, were already in sight protecting Sovereign B-57 Medium Bombers that drop their fire bombs on strategic military strongpoints. Soon, many mercenaries, both companies and freelancers, appeared docking or landing in Jingshi, the capital of the Sovereign.

The Texan Prime Minister, Michael Ire, who is currently in the Soviet Union, which is an ally of the STRAK, was not available for comment today.
Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
-Joseph Campbell
User avatar
Shroom Man 777
Global Mod
Posts: 4637
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 7:09 pm
Contact:

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

KIM IL KILL:
TERRIBLE TRENCH TIMES

Image

The STRAK's advance had encroached further into the Manchurian territories formerly captured by the Sovereign Chinese. Sovereign China's first line of defense in its 'acquired lands' was a mighty line of trenches demarcating the border, ditches filled with simple Sovereign soldiers armed with even simpler bolt-action rifles, claimed to have been opted over the M-16 due to the harsh weather conditions requiring more reliable and accurate weapons (but perhaps also due to stingy Chinese accountants pinching pennies with their abacuses). They huddled for warmth in their foxholes and ditches, eating diet rations and Doctor Manchuria Soup heated by frostbitten campfires, and while waiting for the enemy to come to them rather than going to the enemy themselves (thus saving themselves time and energy) they spent their time writing their names on the snow with their own urine or making snow angels.

They were in high spirits. Doctor Manchuria, their great leader, had brought their country out of its previous miserable state of utter decay and decomposition and was leading it into a new age of peace and prosperity. Certainly a little war in Manchuria against some Koreans wasn't too much to ask of the people, was it?

Accompanying these brave huddling military masses of men were Sovereign China's abundant tanks rolling out to meet the enemy head on, and soaring overhead were the Delta fighters and the Voodoos, taking to the skies and showing the Korean ZiGs what for.

As Chinese and Korean tanks and planes did battle in distant fronts, the brave Sovereign soldiers continued their trenchline vigil. They knew that eventually, the STRAK would come. One day, sooner or later.

Image

With the distinct sound of a bugle, the STRAK came. All of them. Coming in the form of a human wave attack, sending wave after wave of men to the Chinese lines. Under a rain of mortar artillery, hundreds upon hundreds of Korean soldiers ran screaming for the Chinese lines. The Sovereign soldiers began picking them off at a distance with their bolt-actions, and to add to that accurate but low-rate firepower were thirty, fifty calibers and M-60s, all of which were considerably less accurate but had way higher-rates of fire and were arranged to form a lethal Chinese chaingun crossfire.

The Koreans died in droves, mowed down like wheat by the scythe. But the Sovereign Chinese soldiers' calls for reinforcements were not answered, for across the Chinese trench lines similar things were happening with the Korean advance meeting the Chinese positions. Elsewhere, the Chinese lines were supplemented by tanks and they too were met with the many tankskis the STRAK inherited from the Soviets. Where the Chinese had air support, ZiGs were also launched to dogfight with them. In those fronts, there was a gridlock wherein the Chinese defense was met by the Korean advance - to equally powerful forces meeting each other head-on and crumpling upon impact.

But in other fronts, for the Sovereign Chinese soldiers in the frontlines, things were going in different ways. Despite their casualties, the Koreans were nonetheless pushing ever harder and were gaining more ground. Inch by inch, the distance gained measured by an equal distribution of corpses. They were getting nearer. The sight of the Koreans as they approached was a terrifying one, and once the range was closed the Chinese soon found their bolt-actions lacking against the the rugged Killyshnikovs shooting at them in full automatic rapid fire. Mortars came thumping down from the sky, turning foxholes into craters while a few of the Koreans even came armed with rocket-propelled grenades. Amidst explosions that picked up snow and dirt, explosions that blew people up into pieces that stuck onto those people who hadn't exploded yet, bits and pieces of exploding Chinamen ended up staining the faces of advancing Korean soldiers with blood, bone and Mandarin meat. The STRAK had finally reached the Chinese lines.

Hundreds of screaming Koreans with bayonets lugged on their Killyshnikovs jumped into the trenches, and the Sovereign Chinese soldiers met them with their own bayonets - and with shovels and entrenchment tools being used like axes to decapitate the enemy, or to cleave gaping wounds on their throats. But up close and against Koreans armed with full automatic rifles, the Chinese were clearly at a disadvantage - especially when the Koreans started indiscriminately throwing stick-grenades into any trench and foxhole they could see, even those with Koreans and Chinese soldiers inside them fighting hand to hand. STRAK mortar teams closed in and used the short range to lob even more accurate mortar fire, decorating the trenches with equal parts Korean and Chinese bodyparts.

Image

To make things worse, a few T-34 tankskis rolled in and against masses armed with mere bolt-actions and machineguns, the fact that the armored vehicles were decades obsolete didn't even occur to the Chinese as they broke and ran for their lives.

They literally ran for the hills, for behind the initial trench-line was a fallback point. Manchuria was a hilly expanse of a wasteland and the Chinese factored that to their battleplans, using the advantages terrain could grant them in their fight against the oncoming Korean horde. They had rightly anticipated that trench warfare would eventually be broken, and in its place another form of grueling war of attrition would begin.

THE BIG BATTLE FOR HOOKER HOLE HILL

NORTHWESTERN JILLIN...
HILL #0192507 - a.k.a. Hooker Hole Hill.


Image

Sovereign China had fortified many of the hills that had been mapped and surveyed as defensive positions, giving them numeric designations while the soldiers who manned them gave them catchier names. Hill #0192507 was no exception and the homesick Sovereign soldiers affectionately dubbed it 'Hooker Hole Hill' to remind them of the comforts of the homes they missed so badly.

The fleeing Chinese soldiers took refuge in Hooker Hole Hill, or at least they tried to. They ran for their lives while the Korean tanskis and human waves nipped at their hills, and some made it - the ones who were the earliest birds, the first of the trenchers who decided to cut and run rather than stay the course and get stabbed in the face by a screaming Korean with a bayonet. The rest, those who were slower, were not so lucky. Some were run down by the human wave, others were run over by the advancing T-34 tankskis. More were mowed down as the Chinese soldiers on Hooker Hole Hill fired upon the incoming enemy, Vickers machineguns cutting both fleeing Chinaman and advancing Korean to itty bitty pieces while ex-Athenian now-Chinese Flak 88 guns started shooting at the incoming tanskis, blowing them up along with everyone around them.

Image

But the forces of the STRAK were not deterred, and the massed infantry horde bravely began clambering up Hooker Hole Hill in defiance of the Chinese's stand against them. The Chinese soldiers merely sat on their hill and opened fire.

Image

Vickers machineguns and MG-42s unleashed hell. The Vickers were water-cooled machineguns, but in the sub-zero temperatures liquid water did not take long to turn into solid water - ice. But the men of Hooker Hole Hill had come up with a solution to this, by ordering propane grills from Texan mail-order catalogues and using them as makeshift heaters. Sufficiently hydrated, the Vickers could go on for days of continuous unceasing firing while the gunners rotated in shifts, some sleeping, some shooting, others keeping the guns themselves hydrated with warm water and sufficiently fed with meters upon meters of bullet belts. Each gun was attended to by around a dozen men, all in all, and each gun killed dozens more in minutes.

Image

The hills slopes were also mined, some with incendiary and phosphorus, and the bright white flash of exploding Koreans created a blinding contrast while those who had been set on fire rolled on the ground, while those whose flesh burned from chemicals indistinguishable from white snow screamed as their skin seared.

The Korean advance withered and soon, the STRAK forces were the ones who were calling for reinforcements to take Hooker Hole Hill.

Image

Hundreds of remaining STRAK footsoldiers continued their attempt to slog up the hill. Snow, partly liquified from the burning incendiaries and flamethrowers and propane, mixed with the ground to produce a kind of thick mucky mud. Ironically, this happened in a day where the icy subzero weather had temporarily relented, and a warm front had made the temperature tolerable and allowed the snow to melt. This made the thick mix of muck and mud near impossible to traverse, it was wet and slippery, and each step seemed to suck the soldiers in like quicksand, and their attempts to crawl out of it and climb up the hill only furthered their exhaustion.

All while the Chinese continued their unrelenting hail of machinegun fire.

Image

All while the mud and the muck and the melting snow mixed with the dead, the recently deceased and the long-since decomposed and rotten, those that were relatively intact, and those that had been reduced to pieces that became ingredients in the mud the STRAK soldiers were crawling over.



Then, one day, the STRAK's reinforcements came. The tanks and fighter jets and bombers were still occupied with the other fronts, the other Chinese trenches and fortified hills and strongholds that were still too hard to dislodge. But the STRAK had an answer.

Image

The R-17 Elbrus, designated by the Athenians as the SS-1 Scud-B tactical ballistic missile. The ones used by the STRAK were armed with conventional warheads, with a single high explosive warhead, or a series of fragmentation payloads, using either high explosive, anti-tank or anti-runway munitions. The ones launched at the Hooker Hole Hill, and other Sovereign Chinese strongholds, carried multiple fragmentation payloads for maximum coverage, with high explosive munitions.

The only warning both Sovereign and STRAK soldiers received was the sonic boom of the multiple incoming missiles before the shower of submunitions descended upon both Chinese and Korean soldiers alike to unleash equal-opportunity detonations amidst the entire area-wide battlefield. Sovereign Chinese soldiers manning their machineguns or napping beside the ammunition boxes, and miserable STRAK soldier crawling in the corpse-filled mud puddles, all were engulfed in the explosions that blanketed Hooker Hole Hill and decimated everyone and everything everywhere within the general radius.

Image

Further STRAK reinforcements would come later and there they would witness the scene of devastation. To mark the Great Leader's great victory, they would plant the Korean flag at the very top of Hooker Hole Hill to celebrate the occasion.



Results:
Phyrric victory, war is awesome!
Actually, it's horrible!

P.S.

No, this is not escalation or anything. The frickin' Civil War in Afghanistan that happened after the Soviets pulled out and when the glorious USA-supported mujahadeen and woman-beating Taliban led by Osama bin Laden started ruining the legitimate Soviet-propped government (armed with Scuds!), and the conflict saw two thousand Scud launches.

Likewise with the Iran-Iraq War, and both conflicts are practically forgotten despite the fact that shitloads of tactical ballistic missiles were used then.

P.S. #2

Tell me if the images work or don't work!
Image

"Sometimes Shroomy I wonder if your imagination actually counts as some sort of war crime." - FROD
User avatar
Shroom Man 777
Global Mod
Posts: 4637
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 7:09 pm
Contact:

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Meanwhile...


Image

Antennae all over the globe prepared to receive a worldwide broadcast that would change history.

Image

It would be an ultimatum to all nations, great and small, in the seven continents of the world across the nine vectors of the Earth.

Image

It would be a message for all men, women and children. It was meant for all people from all places - of every race, creed and color, of every denomination and political alignment, of all shapes and sizes, forms, masses, densities, volumes, quantities and qualities.

Image

It was going to be a monumental event.

...but, what was it?
Image

"Sometimes Shroomy I wonder if your imagination actually counts as some sort of war crime." - FROD
User avatar
Shroom Man 777
Global Mod
Posts: 4637
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 7:09 pm
Contact:

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

NBC
Image
The National Broadcasting Company
A New Byzantium Corporation



Image

"My fellow citizens and people of the world, I - Emperor Norton I of New Byzantium – speak to you today in the name of truth, justice and peace for all of humanity. Today, I come before you not as an Emperor or as a leader of a nascent nation but as a humble citizen of New Byzantium, a fellow man in a world torn by strife and conflict. And I come bearing hope that there may be a chance at truth and reconciliation between my people and the peoples of those nations who have been wronged and harmed by the sins of our recent, unforgettable past.

So much has happened in these past few years, so many things have changed. Empires have fallen only to have new nations rise up in their wake, and great wars have been waged with little resolution but with great loss of life, meanwhile man has finally reached into the stars and we have discovered that we truly are not alone in the universe.

However, despite all this, not much has changed. Despite all this, we cannot forget our past and as much as we would want to be absolved, many can neither forget nor forgive us for what has happened, for what has been done unto them.

I speak of Athenia, Old Athenia. I speak of the many, many horrible things that have been committed in its name. I speak of the many wars and conflicts Athenia participated in, wars and conflicts it often instigated for its own designs. I speak of the myriad atrocities that have been done and cannot be undone. I speak of the shameful legacy left behind by Athenia, a legacy that haunts us to this day with its specter.

It is a legacy that taints not only New Byzantium and the Athenian successor states, but also many nations throughout the continents of the world. In Asia, Athenia occupied the nation of Japan and installed a decades-long regime openly admitted by former Athenian leaders to be a puppet regime, while in China Athenia prosecuted a war against a nation that in itself was teetering on the brink of madness and self-destruction, no doubt aggravating the conditions that would come post-Bo Cheng. In America itself, Athenia not only partook in the conflict in Rio and oppressed that broken nation, but also waged a brutal war against Texas that saw many cities such as Carson burned to the ground. These conflicts would culminate shortly thereafter in the great European-Athenian War, a war that would see countless thousands dead, with cities in Japan, Mexico, southern Athenia, and New York burned down to the ground by firebombing after firebombing. And as if that was not enough, Athenia quickly returned to the warpath, setting its sights to Africa and commencing the invasion of Shroomalia – and that final act of Athenian aggression saw the use of not one, but two forms of atrocity-weapons in the form of Wei-X and Tabris. The use of those atrocity-weapons was inevitably met with retribution in the form the nuclear attack on the carrier Eliphas by the forces of the Raj.

This, with the impeachment of Coleman and the undemocratic installation of Ascendian by the junta of military officers and noble houses, served as the spark that would light up the proverbial powder keg. The Ascendian regime only sought to continue what Slade and Coleman had began, and to protest this countless millions took to the streets all over Athenia’s cities to rally against the course the nation was taking. The Ascendian regime decided to take action against the anti-war peace protesters and the civil rights activists, but there were some of those in the military who countermanded these commands by refusing to fire on their own countrymen. When these military units moved to defend the rallying protesters from the loyalist units, it did not take long for the first shots to be fired and for Athenia enter a state of civil war.

And the rest, as they say, is history. Old Athenia is now fractured and separated into the three successor states of New Byzantium, New Athenia and the Empire of the Phoenix. New Athenia is an anarchic composition of city-states, greatest of which is Lost Vegas whereas the Empire of the Phoenix is the largest successor state, occupying the East Coast and harboring the Ascendian regime that rules still. Meanwhile, Japan has severed itself from the Athenian occupation, declaring an independence that we recognize. At the same time, rogue military units roam unchecked in the Asia-Pacific and the Athenian heartland, as they do to this day.

Though Old Athenia is gone, New Byzantium shares its inheritance with its fellow successor states. It is an inheritance that we cannot disavow, it is a burden we must bear until time has healed all wounds, if such a thing is even possible for us – and even then, healed wounds always remain in the form of jagged scars to serve as a constant reminder of past wrongs. And though we may hope for forgiveness and absolution, the world may not grant it and they are justified in doing so. We may not receive any such thing until we prove ourselves in the eyes of those who we have wronged to be deserving of such a thing.

To do so, we must remember – always remember – and never forget that though the wrongs of the past cannot be righted, but by glancing back at the sins of the past in remembrance of Old Athenia, we can hope to never repeat the same mistakes again. Through this we can ensure that we will never ever commit any more heinous acts against humanity, and we can ensure that the atrocities will finally end with Old Athenia’s demise.

To earn the hope of forgiveness and the chance at reconciliation, that must be New Byzantium’s promise a world without Athenia.

WHEREAS: New Byzantium shall declare its formal neutrality in regards to global affairs, and its official isolation and intent to maintain cordial relations with all nations great and small while avoiding any conflict with any foreign power unless necessitated by self-defense.

WHEREAS: New Byzantium shall transform its military into a force solely dedicated to the defense of the nation, with a marked reduction of offensive capabilities not necessitated by self-defense.

WHEREAS: New Byzantium shall initiate a series of sweeping social changes in its society through the lengthy process of De-Atheniafication and through the installment of Truth and Reconciliation Commissions. Foreign nations, particularly those wronged by Old Athenia, are invited to take part in the De-Atheniafication and the Truth Commissions.

Gentlemen, this is the price of the liberty we’ve won for ourselves: New Byzantium. Free from Old Athenia, free from their regime, free from their control. Our hearts and minds, our people and conscience, free from their prisons. This is the Byzantium we must create and protect.


-Emperor Norton I
Image

"Sometimes Shroomy I wonder if your imagination actually counts as some sort of war crime." - FROD
User avatar
Shady
Posts: 117
Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2009 11:30 pm
Location: Sarajevo

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Shady »

ABOUT ANONYMOUS ALLIANCES

Palace of the Soviets
Moscow, USSR

Image

Josip Broz Tito had patiently waited until the conversation between Shroomanski and Ire had ended, or at least it seemed to have ended - before he began to speak. Tito was a man of few words, he always went directly to the matter at hand. No beating around the bushes.

"Comrade Shroomanski." President for Life Tito began. "It is my belief that our two countries have much in common, not only in the matters of ideology, but other things as well. Our nations both share a desire to explore space, the final frontier, and although your nation has advanced substantially more in that are, I would like to propose a collaboration between us - on future projects. We do after all, have the same goal."

Josip Broz Tito paused for a moment, and took a sip of his water, before continuing.

"I would like to thank you for making this meeting possible, thanks to your generosity Comrade Ire and I have managed to work out a deal, that is more than favorable for our two nations, and promises much prosperity for our future."

He smiled.

"There are also matters of trade and commerce, that I would like to discuss with you. I am sure we share the same interests of peace and prosperity Comrade. I hope we can work together on many things. What say you?"
It Is Better To Reign In Hell Than To Serve In Heaven!
User avatar
Czernobog
Posts: 1315
Joined: Thu May 22, 2008 9:27 am
Location: Holy Terra

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Czernobog »

Superbia, Empire of the Phoenix

Daimones II Eliphas, Lord Commander and son of the Eliphas who had fought in the War of Spanish Aggression, was tired of this. Lord Commander Bradley was with him, and the AIS had discovered some most disturbing things about New Athenia. Whispers of 'Newspeak' and 'Athenian Socialism', of a 'Thought Police' that hunted down dissenters and made them disappear. Worse, the New Athenian government was in possession of terrible weapons, Wei-X and worse. Kairos had defected to the Empire of the Phoenix, but it was rumoured that the New Athenian government was still working on the Herald.

These whispers had reached the outside world as well, and might hamper the Empire's attempt to join the Quadruple Alliance.

Something needed to be done, or at the least, the illusion needed to be given.

War was the only answer.
You have ruled this galaxy for ten thousand years.
You have little of account to show for your efforts.
Order. Unity. Obedience.
We taught the galaxy these things.

And we shall do so again.
User avatar
Shroom Man 777
Global Mod
Posts: 4637
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 7:09 pm
Contact:

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

ABOUT ANONYMOUS ALLIANCES
IN GODDAMN UNREAL TIME

Palace of the Soviets
Moscow, USSR

Image

Premier Shroomanski smiled, he smiled a Soviet Socialist Shroomanski Smile.
Tito wrote:"Comrade Shroomanski." President for Life Tito began. "It is my belief that our two countries have much in common, not only in the matters of ideology, but other things as well. Our nations both share a desire to explore space, the final frontier, and although your nation has advanced substantially more in that are, I would like to propose a collaboration between us - on future projects. We do after all, have the same goal."
"Comrade Tito," Premier Shroomanski replied, deciding that he liked the Yugoslavian Premier after all. "I see you are certainly not one to beat around the bush."

"Nyet, Comrade Shroomanski. I like to cut to the chase and be forthright," the President for Life replied and smiled slyly at his common communist counterpart. "I find it more convenient for all parties and communist parties involved that way."

"I agree with that sentiment. Very well then, on to business." Premier Shroomanski nodded. "The Soviet Union certainly recognizes Yugoslavia's advances in rocketry technology. While we have had a head start, your nation has made great progress in its own space program as well and certainly, collaboration on future projects is not out of the picture and is very possible. With our nations' proximity, relatively cordial relations and ideological compatibility it will not be difficult to convince my fellow countrymen to a partnership with Yugoslavia. Da, comrade.

"Most unfortunately, the same cannot be said for a potential joint Texan-Soviet attempt at space because both recent history and current events are making things... complicated, I'm sorry to say. But nonetheless, Prime Minister Ire, we can still hope for many joint ventures in trade and commerce and in friendlier relations with one another. For you Texans, any business is good business, da?"
Josip Broz Tito paused for a moment, and took a sip of his water, before continuing.

"I would like to thank you for making this meeting possible, thanks to your generosity Comrade Ire and I have managed to work out a deal, that is more than favorable for our two nations, and promises much prosperity for our future."
"Of course, it is an honor to host both you and Prime Minister Ire. The fact that three world leaders can gather here in Moscow to discuss a great variety of things, none of which involve any conflict whatsoever but involve great goals such as friendship, science and trade shows that the world is entering a new era of peace," Premier Shroomanski raised a shot glass of vodka in an impromptu toast. "Da, comrades!"

"Da, comrades!" Tito and Ire both declared in unison, and the three men downed their vodkas.

A KGB man walked to Shroomanski and whispered something to his ear. Micheal Ire, who was accustomed to having his Federals do the same to him when bad news was afoot, noticed this and felt...

"Gentlemen!" Shroomanski bellowed boisterously. "While the hectic schedule of our tri-party meeting has precluded any big ceremony to greet you upon landing, I have been informed that much festivities and fanfare has been arranged to entertain us when we have finished here!"
He smiled.

"There are also matters of trade and commerce, that I would like to discuss with you. I am sure we share the same interests of peace and prosperity Comrade. I hope we can work together on many things. What say you?"
"Da, comrade. Trade, peace and prosperity. For one, the Soviet Union is planning to make the Trans-Siberian Railway more available to the rest of Europe and we can begin by connecting to Yugoslavia as a first step. With the Trans-Siberian Railway, you can access the Far East, Mongolia, China and the Sea of Japan. And, of course, the Soviet Union is a prime exporter of things coal, natural gas and oil and we can always reach a deal in regards to this."

Premier Shroomanski steepled his fingers and leaned back on his chair to relax. Then another KGB man came and whispered something to the Premier's ear, and suddenly his relaxed posture suddenly became very much un-relaxed.

"Comrades," he said to his guests as the KGB man disappeared away from sight. "It seems that in the midst of our deliberations, another war has sprung up."
Image

"Sometimes Shroomy I wonder if your imagination actually counts as some sort of war crime." - FROD
User avatar
Czernobog
Posts: 1315
Joined: Thu May 22, 2008 9:27 am
Location: Holy Terra

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Czernobog »

Palace of the Soviets, Moscow

Moscow was a beautiful if cold place, thought the Phoenix ambassador. The Palace of the Soviets, with its architecture, reminded him of Superbia.

He walked over to the Soviet representative, rather tired of all this walking.

'The Empire of the Phoenix,' he said, clearing his throat. 'Desires an alliance with the Soviet Union. Furthermore, we wish that a non-aggression pact be declared between the two great powers, and that an equitable and fair free trade agreement is made between us. Athenia is no more, although we bear its memory. Thus, any claims that we cannot join an alliance with you based on the legacy of that state is invalid. What do you say?'

New Athenia

Commander Ozai (he had long since ditched the 'Lord' part), head of the Ministry of Peace, grinned as he considered his options. The Empire of the Phoenix was massing troops on the border, and his plans required their removal. It was thus that he made his decision.

He was going to attack them.

The order to advance came three hours later.
You have ruled this galaxy for ten thousand years.
You have little of account to show for your efforts.
Order. Unity. Obedience.
We taught the galaxy these things.

And we shall do so again.
User avatar
Shroom Man 777
Global Mod
Posts: 4637
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 7:09 pm
Contact:

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Shroompelson Air Force Base, New Byzantium

WHORES WHORES WHORES

Image

Sirens, alarms, claxons and red lights blared throughout Shroompelson AFB as the airmen of New Byzantium's new Byzantine Airborne Reaction Force (BARF) answered to the telltale warning of 'WHORES' - the BARF code word to scramble all men to their battle stations. The word 'WHORES' was chosen because it caught the attention, and as the alarms went WHORES WHORES WHORES certainly the attention of the BARF airmen were caught quite well.

"NOW HEAR THIS. NOW HEAR THIS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ALL MEN TO THEIR ACTION STATIONS. ALL MEN TO THEIR ACTION STATIONS. SCRAMBLE ALL AIRCRAFT. SCRAMBLE ALL AIRCRAFT. BOMBERS LIFT OFF. BOMBERS LIFT OFF. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. WHORES WHORES WHORES"

"What the flying fuck is going on?! Jeebus Titty-Fucking Christoes did someone declare Whore War 3?!" Major P.J. "Kring" Krong cursed as he scrambled out of the hangar and clambered into his aircraft, the B-47 Shroomtojet. Major Krong was the bomber's commander and pilot, although before the Athenian Civil War he was training to fly the newer B-52 Shroomtofortress now he was stuck with the older Shroomtojet.

During the Civil War though, the Ascendian loyalists who dominated the Air Force had sabotaged the Shroomtofortresses stationed in the states that were in open rebellion, states that would become New Byzantium to prevent the revolutionaries from getting the planes. With most of the B-52s in New Byzantium ruined, that meant that New Byzantium's new BARF had to resort to the older but still servicable B-47 Shroomtojets. Because most of the Air Force had turned Phoenix, then-Lieutenant Krong had quickly been promoted to Major for not siding with the Athenian Grinning Ascendianists. Because most of the Air Force had turned Phoenix, New Byzantium was mostly left with the Byzantine Air National Guard (BANG). It didn't take long for BANG to be converted to BARF.

And now, Major Krong was here and now. Though the Athenian Civil War had happened so recently, so much had past since then...

He settled himself into the cockpit while his fellow crewmates reported in their stations. They prepared to take off.

"Kring Krong, do you copy? This is Group Captain Shroomdrake."

"Copy, Group Captain. Mind telling me whats going on?"

"We've got Ascendianist Phoenix forces massing near New Athenia and it looks like they're getting ready to go in, and likewise the New Athenian forces are getting ready for a fight. We want you and the rest of the BARF to get up and get ready."

"Ready for what?" asked one of the crewmates, it was Lieutenant Zorg.

"Ready in case if this whole mess between Phoenix and New Athenia spills over this way. Just in case."

"Gotcha, Group Captain." Major Krong acknowledged. So much had passed since the Athenian Civil War, but now it looked like things had finally come full circle. It looked like the Ascendianists over at Phoenix were going to have another go, round two. "Preflights are all done?"

"All done," co-pilot Captain "Vase" Bowens acknowledged. "We're armed and we're fueled, ready for take off."

"Alright," Major Krong inhaled deeply and breathed out. "Ladies and gentlemen of Shroomtojet Super Shroomer Shroomprise... Let's. Punch. This. Shit!"

He turned on the ignition...

Image

... and the Rocket-Assisted Take Off (RATO) kicked in and the B-47 Shroomtojets soared to the air with acrid contrails of smoke and fire. Not too shortly after it, even more Shroomtojets took off right behind it - emerging from the wall of smoke and fire to take to the skies.

When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
We'll give him a hearty welcome then
Hurrah! Hurrah!
The men will cheer and the boys will shout
The ladies they will all turn out
And we'll all feel gay,
When Johnny comes marching home.

The old church bell will peal with joy
Hurrah! Hurrah!
To welcome home our darling boy
Hurrah! Hurrah!
The village lads and lassies say
With roses they will strew the way,
And we'll all feel gay
When Johnny comes marching home.

Get ready for the Jubilee,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
We'll give the hero three times three,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
The laurel wreath is ready now
To place upon his loyal brow
And we'll all feel gay
When Johnny comes marching home.


In BARF airfields all over New Byzantium, combat aircraft scrambled into the sky with their payloads, most of them carrying conventional ordnances while others carried part of the remaining half of New Byzantium's atomic weapons. Likewise, ground forces were on high alert as well.

Their destination would be the borders, where the BARF aircraft would go to their failsafe points, to the edge of New Byzantium airspace where if war was declared on Byzantium the bombers and their fighter escorts could advance upon the enemy - whoever he was - with but a single order from BARF command.

Likewise, New Byzantium's ground forces too began moving to the borders. But the BARF, in well-practiced precision, were already in the air trailing rocketfire in the sky.

Image
Image

"Sometimes Shroomy I wonder if your imagination actually counts as some sort of war crime." - FROD
User avatar
Czernobog
Posts: 1315
Joined: Thu May 22, 2008 9:27 am
Location: Holy Terra

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Czernobog »

From: The Empire of the Phoenix

To: New Byzantium


Let it be clear that we have no intentions on your territory or nation, but in the face of aggression by New Athenia we must, unfortunately, respond in kind. We have no intentions on you other than peace and non-hostility, and will not attack you. This we swear. Furthermore, after discovering information about New Athenia (which will shortly be relayed to you shortly) we humbly ask that you do not attack us, and be neutral in this unfortunate war.
You have ruled this galaxy for ten thousand years.
You have little of account to show for your efforts.
Order. Unity. Obedience.
We taught the galaxy these things.

And we shall do so again.
User avatar
Shroom Man 777
Global Mod
Posts: 4637
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 7:09 pm
Contact:

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Kamin997 wrote:Palace of the Soviets, Moscow

Moscow was a beautiful if cold place, thought the Phoenix ambassador. The Palace of the Soviets, with its architecture, reminded him of Superbia.

He walked over to the Soviet representative, rather tired of all this walking.

'The Empire of the Phoenix,' he said, clearing his throat. 'Desires an alliance with the Soviet Union. Furthermore, we wish that a non-aggression pact be declared between the two great powers, and that an equitable and fair free trade agreement is made between us. Athenia is no more, although we bear its memory. Thus, any claims that we cannot join an alliance with you based on the legacy of that state is invalid. What do you say?'
Image

Anastas Zikoyan faced the anonymous Phoenix ambassador with a frosty gaze as he sized him up from head to toe.

"Athenia is no more, and the entire world is the better for it," the Armenian Old Bolshevik and Soviet statesman said. "However, the Empire of the Phoenix, of all the successor states, is one that has the most direct line of inheritance - with the King of Old Athenia reigning still, along with Ascendian. At the moment, an alliance between the Soviet Union and the Empire of the Phoenix - or any Athenian successor state - is not feasible due to the political situation and other considerations. But -"

"But..." the Phoenix Ambassador uttered, cutting Zikoyan off, but Zikoyan cut him off in return.

"But a non-aggression pact between our nations is certainly agreeable, as is the opening of trade between the Soviet Union and the Empire of Phoenix. Both of these would be beneficial to the Empire of the Phoenix, as beneficial as any alliance." Zikoyan continued. "In return, we only ask of your Empire to recognize the Revolutionary Republic of Red Rio as a sovereign state and independent nation."

Image

The Phoenix Ambassador gave it a moment's thought.
Last edited by Shroom Man 777 on Wed Oct 21, 2009 7:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Image

"Sometimes Shroomy I wonder if your imagination actually counts as some sort of war crime." - FROD
User avatar
Czernobog
Posts: 1315
Joined: Thu May 22, 2008 9:27 am
Location: Holy Terra

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Czernobog »

Shroom Man 777 wrote:
Kamin997 wrote:Palace of the Soviets, Moscow

Moscow was a beautiful if cold place, thought the Phoenix ambassador. The Palace of the Soviets, with its architecture, reminded him of Superbia.

He walked over to the Soviet representative, rather tired of all this walking.

'The Empire of the Phoenix,' he said, clearing his throat. 'Desires an alliance with the Soviet Union. Furthermore, we wish that a non-aggression pact be declared between the two great powers, and that an equitable and fair free trade agreement is made between us. Athenia is no more, although we bear its memory. Thus, any claims that we cannot join an alliance with you based on the legacy of that state is invalid. What do you say?'
Image

Anastas Zikoyan faced the anonymous Phoenix ambassador with a frosty gaze as he sized him up from head to toe.

"Athenia is no more, and the entire world is the better for it," the Armenian Old Bolshevik and Soviet statesman said. "However, the Empire of the Phoenix, of all the successor states, is one that has the most direct line of inheritance - with the King of Old Athenia reigning still, along with Ascendian. At the moment, an alliance between the Soviet Union and the Empire of the Phoenix - or any Athenian successor state - is not feasible due to the political situation and other considerations. But -"

"But..." the Phoenix Ambassador uttered, cutting Zikoyan off, but Zikoyan cut him off in return.

"But a non-aggression pact between our nations is certainly agreeable, as is the opening of trade between the Soviet Union and the Empire of Phoenix. Both of these would be beneficial to the Empire of the Phoenix, as beneficial as any alliance." Zikoyan continued. "In return, we only ask of your Empire to recognize the Revolutionary Republic of Red Rio as a sovereign state and independent nation."
'We recognise the nation of Rio as a sovereign state,' the Phoenix ambassador stated calmly. 'In return, we ask for free trade and a non-aggression pact.'
You have ruled this galaxy for ten thousand years.
You have little of account to show for your efforts.
Order. Unity. Obedience.
We taught the galaxy these things.

And we shall do so again.
User avatar
Shroom Man 777
Global Mod
Posts: 4637
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 7:09 pm
Contact:

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Kamin997 wrote:Palace of the Soviets, Moscow

'We recognise the nation of Rio as a sovereign state,' the Phoenix ambassador stated calmly. 'In return, we ask for free trade and a non-aggression pact.'
Image

"Very good, comrade Phoenix Ambassador," Anastas Zikoyan said, taking his glasses off with a hand. "The Soviet Union will sign a non-aggression pact and will open trade with the Empire of the Phoenix, in return for the Empire of the Phoenix' recognition of Rio as a sovereign state and independent nation."

"Excellent!" the Phoenix Ambassador nearly yelled with delight, which startled his Soviet counterpart. This was a monumental achievement in Athenian and/or post-Athenian diplomacy, a great feat that even the very sexy Adele Daniels had not been able to perform despite her feminine charms and wiles. The Phoenix Ambassador could barely suppress an Athenian Grin... for this great feat they would build statues in his honor back in Superbia!

"Indeed," Anastas Zikoyan raised an eyebrow at the sight of the gleeful Phoenix Ambassador. "Let us shake on it, da?"

Image
Image

"Sometimes Shroomy I wonder if your imagination actually counts as some sort of war crime." - FROD
User avatar
Heretic
Posts: 1750
Joined: Wed May 21, 2008 4:45 pm
Location: IN AMERICA

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Heretic »

The Kremlin, Moscow

Unreal Time, Mangs.
"Da, comrade. Trade, peace and prosperity. For one, the Soviet Union is planning to make the Trans-Siberian Railway more available to the rest of Europe and we can begin by connecting to Yugoslavia as a first step. With the Trans-Siberian Railway, you can access the Far East, Mongolia, China and the Sea of Japan. And, of course, the Soviet Union is a prime exporter of things coal, natural gas and oil and we can always reach a deal in regards to this."
"Well, let's hope the Railway survives in the Manchuria border zone." Ire mumbled. Damnit, he thought. Damn that Bo Jin Cheng wananbe! He had to spoil it all for everyone and go back meddling with mud huts and gangsters. It almost feels like the Shanghai incident again.
"Most unfortunately, the same cannot be said for a potential joint Texan-Soviet attempt at space because both recent history and current events are making things... complicated, I'm sorry to say. But nonetheless, Prime Minister Ire, we can still hope for many joint ventures in trade and commerce and in friendlier relations with one another. For you Texans, any business is good business, da?"
"Da, Comrade Premier. The Common Corporate Capitalist nation of Texas always loves business!" Ire joked as he gulped his vodka. Damnit, he thought. I'm turning Russian already.


In Dallas, Texas

The crowd was in an uproar. The ancient Victorian government building was donned with banners stating "Ire=Communist!" and ""Death to the Commie Traitor called Ire!". Miniature flags of the Texan Republic waved violently. And on the podium was a thick man with a black hair. He was in a suit.

"The fate of the world rests with the clash between the atheism of Moscow and the Christian spirit throughout other parts of the world!" The crowd cheered and booed at the same time. "Even as we speak, the traitor named Michael Ire is carousing with communists and I have proof that 204 officials of the State Department are communists!" He waved a piece of paper. The crowd howled in fury. "Unite, Texans, and let us overthrow the communist fifth column out of Texas and help our New Phoenix allies against the socialist New Athenia! Hail Texas!"

"Hail Texas! Hail Texas!" The crowd cheered as Joseph Mccarthy sat down. The Wisconsin nobleman gave an Athenian smile to the cameras.

http://i.cdn.turner.com/trutv/trutv.com ... Carthy.jpg

And the Federal Agents just watched, but as they watched, they secretly communicated to each other until the long chain went to a single morse code typer, who clicked away to the agent at Moscow.


The Kremlin, Moscow, USSR, 1400 hours

"Houston, we have a problem." An agent said as he walked up to the Prime Minister who was a little dazed with vodka.

"Whut?" Michael ire said. "We got a war going on, I know." The agent shook his head and whispered something into Ire's ear. A shocked look came into Ire's face as he looked at the two communist leaders. He stood up and nodded to the Agent.

"I'm terribly sorry, comrades, but internal issues has arisen that requires my full attention. So pardon me for leaving prematurely." Ire had a grim look on his face. He grabbed the vodka bottle in front of him, and after bidding farewell, left with his troupe of Federal Agents.
Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
-Joseph Campbell
User avatar
Siege
Site Admin
Posts: 2563
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 7:03 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Siege »

The Maharajah

The brooding presence of the Maharajah dominated the magnificent throne room, just like the great alabaster palace itself dominated the skyline of Calcutta. Likewise, the thoughts of that most imperious ruler in all of Asia mirrorred the thousand rooms of the palace. Each reflected an aspect of the Maharajah himself; peaceful or warlike, benefactor or conqueror, velvet handshake or mailed fist.

At this moment of time, the thoughts of Jaghathai Singh Bahadur revolved inexorably around Athenia, like the coalescing clouds of a gathering storm. His eyes were fixed on the great mural that depicted all the lands in the world; at the very center of the world, the Raj, all its 78 great Cantons represented with their coats of arms. Surrounding them, the territories that bordered the Raj, many of which were tributaries whose petty rulers quaked with fear at the thought of invoking the wrath of the Lion Throne -- as was proper and just.

Then, spiralling further outward, some of the other Great Powers that contended with the awesome power of the Raj: Oceania to the south, insular and benign to the point of folly; France, guardedly neutral; and Soviet Russia, a nation that purposefully marshalled its resources in a way the Maharajah couldn't help but respect.

And then, finally, at the utmost fringes of the mural, on the very edge of the world, the continent of Athenia. A source of so much annoyance, so much instability. Again his confidantes told him there was war brewing in those lands, between two of the rump states that now littered the continent.

The Maharajah shifted on his great golden throne and pensively rubbed his cheeks. His first thought had been to order the would-be adversaries levelled, simply to be finally rid of the source of international instability. But now, he thought, he would not. Instead, he would wait and see how the situation developed. If the Athenians - for that was still what the Maharajah believed they were, even though they had rebranded themselves - wanted to fight amongst themselves like a pathetic tribe of looter monkeys, then he would gladly watch them do so... After all, it wasn't often that world politics provided so rich a source of amusement.

And so, rather than bombers there would be spy planes taking off from airfields across the Raj that day, high-flying incredibly fast aircraft that would keep close watch as the Athenian events unfolded.
"Nick Fury. Old-school cold warrior. The original black ops hardcase. Long before I stepped off a C-130 at Da Nang, Fury and his team had set fire to half of Asia." - Frank Castle

For, now De Ruyter's topsails
Off naked Chatham show,
We dare not meet him with our fleet -
And this the Dutchmen know!
User avatar
Shroom Man 777
Global Mod
Posts: 4637
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 7:09 pm
Contact:

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

BIG BOLSHEVIK BUSINESS BOOM

Backbroke Bunyan, Marlboro Country, Texas 8-)

Image

"Mooo!" the cattle cow-bulls went as the cattle drivers cattle drove the cattle, driving them towards some faraway destination. Whips cracked, horses neighed, and unruly bulls were reigned in by lassos. "Moo!"

Image

"Yeehaw!" one of the cow-pokes hollered. "Ride 'em cowboy!"

"Heh, sure beats being a rodeo clown, eh Bubba Joe?"

"Damn straight, Jim Bob. Great out doors and these fancy new cigarettes, makes me feel like a real man's man. A Marlboro's Man!"

"But Bubba, don't the Surgeon General say that smoking can be dangerous for yer health?"

"To hell with the Surgeon General, Jim Bob. The Surgeon General works for the guv'mint, and the guv'mint works for Micheal Ire and that means they're commies."

"Damn straight, Bubba Joe. Now hand me one of those fags, why dontcha?"

Image

"Sure thing, Jim Bob. Hold my lasso for me while I get me some fags for ya."

"Thanks, Bubba Joe."

"Here, let me light that cigarette fer ya. There we go, boy."

"Golly, Bubba Joe, this fag sure is real good, mang. It tastes like tobacco with a whole lot of tequila or some other kinda moonshine!"

"Damn right, this cigarette's alcohol-fueled, boy! Yessiree!"

"Yeehaw!"

"Say, Jim Bob, do ya know where we're shipping these cattle to?"

Image

"Yep, Bubba Joe, I sure do and you sure ain't gonna believe it!"

"Gosh darn it, Jim Bob, you better sure tell me who our moo-moo cows and horny bulls are being sent to, cause now I'm as curious as hell!"

"We're sending them to Soviet Russia, Bubba Joe."

"Golly, Soviet Russia? To the commies?"

"To the commies, Bubba Joe. To the commies."

"On snap! This means we ain't gonna get paid, are we? Them commies don't believe in money or nuthin', just like Micheal Ire."

"No, Bubba Joe. The commies are actually gonna pay us a whole good load of cash for this, Bubba Joe, that's why I took this job. Hell, the Russkies are buying cattle from all the other farmers too. Gumbo sold his first and now he's gotten enough dineroes to buy himself a new tractor."

"I sure do want a new tractor, Jim Bob."

"Then let's sell our cattle-cows, Bubba Joe. Don't matter if we sell to them commies or if we sell to them Athenians, as long as we get the monies then it's good business, am i rite?"

"You're right, Jim Bob. But I still don't like it. I lost my brother Timmy O'Toole in China."

"But Bubba Joe, you lost your other brother Tooly Tim and your mother and your pappy and your doggie when the Athenians burned Carson City to the ground."

"True enough, Jim Bob. I never got to find my wife after Carson City... dunno whatever happened to her, Jim Bob. Still, that didn't stop me from buying a Mail Ordered Athenian Wife. And what were we doing over at China, anyway?"

"Dunno. How's the wifey, anyway?"

"She's okay, Jim Bob. But..."

"But...?"

"I just don't like the way she keeps on... grinning. All the time, when she's making breakfast, when she's tucking in the kids, when I'm humping her in bed... it's mighty queer, I'll tell you that."

"Well, you might want to replace your Mail Ordered Athenian Wife, Bubba Joe."

"How? I don't have the darned money to mail her back to New Byzantium."

"Well, if we get good cash from selling our cows to the Russkies, maybe you can get enough money to FedEx her back? Maybe you can return her to sender and get a brochure and get her replaced with two new Mail Ordered Athenian Wives?"

Image

"Aw shucks, Jim Bob, I never thought of it that way. Gee whiz, that sure sounds like a good idea. Who'da thunk that them Russkies might be the answer to all my problems?"

"Maybe we can be a little commie too, Bubba Joe. If you'd, like, share one of those Mail Ordered Athenian Wives you're gonna buy and lemme try 'em on for size."

"Sure thing, Jim Bob. Hey, want another smoke?"

"Yeah. Hey, what's this new fag called anyway?"

"The carton says that it's a 'vodka cigarette'. Why? Like it, Jim Bob?"

"Yeah, it sure taste's great, I'm gonna buy some more and I'll make sure to smoke six packs a day."

"Alright, Jim Bob. That Surgeon General can go hump a cactus for all I care."

"Yeah, and that's probably gonna be dangerous for his health too, Bubba Joe."

Image

The cowboys laughed and after exchanging a little more banter, they herded their cows and rode off into the sunset to collect their paycheck.

"Yeehaw! Ride 'em cowboy!"


Later, after Jim Bob and Bubba Joe collected their paycheck...
Dear Sirs,

I would like to return my Mail Ordered Athenian Wife due to a factory defect. The defect I speak of is her inability to cease grinning in a most disturbing fashion, an inability that I have found to be most unnerving and disturbing. Likewise, my kids - whose momma, my wife, probably died when the Athenians burned Carson City to the ground - have also told me that they get nightmares after their new mommy tucks them to bed while grinning and flashing her teeth at them in the dark.

In light of this, I am no longer sleeping in the same room with my Mail Ordered Athenian Wife and neither am I letting her anywhere near the kids. Now she is sleeping in the shed and the only chores she does is to work the bulls, because the Russians are paying good price for frozen semen from Texan bulls. In this respect, my Mail Ordered Athenian Wife has proven herself to have rather skilled hands, no doubt due to her time in working at an Athenian Bomb Factory back when she was conscripted in the European-Athenian War. Her skilled hands work my bulls very good.

Nevertheless, skilled hands and bull-working notwithstanding, I would like to return my Mail Ordered Athenian Wife. I find her constant grinning and excessive domicile subservitude entirely too much to bear, and either way I can worm my own bulls with my own hands to collect bull semen which I will then refrigerate before serving chilled to the Russkies.

I have the monies needed to mail my Mail Ordered Athenian Wife back to your good establishment, and more monies that I can use to purchase a replacement Mail Ordered Athenian Wife. Perhaps I may even purchase two Mail Ordered Athenian Wives, so that I can share the other one with my best friend.

After I return my Mail Ordered Athenian Wife, I would like to obtain a catalogue and/or a brochure for your latest models of Mail Ordered Athenian Wives so that I can make my next purchase without difficulty. Please send it to me as soon as possible for I can no longer stand my Mail Ordered Athenian Wife's grinning and I think that in her bull-working, the bulls are learning to grin like her as well.

Best regards,
Bubba Joe Joe-Joe

Much later...

Bubba Joe Joe-Joe received his new Mail Ordered Athenian Wives. Mail Ordered Athenian Wives were affordable because, aside from earning much monies from selling semen to the Soviets which made Bubba Joe prosperous, the Mail Ordered Athenian Wives themselves were desperately wanting to leave their wartorn countries to find a better life in the relatively saner nation of Texas. After the Athenian Civil War, there was an overabundance of Athenian women - both young and old - just vying to flee to the Lone Star State.

Bubba Joe Joe-Joe did not just get new Mail ordered Athenian Wives, which he so generously shared to Jim Bob. In his prosperity, Bubba Joe Joe-Joe also bought his beloved children wonderful toys so that they could be happy, and so that they could be distracted away from the eerie grins of their two new mommies.

Image

It took Bubba Joe Joe-Joe a while to figure out the cyrillic alphabet of the Soviet communist children's catalogue, but once he figured out that they were selling toy tanks and once his kids found out the same, he simply could not resist buying the toys for his kids. It was either that or his kids would just not stop whining about the 'Toy Tankskis'.

Meanwhile, Bubba Joe Joe-Joe had finally stopped smoking vodka cigarettes. He got tired of the tobacco and instead, he moved on to another vice. He decided to leave the cigarettes for more vodka.

Image


RESULT:
Trade with Russia offers more opportunities for Texans who are lacking in business partners!

Local Texan tobacco companies and breweries are able to license the local production of vodka cigarettes and plain vodka, gives jobs to many and introduces awesome new addictive awesome substances to Texas!

Toy tanks for all warfreak children!

EAT THAT JOE MCCARTHY!

:mrgreen:
Image

"Sometimes Shroomy I wonder if your imagination actually counts as some sort of war crime." - FROD
User avatar
Shroom Man 777
Global Mod
Posts: 4637
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 7:09 pm
Contact:

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

NBC
Image
The National Broadcasting Company
A New Byzantium Corporation


ROYAL REBUKE REGARDING RETARDED REGIONAL RUMBLES

Image

WHEREAS: In the name of New Byzantium and its royal subjects, Emperor Norton I of New Byzantium rebukes and chastizes both the nations of the Empire of the Phoenix and New Athenia for their recent actions. Military movements of both nations suggest imminent conflict and as a response, New Byzantium has likewise posted the entirety of its defense forces on maximum readiness and heightened alert.

WHEREAS: In the name of New Byzantium and its royal subjects, Emperor Norton I of New Byzantium commands both the nations of the Empire of the Phoenix and New Athenia to stand down all their military forces and draw back troops massed on their borders before imminent war breaks out, and to immediately commence negotiations to defuse the current volatile situation.

WHEREAS: In the name of New Byzantium and its royal subjects, Emperor Nortin I of New Byzantium has dispatched an official proclamation and message to the leaders of both the Empire of the Phoenix and New Athenia. Said message contains a screed and a treatise on the unwiseness of both Phoenix and New Athenia's current course of action - explaining simply and expounding on why a conflict between any of Athenia's successor states would be ill-advised. Part of the treatise elaborates on the fact that all the Athenian successor states are nuclear-armed nations, noting that due to its position bordering both Mexico and Texas (nations that previously warred with Athenia) a significant portion of Old Athenia's strategic and tactical stockpiles are located in the states that currently compose New Athenia, which did inherit these stockpiles. Thus, in any conflict between nuclear powers escalation would be inevitable and the result of escalation would be thermonuclear war.
Image

"Sometimes Shroomy I wonder if your imagination actually counts as some sort of war crime." - FROD
User avatar
Shroom Man 777
Global Mod
Posts: 4637
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 7:09 pm
Contact:

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

NEW ATHENIAN MINITRUE BROADCAST

Image

MAIN TELESCREEN TURN ON

"The brave forces of New Athenia have moved and advanced to the borders of our great nation and there they will assume their defensive positions to valiantly stand against the massed hordes of the Phoenix dogs and to bring ruination upon any Phoenix attempt at annexation. The Empire of the Phoenix has began a massive build-up of troops near its borders, the obvious prelude to an invasion by the warmongering Ascendianists who have never learned from the horrible mistakes of the past. But like all the horrible things that has occured to the past, the second they dare step into New Athenian ground they will be beset upon by our gallant soldiers who will make the red Arizona soil even redder with blood! Blood spilled from their breasts, which will bleed blood that will spill into the red Arizona soil, further reddering it with blood! The Phoenix foes will commit suicide by the gates of New Athenia, for should war break out then their suffering will be great and horrible indeed that a healthy swallowing of gun will be the prefered alternative! By the gods, their warwhoremongering ways shall face retribution at the hands of our arsenal of vengeance and they will soon find themselves on the path of destruction and will have to make their time!

"Empire of the Phoenix beware, should you cross that line in the New Athenian sand then ruination like no other shall descend upon you. Through constant conflict and waging war, Old Athenia has ceased to exist. Should war break out once more, you will meet the same fate. Your 'empire' will be dashed upon the stone and shattered into three even more feeble fragments and they too shall be dashed upon the stone, each shattering to three even more feeble fragments, for a total of nine feeblest fragments and we will step on them like ants and they will be squished and will leave foul stains on the ground, only to be swept clean by a broom like Old Athenia and consigned to the dustbin of doom - and upon this dustbin we shall ruinate and shower you with our golden glory of victory!"
Last edited by Shroom Man 777 on Fri Oct 23, 2009 4:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Image

"Sometimes Shroomy I wonder if your imagination actually counts as some sort of war crime." - FROD
User avatar
Czernobog
Posts: 1315
Joined: Thu May 22, 2008 9:27 am
Location: Holy Terra

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Czernobog »

Superbia

Lord Commander Bradley sighed. Emperor Norton's command was tired and foolish. New Athenia had no capability (as far as he knew) to attack the heartland, much less with nuclear weapons. New Athenia knew that any nuclear attacks would result in its complete annihilation - they may be evil, but they weren't stupid.

No, his goal was to co-ordinate Operation Firebird, the liberation of New Athenia.

It would be long and hard, Bradley knew, but it would be worth it. He just needed to wait for them to attack...

Border with Texas

The Russian smiled, insanity in his beady eyes. Soon he would be rich and renowned throughout Texas, for his delivery of mail-order brides. He just needed to get past the border police...

He stopped his automobile at a checkpoint, ready for them to come, his answers pre-loaded. But he didn't reckon for the Phoenix guards.

He tried to explain what he was going to Texas for, but the guards refused to listen. They had heard the same answers before, and weren't going to listen. As he answered the 13th question, a truncheon-blow knocked him out.

He was later interrogated, where it was discovered that he was illegally transporting mail-order brides. He was found guilty at his trial and punished with 50 years in prison. The same thing happened to 70 other such 'transporters', and the Texans made a tacit agreement to stop with it.

Phoenix

John Raven was tired of hearing the same things. Always, the military was too weak, they couldn't attack, and so on.

Thus, he made the following declaration to all his generals and advisors:

'Your Dear Leader speaks. Attack, attack, attack! Kill! Maim! Burn! Crush the Phoenix scum! Attack them now, because I am getting tired of being on the defensive! I am tired of waiting! Begin the Grand Offensive!'

The orders were heard, and listened to out of fear.
You have ruled this galaxy for ten thousand years.
You have little of account to show for your efforts.
Order. Unity. Obedience.
We taught the galaxy these things.

And we shall do so again.
User avatar
Shroom Man 777
Global Mod
Posts: 4637
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 7:09 pm
Contact:

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Kamin997 wrote:Border with Texas

The Russian smiled, insanity in his beady eyes. Soon he would be rich and renowned throughout Texas, for his delivery of mail-order brides. He just needed to get past the border police...

He stopped his automobile at a checkpoint, ready for them to come, his answers pre-loaded. But he didn't reckon for the Phoenix guards.

He tried to explain what he was going to Texas for, but the guards refused to listen. They had heard the same answers before, and weren't going to listen. As he answered the 13th question, a truncheon-blow knocked him out.

He was later interrogated, where it was discovered that he was illegally transporting mail-order brides. He was found guilty at his trial and punished with 50 years in prison. The same thing happened to 70 other such 'transporters', and the Texans made a tacit agreement to stop with it.
THE TEXAN TELESCOPIC TRIBUNAL TIMES TODAY

EMPIRE OF THE PHOENIX BORDER AUTHORITIES RESTRICT WOMEN'S IMMIGRATION RIGHTS TO TEXAS

Mail Ordered Brides. Many Athenian women - be they from New Byzantium, New Athenia or Phoenix - attempt to leave the impoverishment that has befallen the balkanized Athenian successor states by marrying themselves to people from other countries, more financially developed and stable ones. In the American continent, Texas is the only such nation and thus ever since the Athenian Civil War there has been a proverbial flood of aspiring immigrants wishing to leave their old poor homes for the promise of a new life in Texas and its Capitalist Dream.

This is the cause of the so-called 'brain drain' plaguing the post-Athenian nations. Many Athenians with technical skills or any expertise at all take the opportunity to seek employment (and hopefully residence) in Texas hoping that their abilities would make them suitable for the job market. Texan companies, always on the look out for affordable but competent employees, are more than eager to utilize this untapped resource just immigrating into Texas from beyond the border.

But for women, especially housewives (a significant percentage of whom have become widowed in the many recent conflicts Old Athenia had gotten itself into), this is a different matter. Housewives may not have the necessary skillset to make themselves valuable commodities in the Texan job market and are not the first choice of Texan companies.

One of the solutions around this is for women to list themselves in catalogues to be selected by men for marriage. Since the collapse of Athenia, large numbers of Athenian women have advertised themselves in such a way and companies like Shroomy Blossoms allow women to sign up to be listed in picture magazines. Athenian men also list themselves in other magazines, becoming Mail Ordered Athenian Husbands.

However, Mail Ordered Athenian Wives and the company agents who provide them transportation often face many problems and dangers. Closed societies like New Athenia and the Empire of the Phoenix officially discourage their women from marrying Texans and immigrating, and there have been numerous cases wherein agents of companies like Shroomy Blossoms are brutalized by New Athenian or Phoenix authorities and imprisoned for decades-log terms due to trumped-up charges of human trafficking. This is made easier by the New Athenian and Phoenix authorities actively bribing Texan private police and border forces to turning a blind eye, or to actively report foreign brides immigrating from former Athenia...

More on Mail Ordered Brides.
Image

"Sometimes Shroomy I wonder if your imagination actually counts as some sort of war crime." - FROD
User avatar
Heretic
Posts: 1750
Joined: Wed May 21, 2008 4:45 pm
Location: IN AMERICA

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Heretic »

When Michael Ire got there, things happened quick. Taking a nice long boat ride, Ire went to Texas in a 3 weeks, having to pass the Panama Canal and all. And things changed.

For one thing, vodka got more popular after the first mass shipment of the Russian beverage came, especially the Vodka Cigarettes, which was smoked 6 packs an hour on average. Another thing that came to was, Athenian mail ordered brides were quite popular too, though recently, as Ire read on a report during the ride, consumer complaints stated that most of the women grin too much, and some were sent back, or if the husband wasn't a dick, sent her to a more financially stable country, like those in Europe who never seemed to had a war since Napoleon. Then there was Joe Mccarthy.

That Wisconsin Nobleman immigrant son of a grinning whore! Manipulating the people's hatred for communism for his own gains! Hell, Ire wouldn't be surprised if Mccarthy was doing it to get the Texans into war with New Athenia and win the favor of his God-Emperor in the Empire of the Phoenix. That lapdog scum! Ire snarled as he set foot on the Texan dock in the Gulf of Mexico.

I'll show him how Texas deals with people like him! Ire muttered as he walked inside the door that would lead to another leading inside a building. As he went in, he heard a slam behind him and gunshots.

"What the hell?" Ire muttered as he reached for the revolvers, but realized he left them on Shroomvanksi's conference table. Muffled gasps came around him and then silence. "What the hell is going on out there?!" Ire reached and tried to yank back the door knob, but nothing. He couldn't see through the very fancy glossy window, and he didn't like it at all. Then, the door behind him opened.

"Ah, Michael Ire, I've been expecting you." A rough voice chuckled behind him. Ire was about to turn when he heard lots of clicks. "Ah-ah! Look at us or make any funny moves and we shall have to pull the triggers of our gyrojet pistols." Ire grimaced. "Oh yes, all the agents that you were with are now dead." Ire snarled. "Tsk-Tsk. Is that all you Texans can do? Snarl? How sad. I've been sent to take down a savage. And pity Mccarthy has to deal with your savage horde. Still, we will need your bodies to make walls during the upcoming war." He could almost feel a grin burn behind his back. "Now, I'm sorry, Prime Minister Ire, but your term has ended..."


Dallas Government Square

"You are seeing today an all out attempt to marshal the forces of the opposition, using not merely the communists, or their fellow travelers-the deluded liberals, the eggheads, and some of my good friends in the corporations who can become heros over night in the eyes of the left-wing press if they will just join with the jackal pack!" Joe Mccarthy's voice rumbled angrily as the crowd was in a wild frenzy. "And while these elements are still at large, Ire does not do anything about it! Instead, he has instead went on and intercoursed with Shroomvanski and Tito, agreeing to openly trade with the communists! And we are already seeing the effects here! Vodka, Vodka Cigarettes, Soviet toys and catalogs filled with poison that are infecting our children's minds with communist proverbs and propaganda!" The crowd screamed and hollered while he spoke. Joe Mccarthy stood there, nodding. It was nighttime, but all the stage lights beamed towards him, all outside his bright circle pitch dark.

When the crowd died down a bit, Joseph held up his arm and hollered: "Let us toss out the communist influences that plague our nation and help others do the same! Even as we speak, patriotic elements have removed the traitor Ire from his post this morning, and soon a more suitable Prime Minister shall be elected. The Empire of Phoenix is under attack by New Athenia, a threat close to home! We must aide the Empire and help them regain their long lost territory and throw out the socialist regime. Ire is dead! Ire is gone, the traitor known as Ire..."

He said no more as a bullet from the darkness beside him went through his head. The nobleman collapsed. The crowd gasped loudly and held still, mesmerized by the instant action. Then, Ire came, bloody bandages all around him and his cowboy suit was ragged, to the podium lectern and dropped his wrists on the utmost edge, a semi-automatic pistol clutched by his right hand. The crowd was quiet.

"...Ire lives!" A dark look on the Prime Minister's face, bloody and fatigued, made the crowd crunch. "Who is the traitor you ask? Who is the socialist? Why, I can answer that!" He stood up straight and pointed at the body of Mccarthy.

"He is an escaped nobleman from the Empire of Phoenix who wanted to use you, the rugged individuals known as Texans, as pawns for war! And what did you do? You nearly fell down and worshiped him as a god. In the hundred years of Texan independence, we have survived all Collectivist and foreign attacks. Our love for freedoms, handed down by the forefathers of this nations who were exiled from Athenia long ago for denouncing monarchy, has enabled us to stand against the tide of the gun control, socialism, communism and government-worshiping that the rest of the world marvels! It was our individualism and the view that we don't take shit from any European, Asiatic or otherwise that kept us sane during the wars. And even during rule under the Chinese, we have maintained our freedoms, no matter how much the Imperial Throne tried to take it away from us." Ire took a deep breath.

"But look at you now! In fear of Soviet communism, you fell for Mccarthy Socialism: Mccarthy would have told you what to buy and not to buy! He would have dictated your wants by using hysteria so that you can buy! And then he wants to war against New Athenia, an Orwellian-esque nation, aligning with The Empire of the Phoenix. But guess what? You would have gotten yourself into a situation like the one written in George Orwell's 1984. Three similar nations, totalitarian socialism governments in different names, fighting one or the other in fear of something, keeping the people in bay and wasting resources for war!" The crowd was very nervous and ashamed now. "Oh yes. The Empire of the Phoenix, as they are basically old Athenia, is socialist. Think about that. While you criticize me for talking with the Soviets, you would have whole-heartily aligned with another socialist nation, a socialist nation which has, unlike the Soviets, actually invaded our lands and destroyed many civilian lives! You would have worshiped the Empire's Emperor, who is worshiped as a god! You do not deserve to be called Texan!" Ire yelled this time. The crowd just dipped their heads in guilt.

"Now, saying that, I would like to explain the purpose of going to Soviet Russia. Now, though openly I have stated that it was for better relations, in which you are revolting against. That, I understand and do not condemn as much as I condemn you following a man mindlessly. But, I managed to get trading going with the Soviet Union, as you know and probably bought a few things from them." Some in the crowd fidgeted. "Now, this might seem like treason, as it's with the bastion of communism, but think of it. We aren't only trading goods, but ideas. We, the most capitalist nation in the world, is trading with the nation who started of the Communist Revolution and sponsor of all other communist revolutions. We will be trading high-end goods to the people of Russia. We are sending bits and pieces of capitalism to the heart of communism. When I was coming back from the USSR, I realized that this is how we should wage our war against communism and socialism. Not war, which would only unite the communists even more and ration the capitalists who fight them, but trade.

When we fight and kill people, our foes will see us as villains. But if we trade, we can show the population that capitalism is good and very yummy unlike their quota rations." A few in the crowd chuckled. "And this is how we shall deal with New Athenia, a nation of horror and evil. We shall parachute vodka to proles. Unlike the Soviets, the New Athenian masses have not mastered the art of drinking continuously and working at the same time. They will be unable to work due to their drunk state. We shall also bomb the cities with Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations continuously so that there will be no possible way to burn them all. Not only that, but humanitarian supplies will be sent there to feed the starving people as well as enlighten them how much better we are than "Arizona Bob" who is just babbling on and on about something with sand. And if those grinning New Athenians lay a finger upon our air raids of food and goods, then we'll personally come over and whoop their asses. Oh yeah, and the Empire of the Phoenix won't get a piece of that land. We'll just give to better supervision, like New Byzantine or maybe ourselves. Who knows." Ire just shrugged. "Now, go on and try to regain your Texan heart. I got business to do." Ire then promptly stepped out of the light.
and the Texans made a tacit agreement to stop with it.
..Because it was unprofitable. The men were nervous and scared of the grinning women. Even if the Russian with his cargo went to Texas, he would find that the demand of Athenian women dropped rapidly. What everyone now wanted was Russian Brides who varied in personality and during sex, instead of grinning, moaned. And the fact that Russian women wanting to go live the Capitalist Dream just gave the more political husbands harder erections. So, the market for mailing brides didn't crash because of the blockade, just shifted to a more profitable and pleasurable area. And immigrants still came to Texas from the Athenian states via Cuba passport, and then using the free movement agreement between Cuba and Mexico, went near the Mexican-Texas border, and just hopped across.

The Texan-Athenian Border, the Empire of Phoenix and New Athenia area

Image
500 Davy Crockett outposts scattered around the border. You know, defensive measures against more assassination attempts from rogue noblemen. No hard feelings or anything.
Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
-Joseph Campbell
User avatar
Shroom Man 777
Global Mod
Posts: 4637
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 7:09 pm
Contact:

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

PRAVDA

GREAT GLASNOT'S OVERTURE OF OPENNESS, PERESHROOMSKA PUBLICITY PRECIPITATES EGALITARIAN ECONOMIC ENHANCEMENT

Image

Under the ongoing reforms of Premier Stanislav Shroomanski, the Soviet Union's incremental restructuring continues at a measured but beneficial pace. Glasnot has, very modestly, opened Soviet society to the rest of the world, allowing outsiders a peek into the Soviet Union as well. This openness is described by Premier Shroomanski as a way to reveal to the whole world of the true nature of the USSR and to dispell foreign misconceptions showing them truth, justice and the Soviet Way of Life. Through this effort, relations between the Soviet Union and nearby neighboring nations - such as the Commonwealth and the Concord states of France, Spain and Germany - have been considerably improved and partially normalized.

Image Image

Publications such as Pravda itself, working with the Radio Moscow broadcasting service, have aided glasnost with the coverage of recent events, such as the Athenian invasion of Shroomalia, the subsequent disintegration of Athenia, the formation of the Greater Imperial Shogunate of Japan and the current conflict in Manchuria. Pravda's coverage of recent events has been lauded worldwide for outstanding journalism and for giving the people of the Soviet Union a window to the world and for giving the people of the world a window into the Soviet Union.

Meanwhile, the societal openness of glasnot comes together with the policies of pereshroomska - the political and economic reforms and restructuring of the Soviet Union. Pereshroomska goes hand in hand with glasnot and can be seen most evidently by the Soviet Union's close bond with its Quadruple Alliance 'comrade nations', as well as the recent diplomatic overtures to the nations of Yugoslavia, Texas and the Philippines and the normalized relations with the Commonwealth and Europe. These diplomatic overtures have included joint economic endeavors, trade and commerce meant to further the prosperity of the Soviet Union and to engage in exchanges of both ideas and materials with the rest of the socialist and non-socialist world.

However, pereshroomska is not only a foreign policy but most primarily it is an internal one and currently the Soviet Union is undergoing a slow and incrimental change, one nonetheless very significant in the long term. This effort was conceived by Premier Shroomanski and the pragmatists of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, involving the bottom-up streamlining of Soviet economy and implementation of Special Economic Zones where both domestic and international trade can be fostered. Pereshroomska aims to revitalize the entirety of the Soviet economy and mobilize its resources, and great success has already been had like with the Virgin Lands Campaign - with years of record crop harvests after disaster was narrowly avoided - turning the entire Soviet Union's agricultural fortunes around for the better.

With the current successes of the Soviet Union, both on Earth and in Space, there is no telling what good fortunes the future can bring for the U.S.S.R.


CROUCHING COMMUNISTS, HIDDEN HIJINKS

Image

Communist parties worldwide are in high spirits and the international movement has gained levels of popularity unseen in decades, last seen when the oppressed masses railed against the capitalist pigdog Robber Barons in the days of the Industrial Revolution when Trotsky himself walked the Earth.

With the successful establishment of several new communist nations worldwide, in Turkey, China and Korea and most lately in Rio, and the state of the Soviet Union as well as the demise of the the Old Athenian capitalist pigdog nation and the warring and in-fighting of its successor states, the ideals of Internationalism has only spread further and communism's appeal to the common man continues to increase steadily. Premier Shroomanski - seen as the worldwide leader of the new-generation communist - has addressed this much in his State of the (Soviet) Union speech and in the COMINTERN, the Third International.

Image

The Premier has also welcomed the Revolutionary Republic of Red Rio into the fold of the growing world community of communist nations, holding hands with Commandante Fidel Castro and the great revolutionary Che Guevara and showing them around Moscow, the Red Square and the Palace of the Soviets.

In the COMINTERN Third International, many numerous topics were discussed between world communist leaders, in attendance were the likes of Chairman Mao and President for Life Josip Broz Tito, while Dear Leader Kim Il Sung was unable to attend due to other more pressing concerns. In the COMINTERN, Premier Shroomanski led the meeting and dealt with pressing issues such as peaceful coexistance of the West and the gradual transformation of capitalist societies into communist ones not through armed and open conflict, but by current communist nations leading the world by a peaceful unified example.

Meanwhile, communist festivities are being broadcasted worldwide by Pravda and Radio Moscow as the COMINTERN enters recess.

Image
Image

"Sometimes Shroomy I wonder if your imagination actually counts as some sort of war crime." - FROD
User avatar
Shroom Man 777
Global Mod
Posts: 4637
Joined: Mon May 19, 2008 7:09 pm
Contact:

Re: O1 World IC thread

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

T6: THE TEXAN TELESCOPIC TRIBUNAL TIMES TODAY

SHOCKING REVELATIONS FROM DECLASSIFIED SOVIET FILES

The Texan Telescopic Tribunal Times Today (T6) has received disturbing information from journos currently corresponding in Moscow. As part of their "glasnot", the Soviet Union has an increased freedom of information and Texan journos - always on the look out for insidious communoid schemes - were eager to delve into the Russkies' dirty laundry to unveil whatever plots they may have for the bastion of capitalism that is Texas.

What the T6 journoes found in Moscow though spoke of disturbing things not from the frozen Motherland of the Russkies, but of something far more closer to home:

Excrepts from the Tasmanian Treaty Talks, wherein Premier Shroomanski opposed the Athenian attempts at annexating Texas after the Athenian-Texan war and vouched for Texan independence from both Athenia and Texas
Shroomanski wrote:"Thus, my comrades, I must petition that in light of the inherent uncertainties involved in any diplomatic dealings with Athenia, the matter of the disputed state of Texas must be resolved by making Texas an independent entity whose destiny is to be determined solely by the free peoples of that nation - and by no other party. Freedom is the right of all sentient beings, and they deserve to choose. The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics will not accept any other course of action, and will consider any attempt at undue influence or hegemony by Athenia as an act of oppression on the proletariat.
Athenia attempts to requisition Soviet aid in their own scheme against the Lone Star State of Texas.
Lord Appolyon wrote:I believe that our two nations have a lot to offer each other, particularly against the threat posed by the Anarcho-Capitalistic, conservative and authoritarian state known as Texas, traits which run against the very nature of our two societies. Texas has been a thorn in our side ever since the Franco-Sino war, and a series of special operations against it, would I say, weaken its global power greatly. If it is destabilised through joint Athenian/Soviet operations, a revolution like your own would doubtlessly start, most likely from the 'Hippy' and/or Texan Trotskyite communes. Arming these groups with Athenian and Soviet arms would be a great step toward spreading the Global Revolution throughout our respective lands, as the socialist reforms in Athenia continue.
Soviets say NYET.
Shroomanski wrote:In light of your nation's historic, and current, acts in the international stage, the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, the Supreme Soviet, Presidium and the Politburo consider Athenia to be an unreliable nation to consort with and does not currently consider Athenia to be a possible partner for furthering the cause of Internationalism and the rights of the proletariat.

Despite Athenia's claims to be socialist, the various conflicts Athenia has been involved with against foreign nations, including its interfering infringement into the Eurasian continent and its conduct regarding the Rio situation, lead us to reconsider your nation's ideological purity. Moreover, the veracity of your nation's government and its leader are also considered questionable.

And lastly, I sincerely doubt that Athenia can preoccupy itself with Texas at this moment, when it is on the verge of war with Spain.
These documents were obtained due to the Soviets declassifying certain files no longer deemed relevant or important - such as many files pertaining to Athenia, which now no longer exists - and putting them on public record.

However, despite what the Soviets may think - despite their declassification of documents pertaining to Athenia because Athenia "no longer exists" - we Texans must not and cannot forget that though Athenia may no longer exist, the nations of New Byzantium, New Athenia and the Empire of the Phoenix still do exist. We must be reminded that the government in Superbia that ordered the war on Texas still exists, except instead of being the capital of Athenia it's now the capital of the Empire of the Phoenix. At this very moment, another Athenian War is brewing on our very borders except this time it is Athenian versus Athenian rather than Athenian versus the Rest of the World.

While the world may now shrug off Athenia due to its disintegrations, we Texans must always be on the look out for the price of freedom is eternal vigilance. It was not the Soviets, the Raj, the Brazilians, the French or Mexicans, Yugoslavians or Commonwealth who lost Carson City. It was us. We must never forget.

Image
Image

"Sometimes Shroomy I wonder if your imagination actually counts as some sort of war crime." - FROD
Post Reply