O1 World IC thread

[Heretic]

Dear Premier Shroomvanski,

we understand your concerns. The situation is really close to your motherland, and you have agendas to protect. Communist agendas. But so do we, and we, unlike your agenda, is very simple. While you believe that communism should reign and bring everyone into eternal poverty, all we want is Manchuria, the heart of most of our people. But Manchuria is chaotic and has no government, so there was no way to have dialogue with the raping bastards. And so, our military presence was needed. And the STRAK attacked first. They condoned bandits and gangs, and fought for their sake. Is that what communism is about? Is that what you have been sponsoring? Proxy governments sponsoring gangsters and thugs? Our own leader has been victim to the corruption during his candidacy, and thus does not look kindly to such acts.

Now, we, The Sovereign of China, have invaded the Korean Peninsula in hopes of stopping the STRAK advancement from annihilating our free enterprise nation. We are deeply regretful for the air-bombings on innocent civilian populations, but it was necessary to annihilate the STRAK's potential. But, that was very barbaric of us and we shall reconcile in most ways for that grievance.

And concerning your peace treaty plan, we ask that you draw fair terms and rewards for the Sovereign. We would not like to be sent back to a stagnant state with our brave men having fought in vain. Even as we speak, Doctor Manchuria is writing a personal letter to Kim Jong Il in hopes of reaching an agreement. But please know that even if fighting continues, The Sovereign is resourceful in its ways and can easily snuff the Peninsula of Korea out of history. So, please, deal nicely with us if you value your little commie state, as well as the safe-being of Communist China.

Love,
The Sovereign of China

Dear Kim Jong Il,
How have you been? Any plans lately? Well, as for me, I am just enjoying the lush pastures in China not touched by your paper planes. Do you enjoy sipping tea in green pastures? Ah, I guess not. I really feel sorry for you, having me bomb your small lands to shreds and making your life generally harder. Very sorry. But hey, ever tried having a picnic under a bombed-out city? Real fun for the kids, as it becomes a sort of playground with inclining slides and so many places to climb.

But to the point. You and me know that I want Manchuria. It's my birthplace and the Sovereign's home. We know that Manchuria was infested with criminals, and there was no way with negotiating with a central authority, because there was none. So, I decided to go in there showing the women-raping bandits that justice has came. We rarely had any civilian casualties. But then, you came to aid the bandits and their raping ways, and so the war began.

Now, your friends the Russians have been kind enough to step in before I utterly annihilated your puny existence and has asked us for a treaty. Now, we accepted, but I want to make a few things straight to you, We want Manchuria. And if we don't get Manchuria, things get crazy. We Chinese are cunning. For example:


This is a picture of the F-4 Phantom. Now, I may or may not have a few squadrons of them. The Sovereign is dirt poor, but I might have used my personal treasury accumulated by the sales of my health books, the exports of my soup, and the royalties of my movie acting and bought some. And want to guess on another thing? Spies, under our private payrolls, might know the location of your daddy. We might know the location of your daddy. And we might just send a bunker-buster as a way of saying hello from us. He might be in a bunker, and he might not. Even if he isn't, it would be common courtesy to give him a convenient grave a few yards under. Who knows, the ground might pressurize him and turn him into diamonds. A great relic for the future STRAK to see, if they exist in the future.

We may or may not have F-4 interceptors ready to smash your small airforce to the ground, and we may or may not know the location of your dad (by the way, how is he?), but one thing we do know is that we have lots of tactical nukes waiting for your slaves up north, as well as Mao's people on the west. You have our Great Wall? Good. That old relic protected us from the Mongols long ago, but in this age of tactical missiles and jets, it's completely useless. I must ask, though, how many of you and Mao's men are on that thing? Is the wall compacted and bunched with your men? I advise you leave immediately, as I was planning on demolishing that thing for more urban areas. Still, you probably saved me the time by sending your soldiers on it. Want to be how much remains after a bombardment of tactical nukes? I would bet a thousand Koreans not much.

So, please, consider very carefully on how you trend with us. Please forward that message to Mao as well.

Hoping for a reply,
Doctor Manchuria.

P.S. In a more childish insult (no offense), is the huge shape of the Korean Peninsula compensating something? Just asking.

[Shroom Man 777]

Doctor Manchuria,

Nyet, communism does not condone the action of anarchist criminal fringe world yokels and never has. However, the STRAK's actions were done not in the name of vandals but as a response to what they saw as a threat to their own territory in Sovereign China's rapid expansion into lands directly bordering the Korean Peninsula and they merely reacted to this perceived threat. By the way, in doing so, the STRAK has inadvertently curbed the problem of Manchurian criminality by press-ganging many of those criminals into military service as cannon fodder and perhaps you may be pleased to hear that.

Now the willingness of Sovereign China to negotiate terms for a ceasefire and a peace plan, not to mention pay for reparations, is highly appreciated and commendable. Likewise, the we have received statements from the other side in Chicom China and Pyongyang expressing similar sentiments and hopes of conflict-resolution. Despite the differences in our communist and your capitalist mindsets, we both can equally acknowledge that war is a wasteful thing in terms of the proletariat that we value and the stock portfolios that likewise concerns you. All the nations involved in the conflict so far, the Raj notwithstanding, have shown the strain of prolonged warfare.

As for the fair terms of the peace plan, we acknowledge the Sovereign Chinese interest in Manchuria but must likewise bring up the STRAK's concerns regarding Sovereign Chinese expansion into the area that would result in a direct border between Sovereign China and the STRAK, not to mention the Soviet Union itself. This may lead to potential complications in the future and thus we would like to bring up the possibility of some kind of partitioning and demarcation in the Manchurian territories, to provide a de-escalative ''comfort zone'' for the neighboring STRAK. The STRAK is receptive to this idea, and we would like to know if Sovereign China would find this proposal acceptable as well. If Sovereign China finds this solution agreeable, the exact area of these demarcation zones would then be negotiated and discussed.

However, the Soviet Union would like to ask all sides to agree to a ceasefire before any negotiations are conducted as peace talks would progress better if all parties stopped shooting at each other.

The Soviet Union shall deal nicely with Sovereign China, but it does not any talk of "snuffing" entire nations out off history lightly.


Sincerely,
Premier Stanislav Shroomanski

[OOC: My computer just broke! Oh mang!]

[Shroom Man 777]

Dear Doctor,

I'm fine and thank you for your apparent concern for my health, Doc. Though I wonder when you'll return home from your picnic, since we'd like to hear what you think about the interior redecorating we did for you over at the Forbidden Palace. We also made you a nice new swimming pool where the Ding Dong Dam used to be, since we thought you might prefer skinny dipping together with your foot-bounded concubines and eunuchs. You might want to get yourself one of those inflatable rubber donuts and a rubber duckie too.

Now onto serious business. Manchuria. Right now, we're sitting on it but since the Soviets want everyone to kiss like a bunch of queers and make up like a bunch of pencil-neck sissies, then let's talk shop. We went to war not because of some fringe world yokels who didn't know where their loyalties lied, and we ended up turning them into machinegun meat over at Hooker Hole Hill anyway, so that's fine and dandy for the both of us. What's not fine is the Korean Peninsula sharing a border directly with Sovereign China, so like the Soviets said we better start partitioning the land and draw lines in the sand. We're a bunch of commies, so sharing won't be that bad. STRAK's been sharing a whole lot with China these past few months, haven't we?

We can let you have Northern China back and a part of Manchuria, and we can even draw some pretty new lines into the maps with crayolas. But in return, those new lines we're going to draw in the map better keep Sovereign China away from the Korean Peninsula since there's no way we're going to share a border with you people.

As for what you might or might not have, the STRAK also might or might not be very near Beijing and might or might not have long-ranged weapons pointed over there - weapons that we might have chosen not to use despite what you've done in the Peninsula, since the Soviets want everyone to stop blowing things up want us to kiss and make up like a bunch of gross queers. And FYI, nuking your own land is more crazy than cunning, Chinaman.

Don't bring my daddy into this or else I might start saying creative things about your mother, if you even have one. And I sincerely doubt that you would fossilize nearly half as well as dear daddykins if we returned the favor and tried to make engagement rings out of you since we might have to fish you out of the water, near Formosa or something.

Consider the fact that after all this is said and done, you can go back to footbinding your concubines and selling cheap soup in your redecorated Forbidden Palace and go fishing over at your Ding Dong.

Here's your reply,
Kim Jong Il



P.S. No, it is not compensating for something. You know the hammer and sickle? That's the hammer.

The hammer is my penis.

[Czernobog]

Phoenix, New Athenia

New Athenia was collapsing. Prole uprisings had ripped the country in half, and due to Raven's foolishness, half the army had been wiped out. It was not a matter of if the end finally came, but when.

Then, the Phoenix soldiers burst into the capital, tanks pouring in as soldiers advanced to the headquarters of the Phoenix Clique, the self-declared rulers of New Athenia. They broke in the door three days later.

They surrendered, having no desire to be killed.

They were then put on trial for war crimes and crimes against humanity, found guilty, and summarily executed via firing squad.

But more intriguing was what they found below.

[Czernobog]

Nothing here.

[Shroom Man 777]

San Francisco

Norton looked at the streets in horror. The Million Man March was continuing toward his palace. A million people, of every type, demanding re-unification. It was a nightmare.

And worse, it was happening in every city. The Million Man March would not end, would not stop, unless it was ended here. Signs were held aloft, demanding the end of De-Atheniafication, of Truth and Reconciliation, of Norton's attempts to destroy the Athenian identity. He had angered the people, and they were showing their anger.

Why had it come to this? But then, he realised. New Byzantium had no identity - it was a soulless product created by random lines on a map. It meant nothing to the people. Not like Athenia had.

The horrors of New Athenia had destroyed the last of his credibility. He had lied to the people, and the people were striking back. Norton wept for the end of his newborn nation, and realised that soon, New Byzantium would no longer exist.

He could only decide where, when and how.

A violent response was out of the question. It would invite further violence, and that would lead to more and more.

A few days later, he declared a plebiscite, and New Byzantium was voted out of existence.

San Francisco, New Byzantium

New Byzantium was not voted out of existence.

"Kamin can go suck my balls." Emperor Norton announced as he woke up the next morning after a particularly bad dream. He rolled in bed, scratched his testicles and a new day greeted the sunshine state.

"Cocks," the Emperor said.

[Heretic]

Doctor Manchuria snarled at the letters given to him by Kim Jong Il.

"That mangy man-child!" Doctor Manchuria hissed as he threw them into his fireplace where the Forbidden Palace was blown in half. Again. "Damn that mangy man child! I float on inflatable tubes, not donuts!" He spat. The stern and SRSS BSNSS generals behind him in their fancy suits with prototype kelvar vests stood straight, not flinching. Doctor Manchuria beckoned to one. The beckoned general stepped forward. I want you, Zang Yu, to take all the reserves we have and make sure the ChiComs in the Great Wall are behaving themselves. If need be, blow the Great Wall up if things get more hectic. When we are done with all this, we'll make a modern wall of concrete, bunkers, AA missiles, Davy Crocketts, and porn magazines. But for now, don't hold back if the ChiCom make a move." The general bowed and disappeared out into the half-charred ground to head to his jeep. "The rest of you are dismissed." After the other generals left, Doctor Manchuria grabbed his telephone which was connected to a electric generator and cables, dialing a few numbers.

"Mr. Russian Ambassador? How are you? Is the food good? How's your family? Oh really? That's wonderful. Listen. I need you to get a line to the Premier. Yes, Shroomvanski." Doctor Manchuria waited a bit, eyes looking around the half-destroyed building. Kim Jung Il's cock missile penetrated into the Forbidden Palace's soft exterior deeper than thought to be. Doctor Manchuria sat up when he heard a voice?

"Da?" A gruff voice said on the other line. Doctor Manchuria gave a cunning smile.

"Ah, Russia leader, darling. How are you? I need to ask you something?" Doctor Manchuria gave a girly voice.

"What is it?" Shroomvanski said, not too pleased.

"Can't the peace terms be modified a bit? I mean, Korea isn't that big, and doesn't need that much resources, but we Chinese have so many mouths to feed, and the border lines in Manchuria seem unfair for us. "Each according to his needs" as that German communist's quote was. And we aren't given according to our needs. Do you want us Chinese Children to starve, handsome? No, I don't think you don't. So if you could during the treaty meeting...and we'll make it worth your trouble." Doctor Manchuria waited for the answer.

[Heretic]

Michael Ire sighed. It was quiet. For once. China wasn't imploding for the thousandth time (or at least, not right now), and The Athenian war-whore states were actually not being naughty. For once.

Michael Ire had to take a few minutes just to digest that. For once, instead of having intel reports of albino psionics ripped out from awful Hyperboean Britain sci-fi wargames unleashed on African gangstas or the current report on how Bo Jin Cheng lookalike was slapping Manchild Korea-man and Manchild Korea-man was slapping back with another appendage, Ire's main priority that was on his desk was a maintenance problem with the National Texas Waterline. This sort of thing a few months ago would have been in the bottom of his to-do list.

Ire sighed a relief sigh as he read through the bill asking for a national increase of the sales tax in order to repair the pipeline of fresh water. Ire ripped it up and jot a note down for a private contract company to fix the rust. Much reasonable, and a more popular approach. Ire jolted a bit, expecting generals and Agents to burst through, giving him emergency briefings on Athenia, Africa, or Asia. But it was just a lanky desk monkey who came in with a single sheet of paper.

"Today's highlights, sir." The man said as he placed it on top of the wooden desk before heading out. Prime Minister Ire tipped his wide-brimmed hat, tapped his alligator boots, and held his breath. The bill wasn't a war doctrine or a plea for funding on a thousand new, exotic, and downright dumb weapons "that will turn the tide of conflict." It was the current debt. Ever since Texas stopped fighting and started trading as a neutral party, the national debt was halved, and parts of the Brazilian loans were paid off. And it seems like the Chinese inter-nations and Korea are planning on making a deal.

Ire placed the paper down and rested his head on the reclining chair. A few years ago, Michael was a guerrilla fighter against an unified Athenia, with Texas still under an Imperial China, who was fighting a very autonomous France. Now, the age of empires was slowly diminishing, with Athenia broken up into three parts (one part being actually reasonable, despite their emperor being a complete nut, while by comparison of the other Athenian nobles is actually sane.), China is also split into three parts, with a independent commie Korea, Texas became a single state and is quite well off, and France is being more lenient to their colonies. Times have changed.

Ire looked around at his quiet room and smiled. The sun was beaming through his tall windows and made a cheerful lightness to the area. With the lights turned off, the sun's rays were beautiful and provided sufficient light. Micheal Ire stood up and picked up his telephone, looking at the family portrait of him and his tall wife. He was so busy, he barely talked to Sophie. Usually had whores doing his favors in those hectic times. But now, with the world being quiet for once, Ire will call.

[Czernobog]

Superbia



Franklin Delano Roosevelt, High Chancellor and Head of Government for the Empire of the Phoenix, sighed as he looked at the reports. Bad, but some good. But there was a chance...

Ideas fluttered through his brain, in increasing numbers. He began to type on the typewriter, plans pushing through him. It was a desperate plan. But perhaps, if it worked...yes, it would work. He was convinced of that. In less than five years, the Empire would reach total economic recovery. Manic energy flew through him, as he continued to type, understanding what to do.

Then, he was finished, and hastily scrawled his signature on it. He then rushed towards the Audience chamber of the Phoenix King. This was of vital importance.

But what would he call it? 'Roosevelt Plan' sounded egotistic, but all the others seemed stupid. Then, a neuron fired - he would call it his New Deal...

The Superbia Times

'World Forum' announced in Superbia

The 'World Forum', a forum where members of the international community can talk to each other in diplomatic fashion, has recently been announced. A security council will soon be announced consisting of all nuclear-armed states, save New Byzantium, which has called the World Forum 'a typical Athenianist insult to our glorious nation' and has refused to join. Also, many nations are still debating over whether to join the World Forum, including France, Spain, the Raj, the USSR Hyperborea, the Phillipines, Oceania and Japan.

The World Forum will be housed in the skyscraper 'Illinois', built in Superbia and being approximately a mile tall.


War Office, Superbia

The War Office and the military had long been home to madness and murder, scheming and byzantine intrigue. Until Ludwig Schroedinger had straightened it out. The son of a Prussian Officer, Ludwig had emigrated in his mid-thirties, being immaculately disciplined and had long talked to the people about re-organising and reforming the military. Such talk had been useless and pointless, until he had been promoted to the level of Chief of Staff and given an opportunity to straighten things up.

There was only one Lord Commander for the army now, with Eliphas being Lord Commander of the Army, Kaitomara controlling the Navy and Admiral Aquillon being Lord Commander of the Navy.

It made sense.

Furthermore, impressive new reforms were being carried out in every branch of the military. New classes of carrier on the drawing board, new aircraft, new tanks, rifles, vehicles and everything that mattered in a modern military.

'Herr Ikari?' Ludwig asked, his English perfect save for a few mannerisms and a slight accent. 'How is the propaganda doing?'

'Perfectly,' Ikari replied. 'We are making New Byzantium out to be dangerous, and a threat for the world. Our neutrality is lowering even as our war-making abilities increase, and our economy is improving with every day.'

'Good,' Ludwig said, New Byzantium may only control California, Washington and Oregon, but it is a threat. At this stage, war is not necessary, but we are arming and equipping the resistance against Norton's rule. And if Norton says the word 'de-Atheniaification' one more time, I will be sorely tempted to strangle him.

[Shroom Man 777]

Superbia

The Superbia Times

'World Forum' announced in Superbia

The 'World Forum', a forum where members of the international community can talk to each other in diplomatic fashion, has recently been announced. A security council will soon be announced consisting of all nuclear-armed states, save New Byzantium, which has called the World Forum 'a typical Athenianist insult to our glorious nation' and has refused to join. Also, many nations are still debating over whether to join the World Forum, including France, Spain, the Raj, the USSR Hyperborea, the Phillipines, Oceania and Japan.

The World Forum will be housed in the skyscraper 'Illinois', built in Superbia and being approximately a mile tall.


War Office, Superbia

The War Office and the military had long been home to madness and murder, scheming and byzantine intrigue. Until Ludwig Schroedinger had straightened it out. The son of a Prussian Officer, Ludwig had emigrated in his mid-thirties, being immaculately disciplined and had long talked to the people about re-organising and reforming the military. Such talk had been useless and pointless, until he had been promoted to the level of Chief of Staff and given an opportunity to straighten things up.

There was only one Lord Commander for the army now, with Eliphas being Lord Commander of the Army, Kaitomara controlling the Navy and Admiral Aquillon being Lord Commander of the Navy.

It made sense.

Furthermore, impressive new reforms were being carried out in every branch of the military. New classes of carrier on the drawing board, new aircraft, new tanks, rifles, vehicles and everything that mattered in a modern military.

'Herr Ikari?' Ludwig asked, his English perfect save for a few mannerisms and a slight accent. 'How is the propaganda doing?'

'Perfectly,' Ikari replied. 'We are making New Byzantium out to be dangerous, and a threat for the world. Our neutrality is lowering even as our war-making abilities increase, and our economy is improving with every day.'

'Good,' Ludwig said, New Byzantium may only control California, Washington and Oregon, but it is a threat. At this stage, war is not necessary, but we are arming and equipping the resistance against Norton's rule. And if Norton says the word 'de-Atheniaification' one more time, I will be sorely tempted to strangle him.

NOONTIME NORTON NEWS NOTICE NOW
An NBC Publication


Available for $10

Immediately afterwords emissaries from Texas and the SFRY had been sent to many of the worlds nations with an offer to join this new alliance.

Nations such as Japan, The Philippines, New Byzantium, the remnants of China and many others. Soon great diplomatic talks would begin all over the world and this new alliance would grow quickly, or so it's founders had hoped.

YUGOSLAVIAN & TEXAN DELEGATES ARRIVE IN NEW BYZANTIUM - Emperor Norton has received representatives from the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia and Texas. The recently allied nations of the SFRY and Texas have sent emissaries to countries such as Japan, the Philippines and the 'Three Kingdoms' of China after the Yugoslavian leader President Tito and Texas' Prime Minister Micheal Ire met in the Moscow Multinational Meeting with Premier Shroomanski.

President Tito and Prime Minister Micheal Ire have announced their intentions to form a global alliance of small states and nations meant to be independent from the influences of the great powers and their blocs, such as the Quadruple Alliance and the European Concorde. While Yugoslavia and Texas have formed an alliance, the other nations have not been as quick to the call. However, Emperor Norton has expressed interest in joining the alliance and reentering New Byzantium into the international stage.

"New Byzantium seeks to enter a new era of fellowship with its fellow nations of the world, and we cannot suffer the same fate as our neighbors who are in danger of becoming pariah states," Emperor Norton was quoted saying as he received the Texan and Yugoslavian representatives.


"TYPICAL ATHENIAN INSULT TO OUR GLORIOUS NATION" - The Empire of the Phoenix has neglected to invite New Byzantium into its World Forum in a move that Byzantine officials have called a "typical Athenian insult to our glorious nation, another act of expected snobbery." According to Baron Rheinhard von Reagan of Los Angeles "this is in-keeping with their treatment of their fellow Athenian successor-states, such as New Athenia. We all saw what happened to New Athenia."

All over Los Angeles and San Francisco, demonstrations have broken out protesting the Phoenix annexation of New Athenia. The recent war just next door to New Byzantium have fueled fears of Phoenix aggression, shades of the many Great Athenian Wars of the past that decimated old Athenia and resulted in countless of casualties.

"It looks like Superbia is up to their old tricks again," Baron Rheinhard von Reagan said recently, referring to the seat of government of old Athenia and the current Empire of the Phoenix.

"We'll make our own World Forum," the Baron announced. "With blackjack, and hookers!"

WOULD-BE ASSASSIN LINKED TO TERROR GROUPS - Daniel Bradley, the man who attempted to assassinate Emperor Norton with a sniper rifle, has been found to have ties with several armed and dangerous Athenian fundamentalist extremist groups known to have engaged in violent acts of terrorism.

The San Francisco police department has announced that they have made several arrests and have found suspects in possession of arms, including sniper rifles and improvised explosives. The investigation is currently being led by Detective Barry Callashroom, the same man who thwarted Daniel Bradley's assassination attempt on Emperor Norton. Detective Callashroom has said to reporters that the terrorists' source of the arms and weapons is as of yet unknown, but that the investigation is ongoing and "those punks feel lucky, but they'll go ahead and make my day."

[Czernobog]

The Superbia Times

Phoenix makes itself active on world stage

The Empire of the Phoenix wishes to address the various slanders conducted on its name by New Byzantium, and plans to begin 'a new era of peace and reconciliation among the great powers of the world'. The opening of the World Forum is just the beginning of this tremendous rejuvenation plan.

According to High Chancellor Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 'New Byzantium was offered a seat on the World Forum, but Norton rejected it'. Furthermore 'New Athenia was a totalitarian, fascist state. We had every right to remove its leaders from power and annex it, as it was a supreme threat to world freedom.'

Yugoslavian delegates arrive in Superbia

Superbia has received delegates from the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia this morning, and were reportedly eager to join Tito's planned alliance. Said FDR this afternoon, 'we have a golden opportunity to reconcile ourselves with the international community. This great nation must stand together with others, only then can we truly decide our destiny.'

Negotiations are continuing but are reportedly going to end next week.

[Siege]

Somewhere over the Indian Ocean



The XB-70 Valkyrie bomber prototype cut through the air at a dazzling speed of Mach 3, faster than all but a few of the Raj's fastest aircraft could fly. It was one of only a handful such aircraft currently in existence, the B-70 program being still a few years from mass production, but already it was a powerful testament to the unrivalled skill of Rajastani aeronautical engineers. The powerful bomber was escorted by a flight of nimble F-108 Rapier escort fighters, loaded with anti-air ordnance and equipment designed to record every detail of the test flight.

"BLUE JAY this is HIGH TOWER" radioed the EB-60G electronic warfare aircraft that served as a command post for the duration of the test flight. "COMMS check."

"HIGH TOWER this is BLUE JAY" the radio officer aboard the B-70 replied dutifully. "Check in. Anything unusual happen?"

"Negative BLUE JAY. No bogies to report. We have you on radar, you are looking fine. How's the flight?"

"Holding up nice, HIGH TOWER. Some turbulence around the leading edge of the horizontal stabilizer, but nothing we couldn't handle."

"Copy BLUE JAY. You are cleared to come about return to Diego Garcia. HIGH TOWER out."

News from the Council

The Council of State of the Hindu Raj has, in name of the Maharajah, declined to participate in the 'World Forum' proposed by the Empire of the Phoenix. "It is the belief of His Eminent Highness the Maharajah that our interests are sufficiently served by the unilateral and multilateral ties that currently exist between the Raj and its diplomatic partners. There is no need to add a further layer of bureaucracy; moreover the Raj suspects the World Forum to be an attempt to impose limits upon the sovereignty of the Raj, something the Maharajah cannot accept."

The Hindu Raj currently has no diplomatic ties with the Empire of the Phoenix. Of the three Athenian successor-states the only one home to a Hindu ambassadorial mission is New Byzantium, with which the Raj has signed a Food For Nukes program under the terms of which the Raj absorbs fifty percent of Byzantium's nuclear weapons in return for a large number of aid shipments. These shipments are a main reason for the rapid economic recovery of New Byzantium in the wake of the collapse of Athenia.

[Magister Militum]

Eh, what the hell...

Le Figaro
France to participate in World Forum

Paris - The Ministry of Foreign Affairs has announced that the government of HIM Napoleon V will participate in the World Forum proposed by the government of the Empire of New Phoenix. Speaking on the matter, a spokesman for the Minister of Foreign Affairs said: "while relations between France and the Athenian nations have historically been cold, His Imperial Majesty and the Minister of Foreign Affairs have recognized that it is necessary to engage in civilized discourse and diplomacy. With the diplomatic complexities that are common in our day and age, the establishment of a body in which all the powers of the world may let their opinions be heard will be a great aid for establishing global stability."

It is currently unknown whether Emperor Napoleon V will personally participate in the Forum.

[Shady]

YUGOSLAVIAN & TEXAN DELEGATES ARRIVE IN NEW BYZANTIUM - Emperor Norton has received representatives from the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia and Texas. The recently allied nations of the SFRY and Texas have sent emissaries to countries such as Japan, the Philippines and the 'Three Kingdoms' of China after the Yugoslavian leader President Tito and Texas' Prime Minister Micheal Ire met in the Moscow Multinational Meeting with Premier Shroomanski.

President Tito and Prime Minister Micheal Ire have announced their intentions to form a global alliance of small states and nations meant to be independent from the influences of the great powers and their blocs, such as the Quadruple Alliance and the European Concorde. While Yugoslavia and Texas have formed an alliance, the other nations have not been as quick to the call. However, Emperor Norton has expressed interest in joining the alliance and reentering New Byzantium into the international stage.

"New Byzantium seeks to enter a new era of fellowship with its fellow nations of the world, and we cannot suffer the same fate as our neighbors who are in danger of becoming pariah states," Emperor Norton was quoted saying as he received the Texan and Yugoslavian representatives.

The Yugoslavian delegate was pleased, negotiations with New Byzantium had finally begun - and things were moving forward. The SFRY and Texas were looking for reasonable and respectable allies, New Byzantium unlike it's neighbor state, was one of them. The people of New Byzantium had made significant progress since the fall of Athenia, and if they joined the fledgling alliance, it would show the world that they were ready to move into a prosperous future, as a respectable nation, working in the best interest of it's people.

"Your highness makes an excellent point." The Yugoslavian delegate, Mr. Anastasiy Zhukanov began with a smile. "We have all seen the dangers inherent in countries ran by lunatics. The rule of reason must prevail, if our nations wish to grow and prosper. And I am sure, that if we work together as friends and Comrades, they shall prosper."

He paused for a moment, smiling and looked at his Texan counterparts.

"You know what our new alliance stands for, a better future for all our people - a future not influenced by war loving raving lunatics, and the great powers that fight for dominion over the planet." Anastasiy said and looked the Emperor straight in the eye. "What say you Emperor Norton, will you join us in building a better future for our children?"

[Shady]

Belgrade, SFRY

A large group of men had assembled in the great hall, discussions of some very important things were ongoing. Decisions were being made about the future of the SFRY, important decisions.

"Then we are agreed?" Tito said loudly.

"Aye." The room echoed with agreement.

"Then we shall begin the diplomatic initiative with our neighbors, and once we feel, that they are ready - we shall make our offer known." Tito spoke with determination.

Things were then set in motion, things that would influence the future of the Balkans - but that would take time. For now, things would remain as they are, but in the dark offices of many politicians across the Balkans - talks had begun.

[Shroom Man 777]

The Superbia Times

Yugoslavian delegates arrive in Superbia

What Yugoslavian delegates? I never sent anybody to your fringe world nation.

The Yugoslavian and Texan delegates had finally arrived at New Byzantium. For the Yugoslavian delegate, they had to travel trans-Atlantic aboard a chartered airliner. Their plane had to land in the Empire of the Phoenix to refuel at the Superb International Airport (in Superbia). So the Yugoslavian delegates did arrive at Superbia.

But then with their plane refueled, the Yugoslavian delegates took off and flew to San Francisco, in New Byzantium.

YUGOSLAVIAN & TEXAN DELEGATES ARRIVE IN NEW BYZANTIUM

The Yugoslavian delegate was pleased, negotiations with New Byzantium had finally begun - and things were moving forward. The SFRY and Texas were looking for reasonable and respectable allies, New Byzantium unlike it's neighbor state, was one of them. The people of New Byzantium had made significant progress since the fall of Athenia, and if they joined the fledgling alliance, it would show the world that they were ready to move into a prosperous future, as a respectable nation, working in the best interest of it's people.

"Your highness makes an excellent point." The Yugoslavian delegate, Mr. Anastasiy Zhukanov began with a smile. "We have all seen the dangers inherent in countries ran by lunatics. The rule of reason must prevail, if our nations wish to grow and prosper. And I am sure, that if we work together as friends and Comrades, they shall prosper."

He paused for a moment, smiling and looked at his Texan counterparts.

"You know what our new alliance stands for, a better future for all our people - a future not influenced by war loving raving lunatics, and the great powers that fight for dominion over the planet." Anastasiy said and looked the Emperor straight in the eye.

Emperor Norton met Anastasiy Zhukanov's gaze and regarded the Serbian keenly with his own eyes. After the myriad assassination attempts led by old Athenian extremists suspected to have been funded by the Empire of the Phoenix, and after the Phoenix' uncontested annexation of New Athenia, this alliance with the SFRY and Texas - an alliance that would perhaps extend to the other unaligned nations as well - might be just what the doctor ordered.



"What say you Emperor Norton, will you join us in building a better future for our children?"

Emperor Norton considered this and thus declared, raising his fist to the air in triumph:

"Aye, says I!"

New Byzantium was now allied with Texas and Yugoslavia.

[Shroom Man 777]

NBC

The National Broadcasting Company
A New Byzantium Corporation

PEOPLE POWER PERTAINING PLEBISCITE PUSHES PREAMBLE

The plebiscite regarding the state of New Byzantium and its future has come to an epic conclusion. Through mass voter turnout, Proposition 69 was affirmed with an astounding 75% of the population voting their support for the measure. The vote was overseen by an international committee of independent Texan and Yugoslavian overseers made up of both capitalists and communists to ensure fairness.

Proposition 69 was drafted by Emperor Norton himself together with the House of Commons and the House of Lords in a long and drawn out process that begun shortly after the declaration of New Byzantium's independence after the Athenian Civil War and continued on despite the outbreak of the brief Phoenix-New Athenian War, and the assassination attempt on Emperor Norton by old Athenian terror groups.

The approved Proposition 69 outlines several key features of New Byzantium, namely the four fundamental features of an independent state:

Territory: The defined territories of New Byzantium distinct and separate from the Athenian successor states, namely the entities of former New Athenia and the Empire of the Phoenix.

New Byzantium shall reserve the right to enforce its own territorial borders and protect its territory.

People: The nature of the New Byzantine people, in particular their right to independence and their fundamental freedoms - freedom of choice, freedom from tyranny, and freedom from violence and deprivation - as well as their intrinsic human rights which cannot be denied under any circumstances.

The people of New Byzantium are peaceful and originated from a time of adversity where they banded together to preserve their future and common welfare.

Government: The New Byzantine people's right to rule themselves with a duly elected government of the people, for the people, and by the people to represent their interests and welfare at heart. This government shall renounce aggressive war as instruments of foreign policy, shall respect international law and universal human rights, and shall be held ultimately accountable to the people.

The government of New Byzantium is led by an Emperor of the People, for New Byzantium is an Empire of the People and thus democratic in nature.

Sovereignty: Internal, in New Byzantium's right to conduct its own domestic affairs free of interference in a manner it so sees fit. External, in New Byzantium's right to conduct its own foreign affairs in relation to other governments, nations, states and countries free of interference in a manner it so sees fit.

New Byzantium's existence as a fully independent and sovereign state has been affirmed by the recognition of the Hindu Raj, the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia, and Texas.

Proposition 69 also includes, as an addendum, a new portion of the Constitution of New Byzantium, namely the Preamble:

We the sovereign people of New Byzantium, in order to build a just and humane society and establish a government that shall embody our ideals and aspirations, save succeeding generations from the scourge of war which too many times in our lifetime has brought untold sorrow unto us, promote the common good, conserve and develop our patrimony, and secure to ourselves and our posterity the blessings of independence and democracy under the rule of law and a regime of truth, justice, freedom, love, equality, and peace, do ordain and promulgate this Constitution. *


[OOC: *That is basically the Preamble of the Philippine Constitution and the Preamble to the United Nations Charter.]

[Czernobog]

Roosevelt's Speech



'Today, is a great day for our nation. But, a black marr remains. The seccesionist state of New Athenia, and the lies of its Emperor Norton. Today, he lies. Yesterday, he lied. Tomorrow, he will doubtless lie again. Let us tear apart his lies, and dissect his mind.

First, he claims that Daimones I Eliphas, hero of the War of Spanish Treachery, was a war criminal. That could not possibly be further from the truth. Did not the Russians, when Napoleon invaded, perform Scorched Earth tactics? Eliphas did likewise. Furthermore, when I met him at the Superbia Military Academy, he was a fine, upstanding man. But Norton believes otherwise. Such is the mind of one who hates war.

Second, he claims that New Athenia was a loose confederation of city-states, rather than the fascist nightmare we encountered. Such are the lies of a man who hates our glorious nation.

Third, contrary to Norton's lies, the War of Spanish Treachery was not begun by us - we did not attack them in Rio. I say this as one who has seen the un-falsified military orders from the period, and I am totally convinced of their verity. Let those who doubt this look at them themselves - they will find the truth willing.

Fourth, we did attempt a ceasefire in the War of Spanish Treachery.

Fifth, we did not invade Shroomalia for Gold, Oil, Diamonds - that was the doing of the anarcho-capitalistic, greed-emboldened Texans.

Sixth, there is no need to bring more evidence into this.

Norton is a liar, and everything he says should be taken with a grain of salt.'

[Siege]

INDIA TV

In Technicolor!

The people of New Byzantium have chosen, and chosen well. In an important plebiscite held today all over the West Coast of the Athenian continent the citizens of the most prosperous of the three Athenian successor states have overwhelmingly decided to accept the so-called 'Proposition 69', which outlines the nature of New Byzantium as an independent state and declares formally its sovereignty from the remainder of the Athenian continent.

Representatives from the Raj have shown their happiness with the decision of the new nation. The Maharajah has sent a congratulatory telegram to the ruler of New Byzantium, Emperor Norton, a rare honour that has befallen only very few world leaders. Similarly the Advisory Council of the Raj has congratulated the legislative body and the electorate of the nation with their masterful victory. "The people of New Byzantium had great adversity to overcome" the Council's telegram reads, "but they have triumphed over every obstacle, driven by an honest desire to join the international community of nations as an equal and a friend, instead of a pariah and enemy. Through hard, dedicated work you have overcome your past and your present, and surely with your boundless energy and the help of your friends abroad, you will master the future as well."

The Advisory Council simultaneously had preciously few good words to spare for the rhetoric uttered by Franklin Roosevelt, the leader of the Empire of the Phoenix. "These are clearly the words of a man who has not noticed that time has passed him by. He is the voice of Old Athenia: warlike, aggressive, and heedless of the will of the people; in this case the people of New Byzantium who clearly desire a peaceful future for their nation. He chastises them for, and I am not making this up, hating war! It is the belief of this council that Roosevelt represents the past, not the future, of the Athenian continent: a man who, despite pretending to acknowledge the monstrousness of the Athenian state, still worships the criminals who steered that Leviathan and caused untold misery both at home and abroad. It is impossible to condemn Athenia yet laud its rulers - and yet he does so. What are we to make of this? What are we to make of his anti-Byzantine rhetoric? Does this sound like a man eager to lead the Athenian successor states toward a peaceful future of mutual coexistence... A man who is to make a 'Freedom Conference' work? Truly, these are questions our colleagues in Paris and Moscow, Canberra and San Francisco should ponder deeply."

[Shroom Man 777]

Roosevelt's Speech

http://history.sandiego.edu/cdr2/WW2Pics/04500.GIF

'Today, is a great day for our nation. But, a black marr remains. The seccesionist state of New Athenia, and the lies of its Emperor Norton. Today, he lies. Yesterday, he lied. Tomorrow, he will doubtless lie again. Let us tear apart his lies, and dissect his mind.

First, he claims that Daimones I Eliphas, hero of the War of Spanish Treachery, was a war criminal. That could not possibly be further from the truth. Did not the Russians, when Napoleon invaded, perform Scorched Earth tactics? Eliphas did likewise. Furthermore, when I met him at the Superbia Military Academy, he was a fine, upstanding man. But Norton believes otherwise. Such is the mind of one who hates war.

Second, he claims that New Athenia was a loose confederation of city-states, rather than the fascist nightmare we encountered. Such are the lies of a man who hates our glorious nation.

Third, contrary to Norton's lies, the War of Spanish Treachery was not begun by us - we did not attack them in Rio. I say this as one who has seen the un-falsified military orders from the period, and I am totally convinced of their verity. Let those who doubt this look at them themselves - they will find the truth willing.

Fourth, we did attempt a ceasefire in the War of Spanish Treachery.

Fifth, we did not invade Shroomalia for Gold, Oil, Diamonds - that was the doing of the anarcho-capitalistic, greed-emboldened Texans.

Sixth, there is no need to bring more evidence into this.

Norton is a liar, and everything he says should be taken with a grain of salt.

Emperor Norton's Televised Address



"I, Emperor Norton I of New Byzantium, can disprove President Roosevelt's lies, his lies that I am a liar and thus prove that he is the liar who lies.

I shall do so by reading the articles of impeachment that saw one of Roosevelt's own predecessors, the second-last President of Old Athenia John Coleman, successfully removed from office. Here are the following charges:

The Athenian Sun
Your Fair and Balanced alternative

Athenia City - Athenia's most courageous congressman, Representative Aaron Absuras (H-OH) read Articles of Impeachment against President John Coleman on the House floor today.

In a move not reported by anyone in the mainstream media and dismissed through the government as "impotent bloviating by a nobody", Representative Absuras read a dozen charges against the President alleging him of knowingfully ordering war crimes, lying to the Athenian people to get them into war, illegally sidestepping the Senate in his appointments, and other things.

Among the charges were:

• Authorizing the use of Wei-X against Africans, which Mr Absuras called "a crime against humanity"
• Misleading the people into thinking this was a humanitarian mission, when it appears that the real purpose was GOD
• Appointing the madman Lord Commander Ozai without consulting the advice of the Senate
• Refusing to brief Congress on his secret projects
• Sidestepping Congress' power of the purse by materializing funds out of thin air
• Illegally invading Rio, starting a devastating war with the European Concord
• Illegally invading Mexico and slaughtering hundreds of thousands
• Illegally invading Africa and slaughtering hundreds of thousands
• Negligently ignoring the advice of his State Department

*snip*

THE VOICE OF ATHENIA

JOHN COLEMAN IMPEACHED

John Coleman has been impeached. The efforts of Representative Aaron Absuras managed to get him impeached, and replaced with former General Desado Ascendian.

*snip*

That is the truth, and the truth led to the impeachment of an old Athenian President in Superbia.

As for the matter of New Athenia, as they say it is the winner who gets to write the history books and against the Empire of the Phoenix, the New Athenians did not stand a chance.

Be that as it may, more recent information does prove that New Athenia had degenerated from a loose confederation of city-states into a fascist nightmare. And at the head of the New Athenian Ministry of Peace - their secret police - was Lord Commander Ozai. This man was the same one who was a ranking officer of the old Athenian military, the man Superbia assigned to command the many battles Athenia fought in its many war, the man who has been tied to the use of Wei X in Africa and other worse weapons. Clearly, this is an example of the fine upstanding men produced by Superbia's Military Academies.

Yes, I am a man who hates war. I've seen what war has done to our peoples, and I swear never to embrace such poisonous action. Hopefully, other reasonable men and women will follow the same recourse in abhorring senseless carnage.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent."

[Shroom Man 777]

SHROOMWARD AIR FORCE BASE OPEN HOUSE & AIR SHOW, CALIFORNIA



"Mommy, mommy! Look at the pretty planes!" a little girl squealed delightedly as she pointed at the sky.

"Awww, how sweet," her mom replied. "Hey sweetie, want some cotton candy?"

"Cotton candy? Yaaaaay!"

[Heretic]

He paused for a moment, smiling and looked at his Texan counterparts.

"You know what our new alliance stands for, a better future for all our people - a future not influenced by war loving raving lunatics, and the great powers that fight for dominion over the planet." Anastasiy said and looked the Emperor straight in the eye. "What say you Emperor Norton, will you join us in building a better future for our children?"

Through the whole duration of the constitution signing, Michael Ire was quiet. There were many firsts for the new nation of Texas. It was the first time that they helped a nation bring about sovereignty peacefully. It was a first that Texas cooperated in alliance with a socialist nation. It was a first that Texas was an original founding member of an alliance (ok, second time, but Athenia doesn't exist no more to give that record), and it was a first that Michael Ire wore a suit since high school...




At the reporter's lounge

During the press conference time when all the leaders went to give messages to their distinguished nations on this very enormous event, Michael Ire went to the Texan National Television (owned by FunCorp) station outside of the palace into a small corner garden of shrubbery and tomatoes, Ire cleared his throats and began when the reels were rolling.

"Ladies and gentlemen, young and old, poor and rich, Texans and friends all over, this day is a day of a new era for world foreign relations. It was just a decade ago, or less, when the most common way to greet a nation was by the gun. It was just a decade ago when imperialism was still in its climax, when the old empires were strong roaring machines. It was just a decade ago when every day was a massive conflict in North America or in Asia. It was just a decade ago when Athenia was whole and a fierce threat and Imperial China still had an empire, its territory, and us, when Bo Jin Cheng slaughtered thousands to feed his mutant farms. It was just a decade ago.

But humankind is quick to its feet and stop itself from destruction. It was just a decade when a single mutant said 'This is wrong' and ended Bo Jin Cheng's reign, for the Sovereign of China to become democratic, for France to allow a voice to its colonies, and when the Raj turned from a menacing wildfire into a beacon to the world with its humanitarian aid and kindness to Southern China by saving them from Maoist tyranny. It was just a decade for Brazil to help increase the overall peace of the world. It was just a decade when the Spanish Empire allowed free trade with us in our time of need, when it was easier if they kept to themselves... and it was just a decade when capitalists and communists united to talk peacefully("with the gradual triumph for capitalism soon." Michael ire said under a low breath, looking through his notecards..)

Today, this is the end of that decade, the year 1963. New Byzantium shall become a free land of free people wanting to break off the circle of the old Athenian ways of constant war and oppression. I won't lie or sugar-coat, but Emperor Norton 1 is a nutcase. He rides a bicycle to places instead of taking a limousine or personal aircraft, eats at the "finest burger stalls", wears archaic general clothes, gives decrees and edicts to individuals personally, and has eccentric behaviors. But hell, if he is the sanest and most benign leader in all of former Athenia, then that says something about the current state of the place.

As for the recent speech by Mr. Roosevelt, as much as I want to gleefully thank him for calling our nation and our people "anarcho-capitalistic, greed-emboldened Texans", which is a compliment to us, I must say that Texas didn't invade either. We had to regain lost assets that Athenia used carelessly in the invasion of Shroomalia. Sure, we looted and slaughtered. But we regret it, and is thankful that the Raj and Brazil got us to our senses. Sadly, that shall stain our nation's history as the most brutal atrocity we have done. Not only have we destroyed innocent lives in an innocent nation in hopes of a new imperialist doctrine, or the fact that we got into debt, but we have tainted the ideal of capitalism. Capitalism was the idea of free markets, where a milkman one day can become a corporate machine the next through hard work and networking, the idea that little Tommy can put up a lemonade stand without having a commissar shoot him for turf violation; not mercenaries going in nations and slaughtering children for an oil field, not corporations doing behind the door deals with foreign polities and though that isn't illegal or immoral, per se, doing so for war is. Yes, we have our share of atrocities and we are sorry. But I hope the nations, whether it be France, Mexico, Shroomalia, Russia, or any other nation we transgressed in hopes of imperial gains, shall forgive us. Ok, Fat Mao and Kim Jong little baby Il, fuck you, because no one cares for you. May you commies die in hellholes. I had no regrets in stomping your asses.

But anyway, all in all, Roosevelt is a big fat liar.

Now, I must go back to party. Details on this new Yugo-Texas-Byzantine-small nation alliance later. Adios."

Michael Ire waved the cameras to stop and went back inside for the party.

[Magister Militum]

TF1


Télévision Française 1
Your trusted source for all news

Speaking for Emperor Napoleon V, the Grand Chamberlain of the Imperial Household, Duke Jean-Jacques-Vincent de la Tour d'Auvergne, offered praise for the recent actions by His Byzantine Majesty Emperor Norton I and the government of New Byzantium to establish a stable a peaceful nation. "His Imperial Majesty has been quite pleased by the recent turn of events regarding New Byzantium," noted Duke de la Tour d'Auvergne. "Rather than continuing down the autocratic and self-destructive path of its predecessor or the hardline rhetoric of its sister-states, New Byzantium has decided to move on and create a government that truly represents its people". The Grand Chamberlain noted that both the Emperor and the Council of State hope to reestablish total diplomatic relations with New Byzantium soon.

When asked about the inflammatory speech made by Empire of the Phoenix President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Duke de la Tour d'Auvergne said, "His Imperial Majesty is not particularly impressed or interested in the insane babble of a hardline reactionary who pretends that his nation maintains the power of Old Athenia. If President Roosevelt continues to push his revisionist historical views and pompous grandstanding, then he should be prepared to receive a rude awakening during his World Forum".

[Czernobog]

Superbia

Chancellor Roosevelt was tired of this. They lied, they mocked and insulted him and his great nation. Generals Jacob Featherston and Theodore Roosevelt were there with him, as well as his body-guards.

But he would end that.

'Gentlemen,' he said. 'I am about to make a historic announcement. Hear my worlds, people of the world.'

'A house divided against itself cannot stand,' Roosevelt said. 'Such is the sad case of the world. The world that we treasure, that we cannot bear losing. Too many peoples are divided against each other, formed into camps that hate and revile, and are prepared to go to war with each other, over the slightest offence. The World Forum is an attempt, to hopefully mend these differences, so that one world, united, can form.'

'But heed my words furthermore. I spoke of divided houses - such is also the case of New Byzantium. I seek peaceful re-unification, but that seems that that will only happen when Norton dies. I do not wish to cause a war, when it is not in the interests of justice and humanity, as was with the Phoenix Clique of New Athenia, a group of businessmen, politicians and generals motivated solely for power, who sought to make a mad future - a boot stamping on a human face for all eternity - possible.'

'I consider the seeking of peace the noblest endeavour - but war is always a possibility, and one I must keep in my mind. Thus was the case of Daimones I Eliphas, no criminal, but a brave an good man, a father to his men. He fought to keep the peace in Rio, but was betrayed by the Spaniards. Who fought to save our country from the Japanese invasion of Los Angeles and San Francisco. Such is the fate of some men - to die unmourned and unsung except by those who remember them.'

'Such is the fate of those who fail.'

[Heretic]

Superbia

Chancellor Roosevelt was tired of this. They lied, they mocked and insulted him and his great nation. Generals Jacob Featherston and Theodore Roosevelt were there with him, as well as his body-guards.

But he would end that.

'Gentlemen,' he said. 'I am about to make a historic announcement. Hear my worlds, people of the world.'

'A house divided against itself cannot stand,' Roosevelt said. 'Such is the sad case of the world. The world that we treasure, that we cannot bear losing. Too many peoples are divided against each other, formed into camps that hate and revile, and are prepared to go to war with each other, over the slightest offence. The World Forum is an attempt, to hopefully mend these differences, so that one world, united, can form.'

'But heed my words furthermore. I spoke of divided houses - such is also the case of New Byzantium. I seek peaceful re-unification, but that seems that that will only happen when Norton dies. I do not wish to cause a war, when it is not in the interests of justice and humanity, as was with the Phoenix Clique of New Athenia, a group of businessmen, politicians and generals motivated solely for power, who sought to make a mad future - a boot stamping on a human face for all eternity - possible.'

'I consider the seeking of peace the noblest endeavour - but war is always a possibility, and one I must keep in my mind. Thus was the case of Daimones I Eliphas, no criminal, but a brave an good man, a father to his men. He fought to keep the peace in Rio, but was betrayed by the Spaniards. Who fought to save our country from the Japanese invasion of Los Angeles and San Francisco. Such is the fate of some men - to die unmourned and unsung except by those who remember them.'

'Such is the fate of those who fail.'

Michael Ire, now back from the party and peace signing, was in his office jotting down the arrest warrants of some high-official hippie commie dudes when he felt a bad vibe. Like a cowboy knowing when a bull was gonna go berserk when it didn't get laid during the mating season. Picking up a piece of paper and getting his handy-dandy pen, Ire wrote:

Dear FDR,

Are you up to something? Because recently, you Athenians have been hush-hush on things and it's getting suspicious.

From,
The anarcho-capitalistic greedy pig Michael Ire.