Major Britannic

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Siege
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Major Britannic

Post by Siege »

Behold the magnificence! Recovered from the archives, reformatted, rewritten, expanded and made up to date with the current canon, I give you:

Major Britannic

“I do this for the good of the British Empire!” The Lord jutted two fingers at the cloaked figure in front of him, the cigar in-between his index- and middle finger still smoldering.

“The British Empire?” Montesquieu sounded honestly baffled. The poet-anarchists copper mask gleamed in the flickering light of the many fires that raged around them. “Wake up Uther. That sun set a long time ago. There is a British Empire no more.”

Britannic scowled. “A minor detail, you pedantic hippie!”


Born in 1874, during the reign of Queen Victoria, to impoverished gentry, Sir Uther Armagh-Strathclyde is one of the oldest living persons in Britain, and the oldest living veteran who can claim to have served in the War of the Worlds as well as both World Wars and every single other war fought by the United Kingdom in the 20th and early 21st centuries. There is a simple reason why a 135 year old man can still fight with the best of them in wars throughout the world: Sir Uther is an immortal, and one at that who has served his nation ever since he signed up with Her Majesty's Cavalry at 16. It was not readily apparent at the time that he was an immortal, of course. Young Uther was in fact wounded several times during early colonial campaigns in Africa and indeed seemed all too human, emerging with a collection of scrapes, scars, bruises and broken bones, but always alive. During the ceaseless border conflicts and colonial struggles fought by the Empire at the time he did however distinguish himself not only through valor but also through an uncanny talent for survival.

It was in late 1894 that Sir Uther attracted the attention of the Most Uncustomary Office of the Supernumerary. Stationed at the time in the Cape Colony he and his unit were tasked with the retrieval of a mysterious object that had come hurtling from the heavens, to crash somewhere in the South African hinterland. He lead his cavalry troop on a harrowing mission into Boer territory where he retrieved the alien Ronal Erythraeum, who would later become known as the Lord Fahrenheit, and despite ceaseless attacks by Afrikaaner commandos managed to make it back to the Cape in one piece. The High Command then tasked him by telegram to accompany the Martian to London, where he remained until the main Martian invasion force made planetfall in 1900.

Uther was during the War of the Worlds subordinated to the Supernumerary, and eventually lead the commando raid on the Horshell Common facility, the annihilation of which destroyed the Martian ability to sustain themselves in Earth's hostile environment. Soon the Martian invasion force and the Warlord Dzigai who had led them perished, securing a future for humankind on planet Earth and cementing Sir Uther's position as a hero of Britain. For services rendered to the crown he received a peerage, as did most other members of the Supernumerary at the time, and he was offered the chance to continue serving with that extraordinary group of individuals, a chance Uther took, having become quite enamored with the group as a whole, and in specific with Jocelyn Duvalier, the daughter of His Grace Aristide Duvalier, the 23rd Duke of Avalon, Lord Warlock of the Crown and Master of Gargoyle Manor, and as such the leader of the Supernumerary.

Over the years and missions that followed the gruff commando and the high-born witch drew ever more closely together. Although her father the Duke had misgivings at first – young Uther could hardly be called polite company since, as Kipling had famously put it, “single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints”, and Uther had seen little but war and barracks since his 16th birthday. But Aristide Duvalier had long since come to accept that his little girl had a mind of his own and so eventually gave the affair his blessing. Indeed there was even a wedding planned – but alas, faith, and Imperial Germany, intervened.

The Supernumerary was incredibly active during the Great War, and so was Uther. A Major at 40, he served with distinction even though the once-proud ranks of the Most Uncustomary Office were slowly whittled away by the horrors of trench warfare and the grueling battlefields of the First World War. Uther and Jocely managed to survive until 1916. During the Somme Offensive, however, their luck ran out. Like so many British soldiers the small Supernumerary unit he was leading was caught in a surprise counter-attack, spearheaded by the infamous German techno-sorceror Stalag Luft and his jet-black airship, the Heimdall. Uther and Jocelyn were caught in the midst of a bombardment of lethal mystically enchanted chlorine gas, and should like many hundreds of other unfortunate soldiers have died right then and there. But Uther did not die. He survived the barrage, emerging from the choking clouds of poison gas carrying the lifeless body of his beloved.

There circulate many theories that attempt to explain Uther's miraculous survival. One is that the gas itself somehow affected Uther, changed him, that death itself bonded with his being in such a dramatic and fundamental fashion that he could never be killed again. Another is that Sir Uther's indomitable spirit would simply not allow his body to die, and that it is this spirit which gives him his unnatural strength and longevity. Another yet is that his immortality is an act of the collective British subconscious, a manifestation of its unwillingness to yield to any enemy – not even to death itself. Indeed, many theories exist attempting to explain his condition, most of them unsatisfactory. For very few people know about the last few moments Uther and Jocelyn shared even as he breathed in the lethal fumes; how he urged her to make her escape and how she refused to do so; about the promises they made to one another; about the words of power she spoke, surrendering her life in ancient oaths so that he might live.

It was right then and there in those trenches in Picardy, France, that Sir Uther died, and Major Britannic was born. The death of the love of his life is in a sense symbolic for his own transformation into an immortal, unchanging megalith of a man: having known little but war and conflict for fully half his life, Jocelyn perhaps represented his final hope for something better. After her death, he became a bitter recluse of a man who embraced the violent, soldierly side of himself. Britannic – a name he adopted after he avenged the death of his fiancee through the destruction of the Heimdall and the killing of Stalag Luft – has since lived an ascetic life, rarely makes public appearances and instead dedicates his life to the defense of the United Kingdom in the myriad wars and conflicts the 20th century had yet in store.

Major Britannic is an immortal, meaning he cannot die. Or at least, he is so resistant to damage that nothing has ever managed to kill him -- and Major Britannic has been through a lot. At the Sword Beach landing during D-Day he was struck directly in the face by a German 88mm shell. This appeared to have no effect on him but to aggravate the irate Lord; minutes later, Britannic was seen ripping apart a Nazi bunker with his bare hands.

In 1961, Britannic was once again reunited with Lord Fahrenheit as they both were aboard the HMS Thunderchild, the enormous British spaceship built for Operation Pebble Island, the British invasion of Mars. Uther proved one of the few things brought by the humans that could withstand a direct strike by a Martian heat ray, and after the British forces were driven from the Cydonia Labyrinth Major Britannic remained behind as a rearguard, giving the RACKET troopers sufficient time to withdraw to orbit. Britannic then rode a modified Blue Streak ballistic missile up to orbit and escaped intact, proving that his indestructibility extended to other worlds as well. British Supermarine Starfang starfighters then retrieved him from the vacuum before the invasion force retreated back to Earth, launching several Black Knight atomic missiles at the Labyrinth as a parting gift.

In the 70's Britannic was forced to team up with his arch-rival Montesquieu to stop servants of Chernobog from launching a rocket carrying a deadly chemical payload at London in an attempt to, through the deaths of millions of people kickstart their black apocalypse (it was later pointed out that the cultists were hopelessly mistaken in the metaphysical role of the Black God). Britannic stopped the missile by boarding the rocket seconds before launch and sabotaging it in mid-flight. Jumping off the rocket high in the stratosphere, he plunged down to Earth like a brick as the missile exploded high above him, incinerating the chemicals in the process. Britannic hit the ground at terminal velocity and required three days to dig himself out of a crater in Norway, but survived otherwise intact.

More recently, Britannic was hurled through three skyscrapers during a fight with Eugen Lebensborn. Minutes later, the lord was seen throwing cars at the Aryan shouting “the devil with that, Nazi scum!” before pummeling the Nazi's face with his fists.

Current Status: By birth Uther is entitled to the use of the honorific 'sir'. After the War of the Worlds he was awarded with a life peerage which means he has a seat in the House of Lords. He rarely attends the meetings of the House however, instead continuing to serve with the Royal Army. Uther remains as indestructible as always, and is in fact considered to be part of the United Kingdom's strategic deterrent, a one-man army capable of dealing with any conventional threat and many unconventional threats as well.

Powers and Abilities: Major Britannic is immortal, or so close to it that there's little need to call it any other way. Nothing has ever managed to inflict physical damage to him. In addition to his immortality Major Britannic packs one hell of a punch: he is capable of tearing concrete with his bare hands, and punching people so hard they are rendered airborne for miles. He cannot be detect, let alone read, by telepathy or other methods of mind-manipulation. He can throw very heavy objects and survive falling off very tall buildings. He is very tall and very broad, and has a grizzled and extremely imposing presence that is frequently described as 'larger than life'. Other than this however he has none of the usual superhuman tricks up his sleeve: he cannot fly, or shoot lasers from his eyes, or command the elements.

Weaknesses: Britannic is the product of another, vastly less politically correct, age. Whilst he has grudgingly learned some of today's sensibilities, he hates pacifists with a passion: 'Hippie scum!' is one catch-phrase not exclusively reserved for his opponents. Moreover, his lack of 'super' attributes beyond his strength and indestructibility mean that in fights with opponents who are so endowed Britannic cannot simply rely on pummeling them into dust.

Relations: Britannic is a famous icon in the United Kingdom. A famous photograph has pictured him draped in the Union Jack standing on the top of Tower Bridge giving a salute to a squadron of Supermarine Spitfighters performing a low-altitude flyby during WW2. He has the absolute confidence of the UK and a not-insignificant influence on its military policies: when Britannic speaks, most politicians will do well to listen.

There are a number of European heroes that Britannic cannot get along with very well. Worthy of specific mention is the poet-anarchist Montesquieu: Britannic's relation with the Frenchman is one made of strenuous love and hate. On occasion they have teamed up to defeat greater threats, but Britannic will just as eagerly attempt to pummel the Frenchman (if only just for the usually horrid poetry she produces during combat), even if he knows full-well that he cannot really harm Montesquieu anymore than Montesquieu can harm him.

Britannic doesn't have much to do with superheroes from other parts of the world. On occasion he has fought alongside them, and a few times against some of them as well. He has exchanged a few words with Archwind, but unlike that American hero and many of his compatriots Britannic is not overly interested in fighting to make the world a better place: As long as it doesn't directly interest the United Kingdom it doesn't interest Major Britannic, so he is not particularly interested in the exploits of many of his super-kin.

Britannic to this day has an intimate, and quite secretive, relationship with House Duvalier, which has produced some of the greatest magicians of the British islands. Aristide Duvalier has long since passed away, and so has Jocelyn, but unbeknownst to most of the outside world Britannic is the father of the current heads of house, the twins Amelia and Atherton Duvalier, who are his children with Jocelyn, born in 1915.
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Off naked Chatham show,
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Booted Vulture
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Re: Major Britannic

Post by Booted Vulture »

:D "Hippie scum!" crunch!

Has the 'modern sensibilities' he's been forced to adopt include stuff like 'casual rascism is bad'?

I'm confused by the origin of his powers; was he simply a badass normal before the enchanted gas incident? Or did he have some measure of immortality before that?
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Re: Major Britannic

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

OUT-FUCKING-STANDING! GARRRR! HIPPIE/NAZI/COMMIE/MARTIAN SCUM! :mrgreen:

Major Britannic was ALWAYS a badass, even during day one as one of our "first generation" characters with that HeroPix (or whatever) picture of him with goggles and a cigar. Total badass. The subsequent revisions haven't pussified him in any way at all, but merely just underscored his sheer badassery. Badass Britannic!



Just a few typoes I've seen, though:
Born in 1874, during the reign of Queen Victory
Shouldn't that be Queen Victoria?
Youg Uther was in fact wounded several times during early colonial campaigns in Africa
Young
Booted Vulture wrote::D "Hippie scum!" crunch!

Has the 'modern sensibilities' he's been forced to adopt include stuff like 'casual rascism is bad'?
I sure do bloody hope so!
I'm confused by the origin of his powers; was he simply a badass normal before the enchanted gas incident? Or did he have some measure of immortality before that?
I'm very sure he was a badass normal before that. The article really states that he transformed into what he now is because of what happened in that horrible incident.

It was a pretty sad thing, the new details in Britannic's backstory and origins, very tragic Sieges. :(

But goddamn! Blue Streek! Starfang starfighters! I'd imagine they'd look a lot like these babies.

Eugen Lebensborn!

And he has... he has children. Uther, how unexpected. Despite being a gruff taciturn bastard who probably only knows how to express himself by ruining shit, I'm sure he very much loves his kids because they're all that's left of his dear Jocelyn. :)

I wonder how Lord Fahrenheit feels about the Brits nuking his own homeworld. I also wonder if Haitian tinpot dictator and voodoo magic-mon Papa Doc Duvalier is, like, a bastard child of one of the other Duvaliers.
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Re: Major Britannic

Post by Ford Prefect »

Shroom Man 777 wrote:Shouldn't that be Queen Victoria?
Not any more. ;)
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Re: Major Britannic

Post by Siege »

Booted Vulture wrote:Has the 'modern sensibilities' he's been forced to adopt include stuff like 'casual rascism is bad'?
One would presume so, though with his open disdain toward pretty much anyone and everything it might be hard to tell...
I'm confused by the origin of his powers; was he simply a badass normal before the enchanted gas incident? Or did he have some measure of immortality before that?
Since there was no such thing as testing for a metahuman predisposition back in Victorian times that is quite up in the air, but according to most theories he was just an ordinary human, though an extraordinary lucky and/or skilled one. Certainly the impressive collection of scars and broken bones Uther collected in his early years would seem to indicate he was far from invulnerable back then.
Shroom Man 777 wrote:It was a pretty sad thing, the new details in Britannic's backstory and origins, very tragic Sieges.
Thanks. I wanted to have something more going for him than 'angry guy who smashes things'. Britannic is more than Comix' Hulk, after all.
I wonder how Lord Fahrenheit feels about the Brits nuking his own homeworld.
He wouldn't like it, I imagine, but it's not like he could do much about it.
"Nick Fury. Old-school cold warrior. The original black ops hardcase. Long before I stepped off a C-130 at Da Nang, Fury and his team had set fire to half of Asia." - Frank Castle

For, now De Ruyter's topsails
Off naked Chatham show,
We dare not meet him with our fleet -
And this the Dutchmen know!
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Re: Major Britannic

Post by Magister Militum »

Ford Prefect wrote:
Shroom Man 777 wrote:Shouldn't that be Queen Victoria?
Not any more. ;)
What have you people done with Queen Victoria?! :D
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Re: Major Britannic

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Siege wrote:
Shroom Man 777 wrote:It was a pretty sad thing, the new details in Britannic's backstory and origins, very tragic Sieges.
Thanks. I wanted to have something more going for him than 'angry guy who smashes things'. Britannic is more than Comix' Hulk, after all.
Yes. Since Comix Hulk is in my purview. :twisted:
I wonder how Lord Fahrenheit feels about the Brits nuking his own homeworld.
He wouldn't like it, I imagine, but it's not like he could do much about it.
The perspective of a Martian Lord in Earth exile, working for the British Crown and the likes of RACKET and the like, is most intriguing. *hint hint* ;)
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Re: Major Britannic

Post by Ford Prefect »

Magister Militum wrote:What have you people done with Queen Victoria?! :D
I think actually calling Victoria 'Queen Victory' would probably be pushing it too far, and I've pretty much accepted 'Tony Blair does herbology as a hobby'.
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