YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

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Shroom Man 777
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YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Post your feats and SPECKTACKLES here!


Today, I administered and received an enema to and from my classmate.

It involved a jug of soapy water, a long rubber tube, a whole sache of lubricant. And careful insertion into the anus.

Then a slow withdrawal.


There is slight momentary discomfort, and then feels like your lower bowels is getting filled. It's like the sensation when you have to feel like you have to take a shit - minus the... well, the actuality of shit. Since it's not really shit. But water. Unless there's shit already inside your colon. In my case, there was.

We didn't fully use the prescribed 1000ml of liquid on either of us. We just used a littel.

Had we used moar, no doubt that urge would've been more urgent.

Needless to say, I spent some time in the toilet voiding myself.
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Destructionator »

dude that's fucked up

I have been doing pure awesome. Over the weekend, I rewatched the ENTIRE SERIES of Mobile Suit Gundam. Today, thus far, I have watched 20 episodes of Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam and am still going strong into the night!

good shows

good marathon viewing
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by RRoan »

I beat Through The Fire And Flames on expert yesterday. Is that good enough?
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Invictus »

I passed a driving test today.
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Artemis »

My skin glowed. Or at least it felt like it.
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Peregrin »

Today I've eaten some candy, returned from a 10-day vacation in the northwest of Jutland by car and catamaran ferry. I am very tired from spending six hours travelling from one end of the country to another.
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Siege »

Artemis wrote:My skin glowed. Or at least it felt like it.
Don't worry comrade, it's just the rrradiation.
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by NoXion »

I went to barbcue in the countryside near Aylesbury yesterday, and haven't been doing much aside from inhaling the smoke of a certain green organic substance.
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

I helped my mammy, whose a pathologist, dissect some organs - including a pair of testes AND a breast.

Tomorrow, and for the next two weeks, I shall be working at the hostipal as a nurse. In the pediatric ward! CHILDRENS! :twisted:
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Siege »

Shroom Man 777 wrote:AND a breast.
Did it bleed?

Myself, I got through a rainy sunday by being on trains and writing articles for work. Not exactly how I'd envisioned spending the weekend, but oh well. At least I still get paid for writing stuff.
"Nick Fury. Old-school cold warrior. The original black ops hardcase. Long before I stepped off a C-130 at Da Nang, Fury and his team had set fire to half of Asia." - Frank Castle

For, now De Ruyter's topsails
Off naked Chatham show,
We dare not meet him with our fleet -
And this the Dutchmen know!
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Well... it was all yellowish because it was full of fat, and it was soaked in formalin preservative.


Seriously, though. Half a day from now, I will start on my ordeal wherein I shall spend eight hours a day working in the hospital - for two weeks straight!

GODDAMN!

Gentlemen, this will be a momentous undertaking! We will be the greatest generation, as we storm the trenches of Normandy to bring freedom to the land, to defeat oppression, and to save the world from tyranny! God willing, we will have lunch in Paris!
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Grafs »

Today was my last day of French classes. And the fear of losing communication skills and starving to death looms over the horizon. Shroomz, I'LL be the one in France bringing "a bit of the fight" to Continental Europe, God willing. :D

Hey Siege, mind if I drop by your town in a few weeks? :lol:
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Siege »

Grafs wrote:Hey Siege, mind if I drop by your town in a few weeks? :lol:
None at all, I'd be delighted to show you around. Wouldn't know what you'd be looking for in this particular corner of Europe, but hey, to each his own :).
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For, now De Ruyter's topsails
Off naked Chatham show,
We dare not meet him with our fleet -
And this the Dutchmen know!
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Artemis »

I skipped work today. Called in sick, said I had a migraine, which was true, but I could have conceivably still worked. I think I'm just starting to understand the joy of skipping work. On the other hand, I'm in the house by myself, the rest of my friends are working, and I have a jittery, unwelcome feeling of impending disaster.

I think I'm gonna hide on the internet today. Nothing too dangerous can get me here.
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Fucking immunoglobins and dick-sucking prednisones and Euro-Ions and diphenhydramines and betamethasones... fuck you!

I'm done with that, and now I've pronned and now I'm exhausted and tired as fuck and my feet hurt and I'm going to sleep! GOOD NIGHT (MORNING)
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Twitchy5[Doc] »

wow, I'm glad I have summer break :D .

I slept in till 4pm.
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Today was total shit...


WHORES WHORES WHORES WHORES WHORES WHORES! WHORES WHORES WHORES WHORES WHORES WHORES!


Their breasts will bleed... I swear.
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Siege »

Man, I hope your patients never catch wind of your antics on the Internet. I know I'd be rather concerned* if I knew I was going to be treated by someone who ceaselessly raved about whores and bleeding breasts on the Web.

* This is an euphemism.
"Nick Fury. Old-school cold warrior. The original black ops hardcase. Long before I stepped off a C-130 at Da Nang, Fury and his team had set fire to half of Asia." - Frank Castle

For, now De Ruyter's topsails
Off naked Chatham show,
We dare not meet him with our fleet -
And this the Dutchmen know!
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Ford Prefect »

While we all know and love Shroomy for the raving lunatic that he is, he's apparently a rather professional and serious nurse when on the job, with a superior manner than his fellow students, even if he does sleep in class. Though I don't think he'd admit it personally, how he described some of the stuff he's done as a part of his course strikes me that way.

Admittedly, making fun at the dismembered body parts of some dead guy is probably pushing it, but his mother does that too, so I think it's allowed. ;)

And I wrote up a totally sexy essay about tort and negligence which is almost gauranteed to get full marks. Man, I know why I want to take law - I'm good at it.
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Twitchy5[Doc] »

Shroom, that has got to be THE most random thing I have ever heard.
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Heretic »

Mr. Twitchy, you haven't seen it all, yet. I thought so the first time I heard him, and boy, oh boy. You haven't even scratched the surface.
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

Well, our Instructor (#1) was an annoying and temperamental asshole.

I kind of made a boo-boo in tallying the IV fluid amount of my patient and I got confused and all (second day here) and decided to ask another Instructor (#2) for some help in the computation. That made #1 have a bitch fit and shout at me... something-something "am I not good enough for you" or some shit like that since I apparently went over his head by asking another Instructor who wasn't in charge of my class.

Well, excuse me sir fagcock, I didn't mean to offend your sensibilities by getting some clarification from another Instructor so I wouldn't have to disturb you and incur yet another bitch fit.

I can see his point - I should've taken his word for it when he said "just assume that X is the amount of IV fluid initially". But the way he bloody communicates is so goddamn irritating and pissy and whiny and bitchy. Goddamn bitch, I want to strangle him with his own penis (and laugh at the resulting sight).

Earlier that day, my classmate and the head of our group forgot to bring a couple of index cards, and so the Instructor (#1) bitch-fitted at her in front of the hospital staff.

In my previous duties working in the hostipal, I've gotten along great with my Instructors. But this guy, what a prick. Seriously. This is the first time I've bitched majorly about hostipal work.


Aaaaaaaanyway.

As for the ACTUAL JOB. It was pretty alright. My patient was an immunocompromised anemic baby and so I had to take her vital signs every two hours, while making sure her IV fluid (IVF) was flowing appropriately. And I DID make sure her IVF flow rate was flowing at the prescribed rate, and that made predicting the IV fluid amount of my patient easy. So, yes - my patient DID get the appropriate amount of IV fluid, there was no overdose or underdose.

I didn't screw up in any major way, or else I would be writing down an Incident Report and getting +3 days extension hospital duty, which would suck total tits.

Hrm... what other interesting sights were there.

Another kid, toddler, made gun-noises with his mouth and so I engaged in an imaginary firefight with him.

Another kid had to be stabbed with a needle, an IV catheter (where the IV tubes are connected to). The problem, the nurse told me, was that the medtechs had stabbed him so many times with other needles that all the "prime real estate" was no longer available, so we had to stab him a couple of times. The first time, the vein collapsed. The second time, well, bingo!

I had to restrain the screaming, crying kid!

ANOTHER baby (not kid) had congenital heart failures and stuff, and so she was getting a blood transfusion. But then she went into a seizure since the blood apparently wasn't good for her, and so after we got scared out of our wits, I managed to find the Tongue Depressor (with cotton wrapped around it) and gave it to my classmate who inserted it on Seizure Baby's mouth.


Despite all of my ranting and raving and carrying on, I take the nursing shtick in the hospital as SRS BSNSS. The academic stuff, I might find boring and haaaard, but when we're practicing procedures in school, I do do the stuff right. And in the hostipal, you're ALWAYS on your feet since - well, for me - you have to be active and aware and moving 100% of the time since it's a bloody hostipal and there's anxiety and even fear. Which motivates you to DO SHIT and stuff.

What does that mean? Well, that means that out of EIGHT HOURS of hostipal work, we only get to sit down for less than five minutes. Excluding our 30 minute lunch breaks.

Fucking hell. 3PM-11PM. Next week, I'll be taking the 11PM-7AM shift!


Oh, and the other day I was ranting and raving about immunoglobins and diphenhydramines and shit. Well, I had to do a drug study - research and paperwork all of the medication my patient was taking. Then there'd be a drug conference between me and my Instructor, in which he'd grill me on the stuff to see if I Knew My Shit.

This was BEFORE the bitch fit, and so I was actually able to answer pretty well to all the questions. No sweat.


Well, there's no hard feelings anyway. Instructor's a bitch, but so what? We have to be professional and swallow our urges to use Blunt Farming Implements Inappropriately. Hoes and rakes.
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Malchus »

Goddamn, Shroom. You work at a massively suckish schedule and your on-the-job training involves stuff that can result in some seriously bad shit if you make a mistake. Jesus, man, you've got a helluva lot of balls for choosing to be in that kind of work in my book.
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Heretic »

Dude, how much are ya getting paid?
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Re: YOUR DAILY EXPLOITS!

Post by Shroom Man 777 »

It's still school - though it's on-the-site training. No pay :evil:
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