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Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 8:51 am
by Heretic
I would have put some of my ideas into the Random Ideas thingy, but I wanted somewhere where I could track my thoughts and stupidity down the ages, as well as add some story ideas in existing works here as well, so I decided to add my own self-centered page here, where everything here is wholly dedicated to...Me! If any of you find this thread pure impractical and a forum jammer, please tell me, but this is more for me to tell me what the hell me is doing. (Personally, I believe everyone should have their own thought bin, as it helps compare everyone's styles and makes things easier to sort for criticism)


One idea I had for my post apocalyptic universe is a better backstory. Shroom was right. I need something more than "RARGH MAYANS!" with "EVIL GENIUSES MAKING SUPERBABIES FOR THE EVULZ!". I need conspiracies, tragedies, a story behind the story. Sure, there is room for ZOMBIE REAGEN VS ZOMBIE LENIN and 5'oclock shadow desert wandering heroes that came out of one of those bad apocalyptic movies you can watch in Hulu or Youtube movies, but there has to be slice of the universe for a grim aspect to it, and I'm hoping to put that edgier element in how the world "ended" (and brought in the age of awesome perma stubbles and chainsaw-mounted motorcycles where men roam in search of HIGH ADVENTURE.) by the way of a thousand ancient prophecies and secret conspirators. Maybe the Project was just a more benign surface front for more sinister purposes, and that every era was pre-planned except for the post-apocalyptic one as things went haywire with the emergence of the mutants and the general (and world-saving) dickery of the Greys.

To do this, I might want to start an adventure series where alongside super awesome Heretical action and adventure, background info is given, though I don't know how the information should be known. Maybe the conspirators used physical encrypted datachips or something that our heroes sometimes find but discard to their junk collector, who deciphers it? Or maybe the conspirators were more open during the final days and the effects and items of their doings are scattered all around the world like monuments, sometimes even rearing their ugly head out from hibernation to fight our dashing and smexy heroes?



Second idea thing. I have a Sword and Sorcery moment currently, and is obsessed with the word HIGH ADVENTURE (damnit. Said it three times today), and might consider starting my own barbarian series. The Psillian is the first story I'm working on, and it's the beginning of our (anti)hero's journey. I was wondering if instead of infodumps, I should move the story without information on why Kasvak the Psillian is where he was and why, and instead during scenes make him have flashbacks and lucid dreams of his previous actions. A history unfolding as the story goes along. The main worry here is that I fear I might give too much that it might be considered an infodump.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 7:30 pm
by Shroom Man 777
What did I say? Where?!
To do this, I might want to start an adventure series where alongside super awesome Heretical action and adventure, background info is given, though I don't know how the information should be known. Maybe the conspirators used physical encrypted datachips or something that our heroes sometimes find but discard to their junk collector, who deciphers it? Or maybe the conspirators were more open during the final days and the effects and items of their doings are scattered all around the world like monuments, sometimes even rearing their ugly head out from hibernation to fight our dashing and smexy heroes?
...maybe information can come in the way of decaying newspapers? Or like crazy religious guys who worship the past artifacts, postapocalyptic monks whose religious calling is to scour the wastelands and read whatever they can read of the ruins and learn of how things were in the olden times? Prophets who proclaim what they read in centuries-old tabloids, maybe even worshipping dead celebrities as some kind of godesses (the all-mighty BRANGELINA! :lol:)! The New York City Library, if it still survives, could be considered as a Mecca for these types of people! Imagine a mixture of teachers and wizards, educating the masses inside wrecked bombed-out kindergarten schools, reading ABC alphabet books and other educational materials as if they were holy texts!

(Not all of them would be complete idiots though. I am sure you could have shamans and witchdoctors, like, raiding pharmacies and hospitals reading those drug insert brochures and using decades-expired medicines as ELIXIRS! and POTIONS! :lol: imagine a revered wizard giving the hero a sacred bottle of aspirin or tylenol as if it was some magical concoction or shit! :lol:)

There could be newspapers published right before the end of the world, and the headlines and articles could have information on what happened right before everything went to shit. Adventure-archeologists would travel the land, seeking any information they can get on HOW the world became what it is! Maybe conspiracy-assholes would be trying to hide or burn these ancient articles, and would fight the adventure-archeologists and explorers?
I was wondering if instead of infodumps, I should move the story without information on why Kasvak the Psillian is where he was and why, and instead during scenes make him have flashbacks and lucid dreams of his previous actions. A history unfolding as the story goes along. The main worry here is that I fear I might give too much that it might be considered an infodump.
You can leave some things unsaid, the reader doesn't have to know *everything* and the information doesn't have to be dumped in one big go - you can do it gradually, over a few chapters or even a few stories.

And yes, I think flashbacks and lucid dreams are good. Particularly if your character is injured or starving or dehydrated or ill, and he starts hallucinating all sorts of emotionally charged traumatic past events that haunt his nightmares and stuff.

Maybe you should read Stephen King's Gunslinger. I love that story, I only finished the first book (I think), but it was great and it DOES deal with a lone badass hero in a strange desolate (postapocalyptic) world, undertaking a quest and such. It's not swords and sandals fantasy, but it's pretty similar.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Sun May 16, 2010 7:37 pm
by Heretic
Alright, so I have my Hardcore Way universe, and I got most of the core basics down (Humans joining an self-proclaiming imperialist Warehousing faction who fight against commies/hippies/viking aliens just because) aside from placing more info on two more factions. But thing is, it feels as empty as space. I was planning on making it serious and stuff, but you know what? This is mah galaxy and mah stuff, so I can slap mah own style on it in any way I want. And hell, if I have Imperialist Warehousing groups filled with apes and crazy-reproducing aliens, Commie elves riding T-rexes and eating tanks, and crazy bio-engineered hybrid chicks, why shouldn't I go insane? Yes, I like that alot. It will have quite a bit of my usual atmosphere in it.

On the side note, I had a friend come in and review my writing style. He pointed out a few things to me that I needed to work on, like dialogue layout. So, for the next few stories/chapters, I will be tinkering with different styles to see what feels right.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Sun May 16, 2010 9:17 pm
by Shroom Man 777
You are very energetic and seeing you so adventurous and experimental and stuff and alive and all warms the cockles of my heart. Maybe the sub-cockles. Maybe even my colon.

But, yeah, go for it mang.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 6:47 pm
by Heretic
So, brain farts anyone?

So I got "America in Space, Yeah!" into a tad darker theme, which is utterly awful, breaking my code of perpetual awesome cheesiness.

So I got ideas for a superhero universe, created by me, a dude who doesn't read much superhero comics (I only have one Judge Dredd comic, one Supreme comic from 1994, a Punisher comic from somewhere, and a Black Coat comic). But I thought I could experiment on how a clueless dummy could reinvent the wheel, and maybe add some polishes of my own.


But more importantly, I got ideas for my own universe, Hardcore Way. No, not another revamp, but more like an introduction. An Epic introduction, spanning many stories that can sum up the many aspects of my world. It will have some of my old characters and many new ones, it will show the conflicts on all sides, it will be humorous (well, as humorous as I can get, riddled with parenthesis all over), and it will be my belated grand opening to my pretty neglected world of Hardcore Way.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 7:07 pm
by Heretic
I was looking around Amazon.com and various book websites, reading the descriptions and info of various books, and watching a corny Barnes&Nobles trailer for some teen romance supernatural fiction when the blasphemous idea struck me..

BY JOVE! Why don't I, the magnificent Heretic, write a Teen Supernatural Romance? I mean, virtually all the authors are women, so why not experiment with a MAN author? Yes, the plot bunnies are stirring already, ready to unleash monstrosities.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 7:28 pm
by speaker-to-trolls
You have far too much testosterone and awesome cheese to write a teen romance, you won't be able to make one chapter without the entire town being overrun by an army of mummies and the soppy protagonists having to commandeer a tank and incinerate their way to safety.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 7:31 pm
by Heretic
You have far too much testosterone and awesome cheese to write a teen romance, you won't be able to make one chapter without the entire town being overrun by an army of mummies and the soppy protagonists having to commandeer a tank and incinerate their way to safety.
True, but it could be fun how it ends up :lol: It isn't the content that matters, but the journey..
the soppy protagonists having to commandeer a tank and incinerate their way to safety.
You fucking asshole hacker! :evil: How the hell did you know I was gonna do a Female-Tank-Commander-going-through-shit story in my Hardcore Way universe? Now I'm afraid of posting it without fearing looking like I'm ripping you off.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 7:33 pm
by speaker-to-trolls
You fucking asshole hacker! :evil: How the hell did you know I was gonna do a Female-Tank-Commander-going-through-shit story in my Hardcore Way universe? Now I'm afraid of posting it without fearing looking like I'm ripping you off.
Hey, man, you think you've got a problem? How the hell am I going to explain to the multiple skeptics groups I belong to that I've just developed psychic powers?

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Sat Sep 04, 2010 8:14 pm
by Heretic
Another UNIVERSE idea!

So I was on a RetroFuture site and while doing that saw theBioshock Infinite trailer when the idea of an alternate history filled with retro smexy fashion, futurist architecture, Soviet moon landings, and secret American-Planet Xians pacts.

I was thinking that maybe the world before WWII had a steampunk(with Swing music and depressions!). Nazi automaton Wehrmacht stormtroopers and British land crawlers ruled the day with the occasional power armored samurai fighting rugged American guerrilla fighters with pimped out Tommy guns and Garands. Then, the Nazis got a hold of Tesla's works, and made TESLA DOOM WEAPONS. In order to combat this new threat, the Americans, French, and British unleashed the power of PLASTIC! Though not immune, plasticized weapons and vehicles proved effective against the effects of the Nazi TESLA DOOM WEAPONS if the energy strikes didn't hit various weak points. As the Steampunk age came to a quiet end as TESLA DOOM WEAPONS fought PLASTIC, the British came up with an idea: Plastic Men! Made from non conductive materials with their electrical and metal parts protected, these men were actually more like boxy autonomous mechas, housing Konrad Zuse's Z3 computers as brains (British Commandos deiced to steao the plans instead of wrecking havoc as usual). Though more intelligent than the Nazi Automaton soldiers, the Plastic Men were still with limitations, much like the early tanks of our universe's WW1. Still, with the help of British mechas, American Atom bombs, and Russian Battle Fortresses that "spawn" conscripts, the Allies won the war.

The 50s in my mind would be Soviets landed on the moon with their Sputnik 2 (Yes, moon landings...in the 50s), the US made first contact with an alien race that lives in a planet beyond Pluto (must be a little chilly there), and everything is sleek with skyrails, modernist/futurist architecture, and sharply shaped cars running alongside the personal mini-copter/car hybrids! Underneath the happy social interior in the US, fear of everyone being a commie was high, and the Cold War broke into a low intensity border slugfest and while both superpowers are tempted to press the button, both want to dick around for a little while longer so they don't press the button that would lead to the Fallout series happening.



This universe is my incentive to do more deep researching on past culture, and a sudden appreciation for retrofuturism. I know half the science behind this is crap, but I just want to throw this out there. I once vowed never to do Alternate History because it was ridiculous in my mind (Imperial Americas and people going back in time to give the American Confederacy AK-47s?!), but now that I found a style I like, I now broke my promise, and here I am, stranded in the sea on a boat, without a manual. A few helpful tips would be nice.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 9:29 am
by Heretic
Santa's back, fuckers.

Damn, I was thinking about this whole supernatural stuff. So we got demons, angels, werewolves, and vampires, who are smexy and gorgeous people that live gorgeous lives and do naughty things to each other and teenage human girls. Very naughty.

So the logical thought is that Santa Claus wouldn't be very happy. Naughty teens mean naughty parents, which means naughty children. And there wouldn't be enough coal for the world. So, Old Saint Nick decided to come out of obscurity and living off of Intellectual Property royalties, and take matters in his own hands.

Whipping his elves back into workshop shape, he produces an army of menacing toys to combat the increasing Ripped Muscles Brooding Men Naughtiness that is spreading around the world. And so the war between playthings and players begins.

I seriously need to get my head in order, or else I'll never stop thinking of ridiculous ideas.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 10:47 am
by Shroom Man 777
Santa killing the fuck out of vampires and shit would be awesome, Heretic. Great idea. :D

I also like the whole outrageous retro-futuristic alternate history. "Realistic" alternate history attempts come off as shit since it tends to become either a load of crap, wank or is boring. But your take is definitely very entertaining, and proportionately nowhere near realistic, and is practically nigh-fantasy. Which works! It can be OUTRAGEOUS! While both being serious and not! It's probably just like those ridiculous comic books published during that time of time. Amazing Stories! Strange Tales! Etc. :mrgreen:

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 5:57 am
by Heretic
While I do alot of PRO-AMERICA (YEAH!!!!!) tones (not just O1), I decided that later on through I should take a break from my FREEDOM TALES and take a journey into FREEDOM WITH A MUSTACHE areas.

What I mean is, I want to go try my hand in a neo-British Empire in space, fighting off nefarious Frenchmen aristocrat cyborgs and colonizing savage worlds with bleak societies, while facepalming at the tantrums of their obnoxious American counterpart. Maybe, tea cups are crushed and monocles popped when a thinly veiled Dominion of Draka metaphor polity comes around and struts their slave-owning, "mightier than thou and I'm not American" attitude across the galaxy, and taking British outposts over in their quest for galactic domination.

What.

So our stiff-lipped heroes put their valuable china away and pull out their super space Enfields and British Navy-to-toe (originally suppose to say toe to toe, if you didn't get it) with the villainous gits, to show that no one messes with the British Parliamentarian Way!

It's just a instant thought and I didn't think too much about it. Now, I have to study British history, government, history of British government, military, History of British Military, British foreign affairs and its history, etc. because it's gonna have a retro feel to it. Think Captain Smtih, but less awesome.


I should get into obnoxious patriotism for alot of nations! Maybe adventures with Japanese samurais fighting Teutonic knights due to a Mongolian culture exchange in an alternate world, maybe the Scandinavian nations are the only defense against a galactic empire! Maybe instead of America, First Contact is made in Ghana! The Icelanders are fed up with Mother Nature messing with them and go into a war James Cameron's Avatar-style.

Thai Transvestite fighting Al Quada!

Brazil's Special Operations Brigade fighting against Neo-Nazi armies (cause everyone knows the Nazi remnant escaped into South America :lol: )

Filipino soldiers going into a three-way war between the rebels and Kaiju that the Japanese couldn't defeat!

America still being better even after all the nations had their share of awesomeness! :P

lol

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 10:31 pm
by Heretic
So a bunch of cyberpunk rebels, you know, fight the bad mega corporation from Japan, and while getting chased by corrupt policemen and cyber ninjas while, like, uncovering the corporations' dark secrets. One character would speak in metaphors (yes, I'm taking that from the Matrix and parts of Blade Runner) and there would be that dude where our teen heroes would go to hang out, eat pizza, and jack in.

But as they go deeper into the dark lair of corporate cliched greed, one accidentally tampers with a devise, which somehow went into an alternate universe's internets, and unleashed a horror unthinkable during the days of dark 80s-90s cyberpunks.

Image

:shock: THE LULZ GOD!!!1!! :o
He demands sacrifices (of human dignity) for his amusement.
No one is safe.


That's all I got folks. Just did this for the giggles and to contrast how everyone thought the future of virtual networking would be like, and the reality.

Edit: I was thinking that this :shock: LULZ GOD!!!1!! :o could be the cause of all the dark conspiracies in all the cyberpunk universes ever. It pulls the strings of all the bad guys, who are all juicy lolcows, and lets the heroes beat them before pulling off another plot twist out of its ass just to get on everyone's nerves. Ghost in the Shell, Blade Runner, Matrix, Perfect Dark, all of them have this emote as the mastermind of it all.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2010 3:37 am
by Heretic
So, after another session of relating two things together, procrastinating with them, and finding something to work with, without thinking them through, I came up with another idea!

So there is this Post-apocalyptic game called Metro 2033. Now, I haven't played it but I have studied it (and played Fallout New Vegas) and I was wondering how my NaNoWriMo was doing (awful). Realizing my story was bland and didn't have taste or any drive in it and that there was a dark seriousness that just killed it before it got to any subplot, I decided to see what I could do with the carcass.


In post apocalyptic Russia, many of the survivors had to go underground, in metro stations, basements, and abandoned Soviet..places. Gradually a network of these occur, and slowly semblance of a society begins, albeit with many factions (Metro 2033). But in a secret cloning facility (my story's beginning), a clone of a Soviet WW2 hero awakes, and with the help of a suspiciously emotional and weird computer system (Portal), goes outside into Moscow, which is contaminated with asbestos-like particles. Finding an ice cream truck in Siberia still filled with ice cream, the duo heavily modifies the truck into an armored beast and goes out, bringing processed goodness to all, whether they be human or mutant.

To summarize it: Soviet clone in ruined Russia, selling ice cream and blowing up monsters who try to stop him.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 6:00 am
by Heretic
Ivan Kuztenov
(Post-apocalypse Russia with Soviet clones meets ice cream)

Bio: Clone of a valiant Soviet Partisan during World War 2 who fought against the Nazis during the invasion of the motherland, Ivan Kuztenov was born in a secret Moscow lab right before civilization collapsed and was raised by an automated computer system within the lab bunker. When Ivan grew up, he and his computer buddy, who gained a robot body (Specifics on what type later), went out to a semi-desolated Moscow filled with Particle X hovering in the air. After quickly finding a modified hazmat/body armour suit from a corpse that probably overdosed in drugs Ivan and his robot pal (Think of Name Later after screaming over Cyrillic writings) goes on an adventure up to Siberia, where they find a still functioning, still-filled-with-ice-cream ice cream truck. From there, Ivan Kuztenov finds his life purpose to bring back ice cream to a world filled with mutants, survival, and the secret forces behind the apocalypse.

Physical description: ImageBecause I'm lazy to write a description. Younger than he looks, for one.

Clothes: A hybrid hazmat/full body armor suit. Dark, it has a gas mask with night vision, heavy duty gloves, a sturdy Tyvek coveralls with a tightening hood, a 6b7-11 combat helmet, joint protectors, and Prototype Mk.1 auto-repair ballistic vest.

Tools of the Trade:MP-443 Grach, 30 clip mag SKS, cheap Russian PDA knockoff, stainless Ice cream scoop, and a portable three flavor compartment ice cream backpack.

Favorite Ice cream: Fruit Soda ice creams. Hell, ice cream itself (except a few Japanese tainted flavors)

The pimped out Ice Cream truck: A heavily modified Zil 131, with a particle-powered engine that can run for a few miles when fuel runs out (don't ask for the science or math in that). Reinforced tires and hull, bulletproof glass, RPK gun mounted on the passenger side (swivel and can be retracted in), and cargo module fitted with a few freezers, a soft serve machine, an ice maker, and a small cold confectionery workshop. Ammo is stored in the small compartmentalized area of the passenger seat for easy access.

Dislikes (because we know he likes ice cream): Vegans who try to stop Ivan from selling ice cream, survivalists who try to stop Ivan from selling ice cream, psychotic marauders and mutants who try to stop Ivan from selling ice cream, gas shortages who try to stop Ivan from selling ice cream, particles who try to stop Ivan from selling ice cream, currency/barter obstacles who try to stop Ivan from selling ice cream, Ivan's rational part of his brain who try to stop Ivan from selling ice cream, disco, Ukrainian wheat gangs who try to stop Ivan from selling ice cream, aliens who try to stop Ivan from selling ice cream, Mother Nature who try to stop Ivan from selling ice cream, The diabolical forces behind the apocalypse and bent on world domination who try to stop Ivan from selling ice cream, etc. etc.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 1:14 am
by Heretic
I was playing a semi-browser game with real time and the thought came to me. Because space battles are technically suppose to be like submarine battles, why not have Space battles..in SEA!

So yeah: Global Warming, nuclear war, and stuff cause the surface to be mostly uninhabitable, and the surviving human race goes underwater (or on floating cities). I recall an anime like this (Blue SUbmarine No.6) where an experimental submarine or something fights aliens in a water-apocalypse world.

This story takes place with city-states and secret organizations vying for control of the sea and various parts of the shores and ports on the surface that aren't affected by devastation. With aircraft carriers, submarines, ships, and the occasional floating fortress which serve as a base of operations and mobile platforms.

The heroine of the story will be Captain Jerrica Strong of the USS Psycho. Her submarine is a standard XN-21 attack sub used by the United Submerged States of America (USSA) forces, but she is different from the other submarine captains of her caliber by throwing away regulations and pimping out her sub...

...and now my brain is tired. I spent a long interval between this and the last paragraph. I'll think again later.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 6:19 am
by Heretic
So, I had an idea!

Why not, instead of littering the forums with my stories and ideas, why not have a universe thread specifically for my non-Hardcore Way, non-Comix!, non co-op junk? Hereticus Haven, it will be called, and I shall place my Amazing Tales and other miscellaneous junk here. I'll leave America in Space, Yeah! in the general forums, as well as whatever roleplays I might have tried to do. This way, I feel more important and let others fight for recognition :P as well as streamline my things into less scattering places. I dunno whether I want to bring my universe ideas that I had as well. I might just leave the ones there, and make new ones or revamp the old ones in my new domain.

Is that legit, or would that be too annoying to do?

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 2:42 pm
by speaker-to-trolls
I'm a little confused as to why you think there's need for another thread, I mean, you have this one for your non-Hardcore Way universe ideas and Heretic's Amazing Tales for your miscellaneous short stories, while America In Space and various other longer term things (like the sitcom rpg which I definitely wouldn't mind helping with if there's still interest, do you have MSN Heretic? you're profile says you don't). I don't know, what would a third misc thread be for?

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 1:09 am
by Heretic
Well, I thought that my stuff makes a realm of themselves and it needs to be placed in a special universe thread :p Just acting narcissistic, hence why I put it in this thought bin and not in a serious standalone post.

Troll, if you're interested in revamping the Sitcomm RP, that's fine, I can help. But I don't have MSN and it seems too complex for me. Prefer Yahoo.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 8:28 am
by Heretic
Yes, I'm working on Secsan, so I feel cocky enough to put my brain elsewhere.

SO (which I seem to say alot when beginning a sentence), I went on a few Alternate History sites and discussion boards and saw how lame a few of them were. They were self-important, serious "I'm better than you, Turtledove", tasteless horse poo. Generic fictional character names, nations that seem to be done over and over and over and over and over again (Tsardom of Russia, Confederacy of America, Republic of Texas*, Empire of Japan, United States of Rome/*insert fangasm nation here*)..and it as boring. So boring I thought how much better I could do.

Then, the marvelous, heretical idea came to me....


SECRET WARS

Aeons ago, when mankind was still clubbing each other with sticks and stones, an alien civilization came and colonized Earth, bringing their wondrous culture and technologies to enlighten the human race. Our ET friends, who we shall call the Ancient Astronauts, lifted the human race up from the primordial stage and sped progress to limits that would usually take many millenniums, in under two centuries.

The human race grew proud of themselves, and thus waged a war against their alien teachers. The first Anunnaki-Atlantean War thus took place. The war was so great that both civilizations were destroyed, and semi-extinction event occurred in the world due to the devastation. Most of the surviving humans fell back into their caveman stage, though a few Atlantean colonies went underground or into the "other plane" for many years. The Ancient Astronauts continued struggling with the few settlements they had left, but those too fell, and the human civilizations in the Southern Americas took what was left of that culture.

Fast forward, and mankind is still clubbing each other, but with better weapons. Hell, they already looked into space by the time we came into the picture.

Oh yeah, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Billy 4823, Son of A'lm 4982. He was one of the original explorers of Earth for our people. His ship malfunctioned (we were just getting the hang of spaceflight) and crashed in the desert of New Mexico, near a tiny town called Roswell. The US government took him and his dead buddy back to some secret area elsewhere in the desert and probed through their bodies.

The exploration ship sent out an automatic SOS beacon, and the mothership gradually got the message, but needed to go back home. The commander of the expedition knew he couldn't leave my dad there, so he sent a few rescue ships over the years, but they kept malfunctioning mysteriously and crashing down, with the government happily picking them up and dumping them into the secret underground pseudo-community known as Area 51. There, we lived in peace, while the US government continued dissecting our equipment and using it to fight the Russians.

Then in 1980, we figured some things out. The seemingly benign Area 51 staff wasn't some secret US military section. They were a international organization known as the Illuminati. They used our technology to subdue the human race into a hivemind and conquer the universe using some antediluvian Ancient Astronaut tablets as a reference, and not using our technology to continue killing each other off as we had hoped during the course of the Cold War.

We staged an attack and eliminated the personal in the facility, and took over Area 51 for ourselves. The government, not wanting to cause a scene with another fight, decided to leave us be. Ever since then, we and our mind controlled hobo "GIs" kept Dreamland clean of UFO enthusiasts and Illuminati agents...

...until we figured out why our ships were crashing. It seemed like the Ancient Astronauts during the Middle Ages secretly sent a second colony group to the darker corners of Earth, not wanting to make the same mistake of teaching humans like last time, and waited until humanity wiped themselves out before colonizing. They didn't like us invading their turf, and sent "Astral" beam waves at us. Assholes.

To make matters more complicated, the Atlantis Remnant came out from their hidey-hole and decided to be isolationist. They caused havoc at the Bermudas, south of Japan, and occasionally in Lake Michigan, sinking vehicles and causing havoc to navigational devices. To the misfortune to us all, the two ancient skeletons want to slug it out one more time. Thankfully, it's low-intensity war this time.

The year now is 201x, and war has finally broken out between all of us. When the Atlanteans and the Anunnaki aren't killing each other with evenly matched crystals and orgone-powered weaponry, they shoot down our ships or cause havoc at a human settlement, pissing off the Illuminati. The Illuminati gained more control, especially in the developed nations, and harass us with so many agent cells and various suborganizations.

We, on the other hand, are civilized and prefer to deal with our problems the old fashion way: Laser to face. Sure, we do some "recon", but its just making sure the Ancient Astronauts or Illuminati scientists aren't secretly creating genetic nightmares which will haunt the world later. And because we like to hear you scream as we insert the rod up your anus.


Image
Voice File 34b: TOP SECRET
Anunnaki: Based on ancient Mesopotamian Mythos, the Anunnaki are a pool of races united under a common banner, like a racial alliance. Leading this group are a group of angelic Aryanic humanoids who are labeled as Pleiadeans, after their star cluster. Their expansionism, while seemingly benign, actually enslave the contacted race. Humanity was once under their spell, but our own ambitions thwarted their plans.

Concerning military strength, the Ancient Astronauts rely on strange energies, most of which seems to be from old pseudo-science books and conspiracy forums. Their "Crystal-guns" fires a burst of transparent, watery blob which can disrupt an lifeform's insides. Their power source is incredible, and are similar to the Atlanteans. But unlike the Atlanteans, who need human will to activate their inner energy and in turn activate their machines, the Anunnaki can use the surrounding "life energy" to activate their weapons, which gives the illusion of unlimited power. The most deadliest weapon is not these Vril-esque weapons, but a form of transportation called "Plane-hopping". At will, the Anunnaki can teleport to various dimensions. This way, they can speed up travel time, go on reconnaissance missions, or strangle us in our dreams. Hey, at least this Freddy Krueger could be a smoking hot Germanian Alien babe, if that's any consolation. Rumors have it that they are currently dabbling with hybrids.

Thankfully, most of the big stuff need lots of energy, and the Ancient Astronauts haven't discovered post-scarcity..yet

Side Note here. The Anunnaki also seem to like to talk about something called "The War" in hushed tones, and for some reason always points their main "artillery" pieces at their capital headquarters somewhere at the Pacific Ocean, near, in my estimated guesses, the tip of South America.
Voice File 43d: TOP SECRET
Atlanteans: Utopia and a terror. These Ancient Astronaut wannabes holed themselves up in the small floating cities in the water, and are the cause of the Bermuda and Dragon Triangle.Like their former masters, the Atlanteans use funny energy sources as the source of power and weaponry. While weaker and relies on human rituals and symbolic buildings, this energy is still enough to simulate a large laser beam, and their guerrilla tactics and mobile city-fortress platforms keep them one step ahead of the Anunnaki. Another advantage they have is that being human, they are more "attuned" with the planet's energy, allowing them to detect Anunnaki plane-hopping faster than our latest technologies. Other than that, similar weapon concepts and different aesthetic philosophies. While the Ancient Astronauts rely on power and technology, the Atlanteans rely on speed and initiative.

Yeah, I liked Red Dawn, too.
Voice File 83g:
Roswellians: Really, sirs? You want me to review these guys? Haven't there been enough reports on the Greys ever since the Dreamland Insurrection of the 80s? Alright, fine, here's the current update.

The Roswellians have expanded little since the 90s, having few outposts around the globe. They usually hunker down in Area 51, taking royalties from Google Map by letting them show the area. Sneaky bastards.

While having a low population (~300-400), the Roswellians have a pretty beefy technological advantage, with laser guns, UFO, tractor beams, the good stuff. Mostly on the defensive side, they don't sweat over taking the first strike if the threat is big enough, usually using proxy agents. Contrary to popular opinion, the Roswellians do not have telepathy or whatnot.

While they are good guys to drink with and discuss pop culture with, don't let their silly demeanor fool you. They will anally probe you if you show the slightest suspicious of mutation or hybrid.
Voice File DELETED
[Retrieving traces..] I know the truth now. It all makes sense....[error]..Tunguska, the Hindenburg, Yalta...[error]..I must tell you before they find me out...I'm dead. [UBER ERROR]

Look for the Bear....(sounds of shouting and gunfire) no, look for...(gunfire erupts and screams)

<0><0><0><0><0><0><0><0><0>
=WE ARE ALWAYS WATHCING=
<0><0><0><0><0><0><0><0><0>



*Michael Ire's Republic of Texas ousts them all. 01 World was probably one of the best Alternate history things ever to come to existence. Ire's presence would blow away all the wannabe Republics of Texas. And then invade Shroomalia to kick ass and chew oil wells**. Even in defeat, MY Republic of Texas came out on top.

**And I'm all out of oil.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 8:12 am
by Heretic
COMING SOON NEAR A THREAD NEAR YOU (after Heretic gets off his butt and finishes up his SecSan)
The Desert of Doom!
Join Jenny Everywhere as she embarks on another universe shifting adventure. This time, she lands into the realm of the mad author Heretic (yes, I know it is a subtle ripoff of Elder Scrolls: Oblivion- Shivering Isles add-on), who pits her into wacky pulp generation adventures, with a crew of wacky pulp characters.
The Bail Hunter in: The Oatmeal of Death!
A continuation of The Bail Hunter in: The Shymlavian Cake Vs. Space Pirate Ninjas, Dlugh'dux, Ace Hammercreek, and Claudia What's-Her-Face reach the planet Corax in order to clear out a complex of terrorists that threaten a nearby refinery. Will our hero(ine)s be able to save the planet's infrastructure in time before the parasitic Limva come into town. How will Ace reconcile with his formally ex-Centurions, how much of a dick is this Eroko, how many times will food be mentioned in conversations by Dlugh'dux, and how much more awful can the love scenes get?! Stay tune for the next chapter of:

The Bail Hunter in: The Oatmeal of Death!

SECRET WARS: The Conspiracy of Flesh

A secret war has been waging on for a long time. The Atlantean humans fought their former Akaddian masters, and the Illuminati keep tabs on the Roswellians. But the four-way war takes a funky turn when a secret in a small archipelago in the Pacific is discovered.

Artificial vehicles and weapons from an unknown civilization are left untouched and intact under secret temple ruins and complexes. Control of these can not only bring a unique edge in the war, but can possibly, if taken out of their contained islands, alter Earth's biosphere significantly (or not). The battle for Tagers..erm, Symbiotic Flesh-Armor and Cthulhutec..I mean, eldritch technology has begun.
The Red Lurker
Hope is dead. The creepy-crawlies are terrorizing orphanages (no, it's not funny. Take this seriously, damn it), and villains loot, rape, and kill as they please, especially in the bleak city of Utopia, in the state of [Insert state with temperate climate]. The heroes of today have died or are in hiding from the more powerful forces of evil.

Annie Janet Griffin is a young college girl who has read too much pulp magazines and old detective/Batman comic books. She looks up to the mysterious fedora-wearing justice-bringers of the night, whose absolute faith in justice, morality, and their .45 M1911 wins the day. Problem is, none of them are really women. Especially not in today's society. So, after scouring outlet stores, dumpster bins, and gun shops for her gear, Annie takes it upon herself to fight crime.

Day, she is Ms. Annie Griffin, working for a Associate's degree in whatever she can get. Night, she is the Red Lurker, gunning down criminals, powered villains and monsters alike from the shadows with her M1911 and her quick reflexes.

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:27 pm
by speaker-to-trolls
I am intrigued by this oatmeal of death; What manner of oatmeal is it, and what makes it so deadly?

The Red Lurker story also might be fun but I think we might have already reached the ultimate in mockery of nineties Grimdarkness on this website already :P

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2011 2:00 am
by Heretic
It's not overdone until I do it!

Re: Heretic's thought bin

Posted: Wed May 11, 2011 6:34 am
by Heretic
Ali R-22 and her pet Zombie Ted* lived in an abandoned mental asylum in the failed colony of Eden. When they go out on an adventure around the world (with more than one climate!),the two find a series of voice recordings throughout derelict outposts and buildings scattered all over the place, and gradually discover a lurking evil that threatens to destroy the world and its few sentient inhabitants.
*The idea of a pet zombie came to me during a game of Zombies on "Five" in Call of Duty: Black Ops. If you don't know, Zombies is the mode where you have to hold off waves and waves of zombies while barricading yourself and moving through the level. Now, a trick the pros use is to leave the last zombie before the next wave alive until they are all done fixing walls and buying better guns. Me and three of my friends left a crawler (a zombie..who crawls) alive, and as we started opening up doors and getting better weapons, me and another nutcase grew fond of the crawler, who followed us around the level. We just started jumping around the poor thing, using humiliating accents to call it over, like one would call over a pet. As the minutes went on the serious dudes were trying to find the random weapons cache), we grew more attached to it, and I decided to call it Ted. The name stuck, before one of our more serious friends "accidentally" killed him as I was upstairs taking some stuff from the mystery box. I will miss you, Ted :'(

Yeah, too tired, so I'll post more ideas later.