Fantasy 'verse proposal

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Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Czernobog »

The World of Alarrius

The world of Allarius is a world of darkness and terror. Wolf-men prowl the forests, and ancient powers guard long-forgotten groves. Yet to defend themselves, the mortal races have formed great kingdoms. The Kingdom of Camelon, to the north, is defended by the knights, loyal sevants of the king, who opress the peasants as much as they defend them, and the magi, who are feared and hated for their strange powers as much as they are tolerated. Ruled by king Arthur Pendragon, there are several places within its realm that house entrances to the land of the fickle and capricious Sidhe. Such lands are feared by all common folk, as the Sidhe do not take intruders likely, and anybody who enters without their blessing is likely to be consumed alive by the land itself. The navy of Camelon is a terrible one, and their longships are justly feared, for with it, the almost-invincible army of Camelon comes. West of the forests, nearer the coasts, is a landscape of great stone circles and mighty trilithons. Such creations are places of power, tapping the ley-flows that course through the world, and there magical powers are greatly increased.

The Sidhe are utterly capricious - taking babies and replacing them with changelings for one. Such changelings are likely to be utterly emotionless and insane, and have no qualms about killing people for their twisted reasons. The Sidhe also take souls, and it is said that many sudden, inexplicable deaths are due to them. They also enjoy playing cruel tricks and disturbing mind-games with mortals, and the worde of a Sidhe is never to be trusted.

Directly south of Aesirheim are the lands of the Elves, and the beauty of their marbled cities are incredible. However, the Elves are arrogant and disdainful of the other races, and any human or dwarf who enters their lands is not likely to be welcome. Those that live there live in immense slums outside the cities, often living in little more than a tiny shack . However, the Elves are more skilled in the ways of magic than the humans, and have learned how to summon elemental creatures from beyond our reality. Called 'daemons' by the elves, these creatures are used for all heavy labour or other work, allowing each individual elf to live a life of luxury and idleness. The elves have mostly tamed their forests, and are on somwewhat neutral relations with the sidhe, but darkness still lurks in the deepest groves and glades.

Forther south are the Steel Mountains, in which the dwarven cities are built. These are beautiful creations, each inch lovingly carved. It is said that the greatest cities took centuries to build, complete by massive teams of industrious dwarves. However, dark creatures lurk in the deeps beneath the world, and the dwarves must constantly fight to protect them. The dwarves have knowledge of the art of elementalism, which allows direct control over the four elements. Neither elves nor humans know how to perform this, and the dwarves claim the ability is innate. Anyway, the strongest elementalists are those that specialise in but one element - it seems as if elementalists are either strong in one, or weak in two or more.

South of the Steel Mountains is the human Empire of Remos, a failing empire governed by a weak king, long fallen from its heights of splendour and glory. The people of Remos stubbornly fight off corsairs from the island of Al-Imaji in the Middle Sea, between Khem and Byzantos. Al-Imaji is an island of pirates and thieves, and its port city, Alexandros, once a proud outpost of Remos, is a home of nothing but vice and squalor. The fleets of Khem and Remos combined cannot defeat the seemingly-innumerable pirates, who have dominion over most of the islands in the Middle Sea. The Emperor of Byzantos desperately bribes them to stop raiding, but the Empire's coffers are almost depleted, and when he cannot pay any longer, they will attack.

South of Byzantos, on the shores of the Middle Sea, lies the land of Khem-settra, a strange place of animal-headed gods and dark magic. The people of Khem-settra mostly live next to the great river Asettra, which stretches from the eastern mountains to the Middle Sea. Countless tributaries join the river, mostly from the jungles to the south, and a great delta forms where it reaches the Middle Sea. The great cities of Khem-settra are glorious, the limestone and gold shining in the desert from a long way off. Deeper in the desert are crypts and tombs from ancient, forgotten civilisations, and even vast cyclopean cities of black marble, their black ziggurats visible for miles. The greatest of these lies in the Desert of Storms, a forgotten place where eternal storms rage and horrible creatures lurk in the land. The shadowed ruins of ancient civilisations are guarded by the Storm Golems, gigantic masses of animate rock.

To the west lies the Western Sea, an enormous ocean that seemingly has no end. Nobody has gotten to the other side, but it seems that it will happen soon...
Last edited by Czernobog on Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:01 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Dakarne »

Well, where to start? Well, let's start from the top and work directly downwards.
The world of Allarius is a world of darkness and terror. Wolf-men prowl the forests, and ancient powers guard long-forgotten groves. Yet to defend themselves, the mortal races have formed great kingdoms.
So what we've established is WEREWOLVES! and ANCIENT POWERS!... and the fact that there's been a bit of kingdom-forming. Great. That's quite perfect. Except that it isn't; it's supposed to be a world of darkness and terror, yet all you've got is more humanoid versions of wolves (which we've dealt with before in real life; only they were four-legged) and people-who-may-well-be-gods-but-it-doesn't-matter-because-they're-just-guarding-groves. I mean; unless all of humanity's resources come from the control of these groves, it isn't much of a bloody problem!
The Kingdom of Aesirheim, to the north, is defended by the knights, loyal sevants of the king, who opress the peasants greatly, and the magi, who are feared and hated for their strange powers as much as they are tolerated. Ruled by king Pendragon, there are several places within its realm that house entrances to the land of the fickle and capricious Sidhe. Such lands are feared by all common folk, as the Sidhe do not take intruders likely, and anybody who enters without their blessing is likely to be consumed alive by the forest itself.
Rightio, we've got the Kingdom of Aesirheim to the North, defended by the knights. Well... er... what knights? A knight is a general type of military nobility, not a specific group! You could make an argument for samurai effectively being their own type of knights. And then you've got being ruled by King Pendragon, which is all well and good, but which one is it? This one? Or his son? Now, of course, the magi being feared and hated as much as tolerated is nothing new; it's practically every single fantasy story in existence that isn't set in bloody Halruaa or Netheril. So, then we've got the forest faeries being naughty. Which, now that I think of it, sounds awfully familiar for some reason.

I mean, it's all very Arthurian, naturally, but with the exception of two features (the toleration of magi and the faeries using forests), what we've got here is something that sounds, and probably, knowing you, is almost identical to this. It would not be the first time that a BBC sci-fi/fantasy show has influenced you, would it?
South of Aesirheim are the lands of the Elves, and the beauty of their marbled cities are incredible. However, the Elves are arrogant and disdainful of the other races, and any human or dwarf who enters their lands is not likely to be welcome. Small human settlements are there in the woods of the Elven kingdoms, but the Elves merely ignore them. However, the Elves are more skilled in the ways of magic than the humans, and are knowledgeable in the art of Astromancy, which human magi have only an inkling of. The elves have mostly tamed their forests, and are on somewhat good relations with the sidhe, but darkness still lurks in the deepest groves and glades.
So... the lands of the elves are called what, now? You seem to have omitted a name or two here. And their marbled cities are incredible, are they? And you're a bit inconsistent there; 'HUMANS ARE NOT WELCOME... except for that lot over there, the other lot here, and those living in the slums by the capital city, which we don't care about, BUT STILL!' Of course, elves must keep secret their old and arcane art of ASTROMANCY! ... er... what is astromancy, in terms for those of us without psychic powers? Naturally, though, the elves are on good terms with what are essentially their more Celtic-themed cousins, aren't they? They must be, of course. That's how things work.

As it stands, this is more or less standard.
Forther south are the Iron Mountains, in which the dwarven cities are built. The dwarves are skilled in the art of engineering, and their cities are filled with mechanical wonders.
Would these cities somewhat resemble this one? Would they include a massive central forge, trams, tanks, helicopters, etc. or...?
However, dark creatures lurk in the deeps, and the dwarves must constantly fight to protect them.
Rightio... so you mean like this one?

Image
The dwarves have knowledge of the art of elementalism, which allows direct control over the four elements. Neither elves nor humans know how to perform this, and the dwarves claim the ability is innate. Anyway, the strongest elementalists are those that specialise in but one element - it seems as if elementalists are either strong in one, or weak in two or more.
Hmm... where have I seen heavily elementalist dwarves before? It seems awfully familiar to me. Oh, god, if only I could remember where I'd seen it! Oh... wait... that's right. Septemplicis Occultum. Granted, the dwarves were earth-elementalists and not much else, but to be quite honest, even I have had this idea before. It was indeed abandoned, as I'd begun to work on a completely new approach...
South of the Iron Mountains is the human Empire of Byzantos, a failing empire governed by a weak king, long fallen from its heights of splendour and glory. The people of Byzantos stubbornly fight off corsairs from the island of Al-Imaji in the Middle Sea, between Khem and Byzantos. Al-Imaji is an island of pirates and thieves, and its port city, Alexandros, is a home of nothing but vice and squalor. The fleets of Khem and Byzantos combined cannot defeat the seemingly-innumerable pirates, who have dominion over most of the islands in the Middle Sea.
Er... is this all south? Diagonally or in a straight line? Incidentally, this long-falling empire is moderately familiar. Mostly because it's like many other I've seen. And then you've got the port city of Alexandros being a place of vice and squallor, and then the islands of pirates in the middle which everyone must struggle constantly against. Wait a fucking minute, this is fucking Impiltur. If not, it's a damn good impression. I mean; it's almost exactly a carbon copy. They face more or less the exact same problems, for more or less the exact same reasons.
South of Byzantos, on the shores of the Middle Sea, lies the land of Khem, a strange place of animal-headed gods and dark magic.
'Khem' sounds much like a cough. A whole lot like a cough. Incidentally, it sounds an awful lot like Egypt. To the point of me assuming that this is more or less your own Fantasy Counterpart Culture version. No worries, though; you're not the first, but you won't be the last.
The people of Khem live mostly next to the great river Asettra, which stretches from the eastern mountains to the Middle Sea. Countless tributaries join the river, mostly from the jungles to the south, and a great delta forms where it reaches the Middle Sea.
Interesting, I interestingly note that there is a similar setup from the Dragonsword Mountains in the aforementioned Faerun (of which Impiltur is a part), where there's western-directed river running from there straight through the nation of Mulhorand (literal offshoot of enslaved Egyptians introduced to Faerun by the Imaskari wizards) and into the Sea of Fallen Stars. There isn't a jungle to the south of Mulhorand, though, oddly enough.
The great cities of Khem are glorious, the limestone and gold shining in the desert from a long way off. Deeper in the desert are crypts and tombs from ancient, forgotten civilisations, and even vast cyclopean cities of black marble. The greatest of these lies in the Desert of Storms, a forgotten place where eternal storms rage and horrible creatures lurk in the land.
This is basically more of the same Egypt stuff. With an addition of a 'here be dragons' style use of monsters.
Here live the great Sand Dragons,
Oh, wait... that's quite literal. Here be dragons indeed.
strange creatures who seem to be fighting something there, something terrible. Perhaps the rumours of necromancers and an empire of undead are true...
Absolutely nothing terribly original about this. But it does make me notice something, just one tiny thing. The layout of this whole thing sounds awfully familiar to my very trained fantasy fan ears. You see; when we don't take it as being a literal straight line downwards, my knowledge of the aforementioned Forgotten Realms becomes very, very handy.

Ahem; you see, at a very northern point, we have the nation of Damara, which is all well and good on its own. It's a lawful-evil/lawful-neutral/neutral-evil place which basically generally means 'tyranny goes on here'. There's also, incidentally, a lycanthrope infestation.

West-but-a-bit-south of that we have the elven nation of Cormanthor which has several secret magical arts and a few human settlements in the Dalelands that they're not concerned about.

East-but-a-bit-south from that, we have the Earthspur Mountains (and a bit more northern, the Galena Mountains), which are mined and lived in a bit by the dwarves. And also some gnomes, who are the noted engineers and artificers.

Then we follow on south-east into the nation of Impiltur, which is a pirate-beset trader nation that's dwindling and ruled by a weak king. Sound familiar so far?

And following that south, we enter the Sea of Fallen Stars (in the middle, incidentally), which is filled with a bunch of pirate-run islands that have proven impossible to be rid of so far.

Going further south, and skipping around the nations of Aglarond and Unther, we have Mulhorand. At the east of which there is a mountain range from which a river flows west into the ocean. The whole thing's desert, and there are many crypts, abandoned treasures, lost cities... and sand dragons. In this mountain range there is also a place called the City of the Dead.


CAN YOU DO NOTHING ORIGINAL?!
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Magister Militum »

It's Kamin, Dak. What do you honestly expect?
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Dakarne »

I don't really expect much.

What I intend to do here is basically point out that, 'Yes, this is yet another incidence of Kamin ripping stuff off, and here's what...'
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'For the moment, mortal, they find the thought of killing me more desirable than that of killing you.'
'And what are their chances?'
'The answer to that is evident in how long they've been hesitating, wouldn't you think, mortal?'

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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Heretic »

Sidhes are faeries? I didn't know that.

As for your...universe..

Now, I'm not as picky as Dakarne, but still, he does have a point. So far, we have barely seen any originality. Arrogant elves with mystical cities? Human folly and generic kingdoms? Dwarf mechanics? King Pendragon?

I'm sorry, but I could find these settings while playing World of Warcraft, or the infinite books that churned out in the 80s...notably Forgotten Realm, Dragonlance, and who knows how many wannabes.

Let me give you a tip: This wouldn't be so bad if you gave some specifics on stuff like stories, politics, or, a simple starting place for you, and I will only give this recommendation to people in desperate need, is FOOD! Yes, make some twisted food, and then the pieces will fit together. Worked with me with RedCorps during my first Hardcore Way.

Another tip: If, per chance, you can't make originality for some odd reason, then make a story concerning your universe that isn't unoriginal, and then people will forgive you. Or at least I will.
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Dakarne »

I did find this in a Forgotten Realms sourcebook; primarily because it seems to have been copy-pasted straight from there with very little adjustment except to add an occasional jungle or secret grove of faeries into it.
Image
'For the moment, mortal, they find the thought of killing me more desirable than that of killing you.'
'And what are their chances?'
'The answer to that is evident in how long they've been hesitating, wouldn't you think, mortal?'

-Anomander Rake and Ganoes Paran in Gardens of the Moon by Steven Erikson
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Czernobog »

Dakarne wrote:Well, where to start? Well, let's start from the top and work directly downwards.
The world of Allarius is a world of darkness and terror. Wolf-men prowl the forests, and ancient powers guard long-forgotten groves. Yet to defend themselves, the mortal races have formed great kingdoms.
So what we've established is WEREWOLVES! and ANCIENT POWERS!... and the fact that there's been a bit of kingdom-forming. Great. That's quite perfect. Except that it isn't; it's supposed to be a world of darkness and terror, yet all you've got is more humanoid versions of wolves (which we've dealt with before in real life; only they were four-legged) and people-who-may-well-be-gods-but-it-doesn't-matter-because-they're-just-guarding-groves. I mean; unless all of humanity's resources come from the control of these groves, it isn't much of a bloody problem!
The Kingdom of Aesirheim, to the north, is defended by the knights, loyal sevants of the king, who opress the peasants greatly, and the magi, who are feared and hated for their strange powers as much as they are tolerated. Ruled by king Pendragon, there are several places within its realm that house entrances to the land of the fickle and capricious Sidhe. Such lands are feared by all common folk, as the Sidhe do not take intruders likely, and anybody who enters without their blessing is likely to be consumed alive by the forest itself.
Rightio, we've got the Kingdom of Aesirheim to the North, defended by the knights. Well... er... what knights? A knight is a general type of military nobility, not a specific group! You could make an argument for samurai effectively being their own type of knights. And then you've got being ruled by King Pendragon, which is all well and good, but which one is it? This one? Or his son? Now, of course, the magi being feared and hated as much as tolerated is nothing new; it's practically every single fantasy story in existence that isn't set in bloody Halruaa or Netheril. So, then we've got the forest faeries being naughty. Which, now that I think of it, sounds awfully familiar for some reason.

I mean, it's all very Arthurian, naturally, but with the exception of two features (the toleration of magi and the faeries using forests), what we've got here is something that sounds, and probably, knowing you, is almost identical to this. It would not be the first time that a BBC sci-fi/fantasy show has influenced you, would it?
South of Aesirheim are the lands of the Elves, and the beauty of their marbled cities are incredible. However, the Elves are arrogant and disdainful of the other races, and any human or dwarf who enters their lands is not likely to be welcome. Small human settlements are there in the woods of the Elven kingdoms, but the Elves merely ignore them. However, the Elves are more skilled in the ways of magic than the humans, and are knowledgeable in the art of Astromancy, which human magi have only an inkling of. The elves have mostly tamed their forests, and are on somewhat good relations with the sidhe, but darkness still lurks in the deepest groves and glades.
So... the lands of the elves are called what, now? You seem to have omitted a name or two here. And their marbled cities are incredible, are they? And you're a bit inconsistent there; 'HUMANS ARE NOT WELCOME... except for that lot over there, the other lot here, and those living in the slums by the capital city, which we don't care about, BUT STILL!' Of course, elves must keep secret their old and arcane art of ASTROMANCY! ... er... what is astromancy, in terms for those of us without psychic powers? Naturally, though, the elves are on good terms with what are essentially their more Celtic-themed cousins, aren't they? They must be, of course. That's how things work.

As it stands, this is more or less standard.
Forther south are the Iron Mountains, in which the dwarven cities are built. The dwarves are skilled in the art of engineering, and their cities are filled with mechanical wonders.
Would these cities somewhat resemble this one? Would they include a massive central forge, trams, tanks, helicopters, etc. or...?
However, dark creatures lurk in the deeps, and the dwarves must constantly fight to protect them.
Rightio... so you mean like this one?

Image
The dwarves have knowledge of the art of elementalism, which allows direct control over the four elements. Neither elves nor humans know how to perform this, and the dwarves claim the ability is innate. Anyway, the strongest elementalists are those that specialise in but one element - it seems as if elementalists are either strong in one, or weak in two or more.
Hmm... where have I seen heavily elementalist dwarves before? It seems awfully familiar to me. Oh, god, if only I could remember where I'd seen it! Oh... wait... that's right. Septemplicis Occultum. Granted, the dwarves were earth-elementalists and not much else, but to be quite honest, even I have had this idea before. It was indeed abandoned, as I'd begun to work on a completely new approach...
South of the Iron Mountains is the human Empire of Byzantos, a failing empire governed by a weak king, long fallen from its heights of splendour and glory. The people of Byzantos stubbornly fight off corsairs from the island of Al-Imaji in the Middle Sea, between Khem and Byzantos. Al-Imaji is an island of pirates and thieves, and its port city, Alexandros, is a home of nothing but vice and squalor. The fleets of Khem and Byzantos combined cannot defeat the seemingly-innumerable pirates, who have dominion over most of the islands in the Middle Sea.
Er... is this all south? Diagonally or in a straight line? Incidentally, this long-falling empire is moderately familiar. Mostly because it's like many other I've seen. And then you've got the port city of Alexandros being a place of vice and squallor, and then the islands of pirates in the middle which everyone must struggle constantly against. Wait a fucking minute, this is fucking Impiltur. If not, it's a damn good impression. I mean; it's almost exactly a carbon copy. They face more or less the exact same problems, for more or less the exact same reasons.
South of Byzantos, on the shores of the Middle Sea, lies the land of Khem, a strange place of animal-headed gods and dark magic.
'Khem' sounds much like a cough. A whole lot like a cough. Incidentally, it sounds an awful lot like Egypt. To the point of me assuming that this is more or less your own Fantasy Counterpart Culture version. No worries, though; you're not the first, but you won't be the last.
The people of Khem live mostly next to the great river Asettra, which stretches from the eastern mountains to the Middle Sea. Countless tributaries join the river, mostly from the jungles to the south, and a great delta forms where it reaches the Middle Sea.
Interesting, I interestingly note that there is a similar setup from the Dragonsword Mountains in the aforementioned Faerun (of which Impiltur is a part), where there's western-directed river running from there straight through the nation of Mulhorand (literal offshoot of enslaved Egyptians introduced to Faerun by the Imaskari wizards) and into the Sea of Fallen Stars. There isn't a jungle to the south of Mulhorand, though, oddly enough.
The great cities of Khem are glorious, the limestone and gold shining in the desert from a long way off. Deeper in the desert are crypts and tombs from ancient, forgotten civilisations, and even vast cyclopean cities of black marble. The greatest of these lies in the Desert of Storms, a forgotten place where eternal storms rage and horrible creatures lurk in the land.
This is basically more of the same Egypt stuff. With an addition of a 'here be dragons' style use of monsters.
Here live the great Sand Dragons,
Oh, wait... that's quite literal. Here be dragons indeed.
strange creatures who seem to be fighting something there, something terrible. Perhaps the rumours of necromancers and an empire of undead are true...
Absolutely nothing terribly original about this. But it does make me notice something, just one tiny thing. The layout of this whole thing sounds awfully familiar to my very trained fantasy fan ears. You see; when we don't take it as being a literal straight line downwards, my knowledge of the aforementioned Forgotten Realms becomes very, very handy.

Ahem; you see, at a very northern point, we have the nation of Damara, which is all well and good on its own. It's a lawful-evil/lawful-neutral/neutral-evil place which basically generally means 'tyranny goes on here'. There's also, incidentally, a lycanthrope infestation.

West-but-a-bit-south of that we have the elven nation of Cormanthor which has several secret magical arts and a few human settlements in the Dalelands that they're not concerned about.

East-but-a-bit-south from that, we have the Earthspur Mountains (and a bit more northern, the Galena Mountains), which are mined and lived in a bit by the dwarves. And also some gnomes, who are the noted engineers and artificers.

Then we follow on south-east into the nation of Impiltur, which is a pirate-beset trader nation that's dwindling and ruled by a weak king. Sound familiar so far?

And following that south, we enter the Sea of Fallen Stars (in the middle, incidentally), which is filled with a bunch of pirate-run islands that have proven impossible to be rid of so far.

Going further south, and skipping around the nations of Aglarond and Unther, we have Mulhorand. At the east of which there is a mountain range from which a river flows west into the ocean. The whole thing's desert, and there are many crypts, abandoned treasures, lost cities... and sand dragons. In this mountain range there is also a place called the City of the Dead.


CAN YOU DO NOTHING ORIGINAL?!
I do not know anything about the Forgotten Realms. My only knowledge is somewhat vague. And as a matter of fact, I do play World of Warcraft, though I did not consciously base the Elves and the Dwarves on Silvermoon and Ironforge. I will also flesh out the world a little more, and move it away from being a straight pliagarism. Note that I only cover the major kingdoms, and each kingdom has more than one archetype.
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Czernobog »

Note to Dakarne: I've edited it somewhat, taken out some bits of pliagarism and such, and generally made it somewhate better.
You have ruled this galaxy for ten thousand years.
You have little of account to show for your efforts.
Order. Unity. Obedience.
We taught the galaxy these things.

And we shall do so again.
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Mobius 1 »

Quoting a massive post with a single paragraph in response? Nice. Stay classy, man.
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Dakarne »

I do not know anything about the Forgotten Realms. My only knowledge is somewhat vague.
And yet you manage to make such a 'coincidentally' similar set orientation of countries? Complete with nearly the exact same sort of geography, national problems and middle-ocean that suffers from having impregnable pirate islands between a failing kingdom and what is effectively a renamed Egypt, I might point out.
And as a matter of fact, I do play World of Warcraft, though I did not consciously base the Elves and the Dwarves on Silvermoon and Ironforge.
I was merely pointing out the sheer unoriginality and genericness of it in those instances. If you're generic enough that you're being mistaken for World of Warcraft or Forgotten Realms, you are not being very creative. I've been working for ages on my fantasy world, but yours seems to have simply been conjured up in an attack of phlegm that you just had.
I will also flesh out the world a little more, and move it away from being a straight pliagarism. Note that I only cover the major kingdoms, and each kingdom has more than one archetype.
It's still a highly generic setting. Without much to distinguish it or make it seem in any way original; and I can't conjure up much in the way of interest in your setting, Kamin, because your ideas generally suck if they are original, or are highly butchered to the point of sucking if they aren't.
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'For the moment, mortal, they find the thought of killing me more desirable than that of killing you.'
'And what are their chances?'
'The answer to that is evident in how long they've been hesitating, wouldn't you think, mortal?'

-Anomander Rake and Ganoes Paran in Gardens of the Moon by Steven Erikson
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Czernobog »

Dakarne wrote:
I do not know anything about the Forgotten Realms. My only knowledge is somewhat vague.
And yet you manage to make such a 'coincidentally' similar set orientation of countries? Complete with nearly the exact same sort of geography, national problems and middle-ocean that suffers from having impregnable pirate islands between a failing kingdom and what is effectively a renamed Egypt, I might point out.
I do not own any Forgotten Realms sourcebooks, nor do I play DnD.
And as a matter of fact, I do play World of Warcraft, though I did not consciously base the Elves and the Dwarves on Silvermoon and Ironforge.
I was merely pointing out the sheer unoriginality and genericness of it in those instances. If you're generic enough that you're being mistaken for World of Warcraft or Forgotten Realms, you are not being very creative. I've been working for ages on my fantasy world, but yours seems to have simply been conjured up in an attack of phlegm that you just had.
I do admit it needs a lot more work.
I will also flesh out the world a little more, and move it away from being a straight pliagarism. Note that I only cover the major kingdoms, and each kingdom has more than one archetype.
It's still a highly generic setting. Without much to distinguish it or make it seem in any way original; and I can't conjure up much in the way of interest in your setting, Kamin, because your ideas generally suck if they are original, or are highly butchered to the point of sucking if they aren't.
I promise I will try my hardest to make it original.
You have ruled this galaxy for ten thousand years.
You have little of account to show for your efforts.
Order. Unity. Obedience.
We taught the galaxy these things.

And we shall do so again.
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Dakarne »

Kamin997 wrote:I do not own any Forgotten Realms sourcebooks, nor do I play DnD.
You could have, and very much did, fool me. I mean; that was an almost identical setup and what you produced was something that came off as a direct copy with most of the words changed and a few features from BBC TV shows added. And given your track record of plagiarism and dishonesty, I'm not actually convinced yet that this isn't a direct clone of Forgotten Realms.
I do admit it needs a lot more work.
Understatement of the year... to be quite honest, there's absolutely nothing redeemable, original, or even remotely interesting about your work.
I promise I will try my hardest to make it original.
How about just giving up entirely? I mean it; you've spent your entire time here trying unsuccessfully to create something you see as original, or even of any high quality. As it stands, given your record, I'd just fuck off and find something else to do with your life. You obviously can't do anything remotely original, interesting or, indeed, lasting no matter how hard you've been trying. Just... give it up.
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'And what are their chances?'
'The answer to that is evident in how long they've been hesitating, wouldn't you think, mortal?'

-Anomander Rake and Ganoes Paran in Gardens of the Moon by Steven Erikson
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Czernobog »

The Empire of Byzantos

The Empire of Byzantos stretches along the coast of the Middle Sea and up to the Iron Mountains, from the Peninsula of Thessalon to the Vasilios River. Byzantos was a nation founded on military virtues, and every noble is required to spend time in the army. There are no knights commanding a feudal militia, as in Aesirheim, but a disciplined, professional army, well-equipped and well-trained, an elite force that has taken on armies many times its size and come out victorious. Byzantos''s government is based upon two concepts - the Senate and the Emperor. The Senate consists of 50 Senators, one representing each province, as well as an innumerable number of minor functionaries, and is largely responsible for administration - while the Emperor is ruler and is responsible for military and civil matters, though he generally delegates these to the Praetor and the Lord-General, though the current Emperor, Vasilios IV, takes both of these positions himself.

Byzantos takes its name from its capital, founded by Byzant, the first Emperor, approximately fifteen hundred years ago, according to the Imperial Reckoning. Byzant was essentially a warlord, one of innumerable others in the region, but he was well-placed to begin an epoch of conquest that resulted in the formation of the Empire. The other tribes were fighting amongst each other, and none saw how dangerous Byzant was until it was too late. Using a shrewd combination of diplomacy and warfare, he quickly established Byzantos as a strong power, and before dying he passed on the reins of leadership to his son Darion, who declared Byzant a god as his first act of leadership. Darion was a strong warrior, and eventually he conquered Thessalon, borrowing the idea of the Senate from its city-states. As the Empire grew larger its army evolved also, becoming highly professional. During this period martial virtues were looked on as the greatest possible, and it became a source of shame to a nobleman if he did not have a son in the army. This period also saw contact with the dwarves of the Iron Mountains, who became friends of Byzantos, although this bond has waned in recent years. Byzantos soon conquered all the way to the Vasilios river, named after the second Emperor of that name.

Then came the reign of Alexandros the Great, Byzantos' greatest leader to date. Under his rule, art and culture flourished, and Byzantos conquered the island of Alexandros, named after him, and founded the city of the same name. During this time, Byzantos even had an outpost in nortwestern Khem! Then came the Long Peace, in which barbarian tribes feared to attack the Vasilios River, and watch-posts along it were removed. The Empire became more spread out, while the military was centralised around the city of Byzantos. Alexandros became a merchant trading center, though it was still somewhat guarded. The nobility sending their heirs into the army became a matter of tradition, and the generals had little idea of how to fight.

But then the war came. The trading ambitions of Byzantos and Khem clashed, and war quickly became unavoidable. The navy of Khem blockaded Alexandros, while the army of Byzantos crossed the Vasilios. The march was intended to be quick and decisive, swinging through the Isthmus of Aswun to strike a decisive blow at the delta of the Asettra. The result was a disaster. The supply convoys were heavily delayed, and the army was forced to subsist off the Khem farming villages in the area. Entire towns were burned to the ground, and innumerable farmsteads were destroyed, their storehouses raided and their granaries emptied. Then, the army, enraged by the resistance shown, burned the city of Aswun itself to the ground. The city was obliterated, the only sign of its presence being its shattered walls. The army, without any orders from its superiors (whose messengers had been ambushed and killed by the barbarians) ravaged the area, raiding and looting much of Khem's farmland. Thousands of farmers were either killed or driven off the land, and the result was a terrible famine in Khem. But the soldiers of Byzantos had wasted their time raiding, and the armies of Khem annihilated them.

A full half of Byzantos' army and navy had been destroyed, but the people of Khem could not fight the war any longer, due to the famine. The war ended inconclusively, but it was the beginning of Byzantos' decline.

The Emperors became either ineffectual or tyrannical, and Byzantos fell from its heights. The final humiliation came when Sheik Allaram from the peninsula of Al-Iratu conquered the island of Alexandros and renamed it Al-Imaji. Sheik Allaram fell from power, and Al-Imaji became a haven of pirates and thieves, the grand boulevards of Alexandros filling with hovels and shacks. The Temple of the Gods became the Corsair Lord's palace, and Byzantos lost all of its holdings in the Middle Sea to the pirates. The Emperor Darion V made an attempt at reconquering it, but since that fateful day, two hundred years ago, Al-Imaji has been ruled by pirates and is their chief stronghold and port.

Pirate raids constantly take place, despite the current Emperor's countless bribes, and those who live on the coast do not know if their next morning will be free or as slaves, and many of the slaves in the world's markets come from hapless villagers of Byzantos.

Byzantos currently worships the Eight Gods. These are:

Zeonos
God of lightning, the sky, and kingship. He is also concerned with magic and philosophy. The most well-known god. All villages in Byzantos will include a shrine or temple to Zeus.

Erebos
God of justice, the dead, and graveyards. He is also concerned with protections from the terrors of the night, and is associated with good luck charms and other such amulets. He is not concerned with punishment of the wicked dead - that is the concern of his brother Tartarus. Judges revere him, as he is the ultimate judge.

Neptunos
God of the sea, anger, and storms. He is also concerned with horses. Sailors invoke his protection before going on a long voyage.

Demetar
Goddess of the earth, healing, and motherhood. Is also concerned with the seasons of spring and summer. Women about to give birth invoke her, as do farmers and women who wish to concieve. Is associated with the earth.

Tartaros
Punisher of the dead who have performed evil in life. His realm, also called Tartarus, is percieved as a realm of everlasting cold and ice, where sinners walk around aimlessly, fruitlessly attempting to find shelter.

Darion
An ascended mortal, also known as the second Emperor. He is the god of war and warfare, and also tactics and strategy. Typically percieved as a young man in armour and no helmet, an eagle perched on one hand and a sword in the other.

Byzant
The god of cities. Percieved as an older man, a rolled scroll in one hand and a shield in the other. He also wears a helmet, symbolising his military aspect as father of Darion. An ascended mortal, also known as the first Emperor.

Among these gods are innumerable ranks of demigods, typically Emperors but also great heroes and warriors.

The timeline of the Empire is generally thus:

0 IR (Imperial Reckoning) Byzantos founded; Byzant declared first Emperor. Enemy tribes are conquered or allied with. Byzant dominant ruler around the Fields of Darion.

26 IR Byzant dies; Darion I declared Emperor; Byzant elevated to god.

30 IR Darion conquers Thessalon; founds Senate; his attention turns eastward.

35 IR Conquest of the Fields of Darion completed; Darion turns internally, building monuments and temples; names the River Darion after himself.

40 IR Darion I dies in battle; body interred in Tomb of the Emperors; Vasilios I crowned Emperor.

50 IR Vasilios I marches northward; makes treaty with the dwarves; is drowned after being ambushed by barbarians at Darion's Ford.

51 IR Vasilios II crowned; campaigns in the east heavily.

53 IR Battle of the Vasilios River; campaign halted; victory over barbarians, though at high price; Vasilios II killed. Darion II crowned.

55 IR Darion II murdered by usurper; civil war begins.

58 IR Civil war ends; Vasilios III (usurper) captured and executed. Emperor Volkanos I crowned.

68 IR Wolf-men spread into Byzantos; Volkanos hunts them down; killed in the final battle. Emperor Darion III crowned.

89 IR Darion III dies of old age; rumours say he was poisoned. Emperor Constantos I crowned.

115 IR Constantos I dies fighting Elvish raiders; Body not found. Emperor Omanos crowned.

221 IR Emperor Omanos dies of old age, having outlived all his children. Emperor Darion IV crowned.

256 IR Darion IV dies fighting invaders from Khem. Emperor Alexandros I crowned. He is the first emperor to be a mage.

678 IR Alexandros I dies. The coast is secured against invasions from Khem. Emperor Constantos II crowned. He is also a mage.

1235 IR Rebellion against the tyrannous Constantos II. Lord-General Alexandros, leader of the revolt, crowns himself Emperor. He is Alexandros the Great.

1237 IR Conquest of the island of Alexandros. Emperor Alexandros founds city of Alexandros. Expedition from Thessalon sent to build outpost on Al-Iratu. Islands of Middle Sea brought under rule of Byzantos. Beginning of the Long Peace.

1256 IR Alexandros dies. His son, Constantos III, builds trading networks, increasing them to incredible heights.

1300 IR War with Khem. Constantos III dies in battle. Island of Alexandros lost to Sheik Allaram and renamed Al-Imaji. End of Long Peace. Emperor Volkanos II crowned.

1345 IR Volkanos II encreases taxes to disastrous levels. Many people are starving and Byzantos is losing its territory as Volkanos II feasts in his palace.

1354 IR Volkanos II assassinated by son, Darion V, who crowns himself as Emperor.

1360 IR Darion V attempts to reclaim Island of Alexandros. Expedition meets with failure. Crown Prince Constantos IV is forced to ransom his father back.

1370 IR Darion V is found dead in his bed. Rumours of poisoning and assassination abound. Constantos IV crowned as Emperor.

1400 IR The tyrant Constantos IV is killed when mobs storm the palace. His son Darion VI takes over.

1450 IR Darion VI attempts to negotiate with the Corsair Lord for the island of Alexandros. His head is brought back to Byzantos. Emperor Vasilios IV crowned.

1500 IR Current year.

(Work in progress)
Last edited by Czernobog on Wed Nov 05, 2008 8:33 pm, edited 3 times in total.
You have ruled this galaxy for ten thousand years.
You have little of account to show for your efforts.
Order. Unity. Obedience.
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Czernobog »

Dakarne wrote:
Kamin997 wrote:I do not own any Forgotten Realms sourcebooks, nor do I play DnD.
You could have, and very much did, fool me. I mean; that was an almost identical setup and what you produced was something that came off as a direct copy with most of the words changed and a few features from BBC TV shows added. And given your track record of plagiarism and dishonesty, I'm not actually convinced yet that this isn't a direct clone of Forgotten Realms.
I suppose it's bias, Dakarne...from our time on Spacebattles. I am sorry for that horrible attempt at a fanfic. How much do I have to do to earn your trust? I knew almost nothing about Forgotten Realms before you showed your 'summary'. Certainly not in that detail.
I do admit it needs a lot more work.
Understatement of the year... to be quite honest, there's absolutely nothing redeemable, original, or even remotely interesting about your work.


Of course, you insult my work...you disliked me on SpaceBattles, and you never changed your impressions from that moment on. You were an active participant in FieldMarshal's threads designed to belittle me.
I promise I will try my hardest to make it original.
How about just giving up entirely? I mean it; you've spent your entire time here trying unsuccessfully to create something you see as original, or even of any high quality. As it stands, given your record, I'd just fuck off and find something else to do with your life. You obviously can't do anything remotely original, interesting or, indeed, lasting no matter how hard you've been trying. Just... give it up.
I just don't want to give up. Why should I? Especially your insults. I will not give up. I am that determined. I am not insulting you, not flaming you, just pointing out facts. And if you don't like my work, simply don't read it. You're not obliged to. Or you could actually give constructive criticism. The choice is yours.

And as for your claims that I can't create anything lasting...well, I have incredible creativity, but also horrible cases of writer's block. There are times when I literally cannot think of anything to write, and I just can't figure out a way to get around it. And it is often the case that I often get massive amounts of views on my articles and fanfics, but absolutely no feedback. Not even complaints or criticism. Just nothing. But I am determined to succeeed in spite of my faults, and if you can't sympathise with that, it's your own problem.
You have ruled this galaxy for ten thousand years.
You have little of account to show for your efforts.
Order. Unity. Obedience.
We taught the galaxy these things.

And we shall do so again.
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Heretic »

Well, maybe I should point things out, being a bit more neutral within whatever is going on.

Kamin, I don't know you much, other than taking my character from that vampire/magic rp, as well as making the superweapons in OZ and O1 world rp, but I think you need to take your hands off the keyboard, look at some great classics, and then go to a vague bookstore and see how many wannabes those spawned. Virtually everything has been done. There have been times when I wanted to make a future theocracy with smoking hot nuns that can be badass, but that was taken already taken, and this was before I knew Warhammer 40k. Even Dakarne's universe is generally similar to a dozen other vampire books.

The thing you are missing is the first impression twist. You can twist it all you want, but if you are careless, it will be scarred as a generic during the first viewing. I mean, my original Hardcore Way would've been a "Star Wars, with Earth" if it hadn't been for a megacorporation selling kits to start civilizations, tribal lizards that play Xbox while bashing each other with clubs, and an ancient race that got their celestial asses kicked by a dud nuke, and are now protected by a child's block. As I said on my first post, you gotta twist it around.
Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Nevermind »

I'm not one to judge when I don't know people. So this isn't a commentary on you. I don't know who you are and what history you have with others here, but to be frank, I don't give a flying fuck at the moment. Do something dumber than this, and it might irk me, but for now, I don't care.

I'm not nearly as perturbed by the Forgotten Realms rip-off as I am about the unoriginality of everything else. I can't blame you all that much, considering there are published writers that did FR all by their onesy, totally independent of one another and WotC, and some didn't even notice. The publishers didn't seem to notice (or care), either. I'm not forgiving you or giving you a passing grade - in fact, it I were grading this solely based on that, you'd have failed so bad, an F wouldn't cover it. I'd be giving you a goddamn Z.

No, see, what really, really bothers me is your taking - not even borrowing, just flat out taking from popular mythology and history. If you're going to use mythology, use something less-known, like Hinduism or Bhuddism or Shinto or the Mystery Religions from before Christianity. Hell, even Egyptian Mythology or old Arabic mythology is preferable to the overused Greek stuff. Yes, despite the totally new names you've invented for them, I could still figure out who they are. And "Byzantos"? Not clever, dude. Not. Clever.

I mean, I used from an older mixing of Hinduism and Bhuddism without ever having read a shred of literature from that period. It's totally unrecognizable, and I've twisted so that it works to my advantage. When you're using things known to most of the world, try to at least twist it.

And why on God's industrial earth and Steve Jobs' iPod Empire is Pendragon in there? So random. At least have the grace to use Arthur and spare us all the eye-rolling. (if there's one thing that doesn't get old, it's Arthurian mythology - assuming it's done right)

Dude, there are so many things out there that haven't been used enough. Sure, nothing new under the sun, but there are understated things. C'mon, dude. Be serious and quit mocking the rest of us with this. Writing is serious business, and you're just making it look like any old idiot can do this. And this is just based off of your previous posts. If I knew you any better, I shudder to think what this signifies.

Nevermind.

Edit: Let it be known that I wrote this before I saw that you'd made it Arthur Pendragon. :lol: Just changing it to Arthut without fixing all the other problems doesn't make it better. Just letting you know.
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"Fuck you," said the raven.
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Dakarne »

Kamin997 wrote:I suppose it's bias, Dakarne...from our time on Spacebattles. I am sorry for that horrible attempt at a fanfic. How much do I have to do to earn your trust?
Well, let's put it this way; your 'horrible attempt at a fanfic' was to copy, paste and edit down an identical fanfic from StarDestroyer.Net, not even changing the title, and post it in its entirety on SpaceBattles. There are few sins in writing any greater than direct plagiarism, and the fact is that you've damned yourself to the point where no one who even remotely knows you can trust your word on anything you write.
I knew almost nothing about Forgotten Realms before you showed your 'summary'. Certainly not in that detail.
And then, of course, what you do expect me to believe? That your track record of directly ripping off from a plethora of established fiction is in fact a massive exception in this case and it's just a coincidence, or that your massively overwhelming habit has won off again? I will perhaps give you the benefit of the doubt, and you're
Of course, you insult my work...you disliked me on SpaceBattles, and you never changed your impressions from that moment on. You were an active participant in FieldMarshal's threads designed to belittle me.
Yes, because I can't see why someone would belittle, insult, or doubt the work of a proven and repeated plagiarist with a really unimpressive track record. :roll: I mean, it's just so unfair. But let me put it this way; imagine you'd spent a lot of time, effort and creativity on something, and then someone else posted it somewhere else under the same name, with the only changes being a few minor things...

It hurts. It makes you angry. And it's basically the absolute worst thing you can do in fiction. Even if I give you the benefit of the doubt in this case, you have an irreparably bad reputation in my eyes for all of the times you have ripped people off to that extent.
I just don't want to give up. Why should I? Especially your insults. I will not give up. I am that determined. I am not insulting you, not flaming you, just pointing out facts.
You think I'm insulting you currently? You think I'm flaming you? Jesus Christ, you're one of the most sheltered people I've ever met. As it stands, though; giving up may well be your best bet. I mean, think of, since I'm assuming you're British from a few signs, the X-Factor. Do you think Simon Cowell is doing bad singers a disservice by telling them they can't sing, or not? It's more or less the same thing from the point of view of writing fiction.
And if you don't like my work, simply don't read it. You're not obliged to. Or you could actually give constructive criticism. The choice is yours.
If I were to offer any constructive criticism to begin with on this world; political geography is very rarely arranged a straight vertical line. After we've established that, the idea of star based divination has been in human culture for most of the history of civilisation; the idea of astromancy is ultimately a very underwhelming one. Byzantos is far too similar to Byzantine. Aesirheim makes me think of the home of the Norse Gods, which is moderately underwhelming when you learn it's merely an Arthurian-inspired realm, similarly; rename King Arthur Pendragon as the name carries a lot of connotations that you might want to avoid. The Iron Mountains already appeared in Tolkien's Middle-Earth fantasy, so you may want to rename them. I'd remove the sand dragons, as they're not very interesting, or at least make them more impressive than just 'desert-dwelling dragons' because there's absolutely no punch to them.

As for the empire of the undead; don't do it, it's not nearly as interesting as it sounds, trust me. I have fallen myself near that pit-trap. The undead work far better as an incoherent, disease-like threat and not as an evil empire. Evil empires far better favour faceless troops or grotesque mutants of some sort.

Khem also still sounds much like a cough, given the 'kh' pronounced as the Scottish 'ch' in 'loch', which I'm assuming you used given that's the way I'd do it.

Is that good enough?
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'For the moment, mortal, they find the thought of killing me more desirable than that of killing you.'
'And what are their chances?'
'The answer to that is evident in how long they've been hesitating, wouldn't you think, mortal?'

-Anomander Rake and Ganoes Paran in Gardens of the Moon by Steven Erikson
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Czernobog »

Dakarne wrote:
Kamin997 wrote:I suppose it's bias, Dakarne...from our time on Spacebattles. I am sorry for that horrible attempt at a fanfic. How much do I have to do to earn your trust?
Well, let's put it this way; your 'horrible attempt at a fanfic' was to copy, paste and edit down an identical fanfic from StarDestroyer.Net, not even changing the title, and post it in its entirety on SpaceBattles. There are few sins in writing any greater than direct plagiarism, and the fact is that you've damned yourself to the point where no one who even remotely knows you can trust your word on anything you write.
I will never, ever make that mistake again, and I have lerned my lessons from that debacle.
I knew almost nothing about Forgotten Realms before you showed your 'summary'. Certainly not in that detail.
And then, of course, what you do expect me to believe? That your track record of directly ripping off from a plethora of established fiction is in fact a massive exception in this case and it's just a coincidence, or that your massively overwhelming habit has won off again? I will perhaps give you the benefit of the doubt, and you're
I did not know about Forgotten Realms in that detail. I play Warhammer and World of Warcraft, not DnD. I vaguely knew the names of some nations, but absolutely nothing else. I have never even opened a Forgotten Realms sourcebook or looked it up on the internet. I simply wasn't curious.
Of course, you insult my work...you disliked me on SpaceBattles, and you never changed your impressions from that moment on. You were an active participant in FieldMarshal's threads designed to belittle me.
Yes, because I can't see why someone would belittle, insult, or doubt the work of a proven and repeated plagiarist with a really unimpressive track record. :roll: I mean, it's just so unfair. But let me put it this way; imagine you'd spent a lot of time, effort and creativity on something, and then someone else posted it somewhere else under the same name, with the only changes being a few minor things...
It hurts. It makes you angry. And it's basically the absolute worst thing you can do in fiction. Even if I give you the benefit of the doubt in this case, you have an irreparably bad reputation in my eyes for all of the times you have ripped people off to that extent.[/quote]

If you may understand, that abortion of a pliagarism was the first and only pliagarised fanfic I made. There was quite a lot of good stuff, but a tiny amount were good. One even had FieldMarshal saying that I had gotten better.

I just don't want to give up. Why should I? Especially your insults. I will not give up. I am that determined. I am not insulting you, not flaming you, just pointing out facts.
You think I'm insulting you currently? You think I'm flaming you? Jesus Christ, you're one of the most sheltered people I've ever met. As it stands, though; giving up may well be your best bet. I mean, think of, since I'm assuming you're British from a few signs, the X-Factor. Do you think Simon Cowell is doing bad singers a disservice by telling them they can't sing, or not? It's more or less the same thing from the point of view of writing fiction.
The thing is, I am determined to succeed in worldbuilding despite my flaws. My aspiration is to become a writer; you're basically telling me 'give up all your aspirations' and I just won't obey that.
And if you don't like my work, simply don't read it. You're not obliged to. Or you could actually give constructive criticism. The choice is yours.

If I were to offer any constructive criticism to begin with on this world; political geography is very rarely arranged a straight vertical line. After we've established that, the idea of star based divination has been in human culture for most of the history of civilisation; the idea of astromancy is ultimately a very underwhelming one. Byzantos is far too similar to Byzantine. Aesirheim makes me think of the home of the Norse Gods, which is moderately underwhelming when you learn it's merely an Arthurian-inspired realm, similarly; rename King Arthur Pendragon as the name carries a lot of connotations that you might want to avoid. The Iron Mountains already appeared in Tolkien's Middle-Earth fantasy, so you may want to rename them. I'd remove the sand dragons, as they're not very interesting, or at least make them more impressive than just 'desert-dwelling dragons' because there's absolutely no punch to them.

As for the empire of the undead; don't do it, it's not nearly as interesting as it sounds, trust me. I have fallen myself near that pit-trap. The undead work far better as an incoherent, disease-like threat and not as an evil empire. Evil empires far better favour faceless troops or grotesque mutants of some sort.

Khem also still sounds much like a cough, given the 'kh' pronounced as the Scottish 'ch' in 'loch', which I'm assuming you used given that's the way I'd do it.

Is that good enough?
Thanks for offering suggestions.
You have ruled this galaxy for ten thousand years.
You have little of account to show for your efforts.
Order. Unity. Obedience.
We taught the galaxy these things.

And we shall do so again.
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Re: Fantasy 'verse proposal

Post by Soban »

I'm gonna be nice for once and offer some tips.

I'll not parrot what others have said in this thread, save the suggestion to read. I had never even attempted fantasy writing (for those who actually remember, I started out writing sci-fi) until after I had read at least halfway through Lord of the Rings. I suggest you start there, and read through parts of The Silmarillion if you're a masochist like me (I actually finished it). Lots of worldbuilding, history, and fantastic shit there. And check out the other mainstays of fantasy, such as His Dark Materials, Discworld, etc. Don't work with inspirations like WoW or FR (not saying you are, just warnin' ya), they're unimaginitive recycles of recycles of recycles of the classics (Warcraft III's plot is a very bastardized version of the Elric of Melnibone saga).

And don't force yourself to write. Many people have noticed that I take really extended breaks from writing. I haven't produced anything of note in the last year and a half, practically. That's because I've been slaving over perfecting the worldbuilding aspect of my work. What I posted on OZ (Damnaticia) is virtually nothing like what I've got cooking now. That's how worlds evolve, and I suggest you do the same. Take inspirations, yeah, but work from there and let your imagination run wild. I think you have improved a little; your prose seems awful flowery, at least. But the content needs work as everyone else said. Again, take a break and get inspirations, check out the way professional authors write, study some non-Christian, non-Western mythology, and R-E-A-D. Go to the library and keep checking out classics, to the point to where you're on a first name basis with your librarian. I know we've all got lives, and folks like me that work full-time don't have a lot of reading time, but you just gotta make the time for something you have a passion for.

That's all for nao.
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