International Bridge Limbo Championship

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Malchus
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International Bridge Limbo Championship

Post by Malchus »

NOTE: My second transfer for now. This idea was thought up when I was in my cousins’ house helping to prepare for my cousin’s debut. It was when the younger brother of the debutant, Ben Carlo, and another cousin from the same city I’m from, James Michael, actually thought this up when playing Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War on Ben Carlo’s PS2. If you’ll notice, Belimote’s first names are a combination of theirs.

Anyway, there was this map in the games versus mode that looked somewhat like it was based on New York, including a Brooklyn bridge look alike. In one one-on-one match, the aforementioned cousins decided to see if they could go under the bridges and, long story short, our own private bridge limbo tournament was born. We tried every available aircraft that had been unlocked in the game, from Phantoms and Mirage 2000s, to F-18s and Su-27s, to Mig-31s and F-22s, and more. We had a shitload of fun and, during one game, I thought such a tournament wouldn’t be so out-of-place in Comix!


International Bridge Limbo Championship

In a world where metahumans, powerful alien egomaniacs, cyborg dinosaurs, freakish experiments, and other such not-exactly-normal things are commonplace, most so-called extreme sports just don’t provide the adrenaline rush to audiences than the competitors would like. After all, what are skateboarders doing half-pipes compared to metahumans zipping around the air? Where’s the excitement in street luge when you have supers running at even faster speeds? What’s so scary about bungee jumping when certain elements of the population can go through the same fall without the bungee cord and come out unscathed?

True, these games do still provide an element of exciting danger since mostly only non-metahumans are allowed to compete, and they still have a large enough number of aficionados and fans to keep ‘em going strong. However, the somewhat meta-ability-jaded general population, whether they knew it or not, desired an extreme sport that actually could actually come close to competing with the excitement of, say, seeing Archwind giving Mogar a left hook.

Enter extremely rich yet extremely bored multi-billionaire (to communist/socialist heroes, a distressingly common class of capitalist pig) Benjamin Michael Belimote. Belimote, even at the age of 67, was no stranger to excitement. In fact, he actively relished and sought it; to the unending frustration of his personal cardiologist. Benjamin was especially fond of air shows and has been known to have paid the Russian government several millions of dollars to be taken up in a few rides on acrobatic MiG and Sukhoi jets. Russia, admittedly not as financially well-off as it was during the height of the USSR, eagerly provided their aircraft’s services.

It was this fascination with aircraft that would make him come up with one of the most exciting and dangerous sports in the world. Although, he would get his inspiration from seemingly an unlikely source. One day, when he was quite bored, he was flipping through channels when he caught glimpses of both a televised limbo competition and the part of the movie True Lies wherein the Harrier jets made their attack run on the bridge. A thought suddenly struck him, what if the Harrier jets had tried to go under the bridge like the limbo contestants when under the bar?

If there was one thing that made Benjamin Michael Belimote a good businessman, it was his ability to latch on to a good idea, expand on it, and cash in. In a move that almost had his investors fleeing in fear of his sanity (or possible lack of it), he commissioned the construction of a full scale mock city about a hundred miles off the coast of Brazil. This mock city was modeled on New York, except it had more parts connected with bridges and, consequently, more bridges. Thanks to the commissioning of specialized, highly-advanced (and highly-expensive) construction machines from the Quartermass Experiment and expert lair builders from EVIL Corp, the mock city was built in record time.

As if this wasn’t puzzling enough to people, he had several custom-built jet aircraft constructed from the blue prints of the experimental X-31 of NASA. The designs were procured for Belimote by the EVIL Corp (though few can prove it) both because Belimote paid a hefty sum and because the EVIL Corp had their own plans for the design. The businessman also hired former air force pilots from different nations and put them in secret simulator training even before the completion of his customized “Belimote Buzzard” jets were completing, and finally air time in the jets when they were finished.

Of course, all of Belimote’s actions actually had him on the “Possible Supervillain-in-the-Making” watch list of several nations. After all, what other reason was there for a rich businessman to engage some of EVIL Corp’s services, commission his own city, and seemingly build his own private air force?

Turns out, Belimote did have another reason. When everything was almost completed, ads in the TV, radio, printed media, and the Internet started announcing a soon-to-be revealed new sport that would be coming to sports channels and webcasts worldwide. Unsurprisingly, there was a large build-up of excitement leading up to Belimote’s final revelation, especially since people knew it had something to do with all the things the business had been doing for the past year and a half.

Suffice it to say, the people weren’t disappointed for Belimote soon revealed a new extreme sport that would put to shame all other extreme sports, the International Bridge Limbo Championship. It was a rather grandiose name for eight jet aircraft piloted by former air force people hired form different countries taking turns trying to duck under as many bridges in the mock city as they could within 20 minutes.

The people, however, loved it. True, three planes were destroyed, with only one of the pilots managing to eject, and even he was badly injured. Still, the excitement of seeing jet aircraft actually ducking under bridges repeatedly (dramatically captured from different angles by helicopter-mounted cameras and automated cameras in the mock city) tempered the horror of seeing the crashes. Here, finally, was an extreme sport worthy of the name.

Bridge Limbo, if you’ll pardon the pun, took off after that and succeeding competitions saw even more pilots entering the competition. Currently, there are hundreds of registered Bridge Limbo teams with their own Belimote Buzzard jets, celebrity sports pilots, and sponsors. Of course, there have been some scandals involving misbehavior of celebrity pilots, on-the-side illegal betting, and such like scandals common for big sports. Not to mention the protests of activists who dislike the danger the pilots are put in for the sake of entertainment or those who protests the barring of those with metagenes, psychic abilities, or any genetic or biomechanical enhancement from competing. Plus, there’s also the issue of refugees or would-be villains having attempted to use the hollow “buildings” in the tournament’s mock city as, respectively, dwelling places or lairs.

Of course, Belimote has addressed some of the problems and safety concerns. First off, only the Belimote Buzzard, unarmed and customized to meet the heavy demands of bridge limbo, is recognized as the official tournament jet. Pilots need to have a minimum of eighteen months of training for the competition before being allowed to become a competitor. Of course, even with these the sport is still dangerous and lives have been lost. However, this all just makes it more exciting to people.

As for the issue of people attempting to make use of the mock city as villain lairs or dwelling places, Belimote has forged an agreement with the Brazilian government and military to help in the security. An agreement made possible with large sums of money. On site security is provided by well-trained and very competent EVIL Corp henchmen; ironic, considering that they sometimes have to secure the tournament city from villains who want to lair it up.

These measures, of course, have still not stopped the protests. But the protests themselves have not stopped Bridge Limbo from becoming the most popular sport on the planet. Some of the more popular competitors have actually had merchandise created for them, ranging from toys and souvenir jump suits to video games that carry their pictures and/or names on the cover.

Also, the mock city built for the tournament has also extended beyond its original purpose as a tournament ground. Besides, it seems an awful waste for an entire fake city to be built only for its bridges, especially when its creation almost financially destroyed Belimote. To maximize the money-earning capacity of the city Belimote has turned it into Extremopolis, an entire city dedicated to extreme sports. Extremopolis now features a wide array of extreme spots competitions, from BASE jumping, to urban street racing, bungee jumping, BMX, street luge, rollerblading, skateboarding, and much, much more. Added to those are the water sports that may be performed on the waters around the city. In fact, it has become the official home of the X-games and there have been Extremopolis Decathalons that have been organized involving teams doing multiple extreme sports in a single competition.

Of course, the competitions are placed and timed so as not to cause accidents between the different sports. After all, it would be lawsuit galore if, for example, a BASE jumper got sucked into the intake of a Belimote Buzzard that was flying by at that moment.

Thanks to all of these, Bridge Limbo and Exteremopolis have paid for themselves several times over and have made Belimote one of the richest men alive. It has also made his name synonymous to extreme sports, and the extreme sports community he is venerated like a god, figuratively and literally. In fact, there is now a rapidly growing Extreme Church of Belimote. Ironically, Belimote tries to distance himself from this cult since many of the members have been rather, well, moronic in terms of the extreme sports stunts that they consider a form of worship.
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I admire the man, he has a high tolerance for insanity (and inanity - which he generously contributed!). ~Shroom, on my wierdness tolerance.
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